


Cruel Intentions

by FayeC



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-14
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 03:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 79,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1729058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FayeC/pseuds/FayeC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikhail tempts Fei Long with a blank check to his entire fortune in exchange for one night with him, thus begins Fei Long's journey to break free from his past and find happiness. A love story of epic proportions that will break your heart and make you swoon. The 1st installment to the Mik/Fei trilogy that takes 7 years to write and has been translated into 7 languages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fan fiction where I had no beta or experience for the earlier chapters. English is also my second language so please excuse mistakes and lameness. It gets better later on. I promise.

Feilong looked at the vibrating black cell phone in his hand. His eyebrow lifted slightly when he saw the name on his screen. Arbatov.

He hesitated a little before picking up the call. Well, why not a little entertainment after such a long day?

“What do you want?” Fei spoke in Russian, something he wouldn’t normally do given that the man on the line could speak flawless Cantonese. Even though the head of Baishe was fluent in over 5 languages, he would never trouble himself in speaking anything but Cantonese unless he had no choice. After all, a man in his position should never have to try to impress anyone. But today he was in the mood to tease.

“You have me listed. I’m flattered.” The young Russian mafia sounded genuinely impressed.  
“How else could I have avoided your calls?” Feilong knew he was being an arrogant prick. But that was actually the ‘fun’ part in his relationship with Mikhail who kept coming back no matter how many times he threw those words at him.

Mikhail couldn’t help smiling. It was like Feilong to be so brutally straightforward. “I must have picked the right time to call today, haven’t I? What could possibly put you in such a good mood?” Mikhail responded with a calm, playful voice as usual. He had gotten used to Feilong’s heart-piercing words. It only made the man more exquisite.

“I can very well hang up right now to put an end to your curiosity.”

Mikhail laughed lightly. There was a reason he decided to answer the phone, which meant that he wasn’t going to hang up until he heard what Mikhail had to say. “Have mercy, sweetheart. I’m only proposing one harmless candlelit dinner not marriage.”

“You should already know my answer.” Feilong sighed. The man had been pressing him with dinner invitations for months. He had never accepted any of them, not unless they were business dinner with several other guests anyway.

“You wouldn’t have picked up the phone if you were going to say no.”

“Perhaps not.”

Even then Mikhail didn’t really believe his ears, but to raise questions would only give the haughty princess a chance to change her mind. Like in business dealings, he knew it was the time to conclude. After all, to get her royal highness to agree to anything he proposed had been harder than smuggling drugs into police headquarters.

“I’ll pick you up at 7. Dress formal.”  
Pick him up? Did Mikhail think he was the prom queen?  
“I never said I needed you to pick me up.”  
“No, but then I don’t feel like being stood up today.” He’d rather go bug Fei at Baishe than being stood up at yet another restaurant.  
“It’s what happen when you make the wrong assumptions. I never once said I’d be there.”  
It was partially true. But he didn’t say no then either.  
“Well, you haven’t exactly said yes this time.”  
Feilong chuckled. “I’ll be there. You have my word. Just tell me where.”

“You don’t actually think I would believe a word of a man who lies for a living?”  
Mikhail knew once he made up his mind, there would be no use pushing him. But still it didn’t hurt to try. He would just love to see the beautiful Fei sitting in his red Lamborghini with him at the wheel. Now, wouldn’t that be a sight?

“Don’t push your luck, Mikhail Arbatov. You have one hour to tell me where or you can forget dinner. Your decision.” Feilong quietly smiled to himself as he ended the conversation. The only way Mikhail was going to get him to play his game was with him being the one in control.

 

Mikhail twirled the delicate wine glass in his hand. Finally, a date with the ice queen, he thought. He had a feeling that her royal highness would grace him with her presence today after standing him up countless times. He should have minded being stood up by Feilong, or by anyone for that matter. A man in his position should never have to put up with something like that. But it was Liu Feilong. No one in the world could have such a perfect combination of beauty, pride, intelligence and strength such as Fei. That unrealistically beautiful face had the power to rob the hearts of every beholder, his included. Mikhail had never desired anyone more, nor failed to acquire anything he wanted so many times.

It was a little over six months ago that he first met the young leader of Baishe at a wedding held by a very powerful Chinese family that Fei and him happened to be working with. Liu Feilong, the renowned leader of Hong Kong’s largest crime organization, was someone you do not forget easily. In a room full of distinguished guests in designer suits and red carpet gowns, Feilong appeared with unequalled confidence in his stunning silver cheong sum that made everyone else seemed ordinary and out of place. Mikhail could swear the fine black hair that fell to his waist was pure silk. How was such profound beauty possible on a man? That flawless face made the most beautiful woman in the room felt ugly. That tall, elegant body glided across the room with the grace of a ballerina, while his presence radiated incredible intelligence and absolute supremacy. From the moment he set his eyes on Fei, Mikhail swore he would do anything to make him his own. And he had been trying in vain until this day.

Even though he had his back to the door of that expensive French restaurant, Feilong’s arrival could never go unnoticed. The man’s presence demanded attention from every pair of eyes any time and in any place he chose to walk into. Which was why Mikhail was not the least bit surprised when he sat down across the table without announcing himself. As soon as the room fell silent and all eyes seemed to stare in the same direction, he knew Feilong had arrived.

“I was beginning to think you’d go back to your old habits of standing me up again.” Mikhail complained without looking up.

“Oh, have some faith, will you?” Feilong smiled sarcastically as he tapped his finger on the empty wine glass as a gesture for it to be filled.

Mikhail finally lifted his eyes to the man sitting across the small table. His heart skipped a beat to see the familiar face of his dreams. The elegant Hong Kong triad leader was wearing one of his tailored silk suits on top of a white shirt made of shear fabric that revealed the pink of his flawless skin just enough to leave Mikhail imagining the rest with burning desire. No matter how many times they met, Feilong never failed to take his breath away. The man knew exactly how to use what he had to manipulate people. And he certainly had the best asset for the task.

“Are you sure about getting drunk around me?” It was more a suggestion than a question. He had heard of Fei’s low alcohol intolerance. Though Mikhail really wouldn’t mind at all.

“Perhaps I’m being kind.” Teasing Mikhail was truly one of life’s greatest pleasures.

“Or cruel. I know how you take pleasure in driving me insane, among other things.”

Perhaps Mikhail really did know him a little. After all, he couldn’t deny how he found it quite amusing to see what the young Russian mafia would do to get him where he wanted. It was a game of wit that he enjoyed.

Fei’s silence only confirmed the truth in Mikhail’s words. The man was a genuine, arrogant prick with the face of an angel. Yet it certainly was a part of what made Feilong so damn attractive. “I’ve already taken the liberty of ordering for you. I hope you don’t mind.”

Fei leaned back on his chair, drumming his elegant fingers on the white linen.  
“In that case we shall see if you really do know my taste in food.”

“Your taste in food was easy. Your taste in bed, I’ve yet to learn.” he winked.

For a moment there, Mikhail saw flame rose in Feilong’s eyes. The man was already beautiful with his usual, unreadable expression. But he was stunning beyond belief with those terrifying glare that threaten to kill whomever dared to disturb him. God certainly has a way of torturing his sinful subjects. To temp him with an insanely glorious creature like Feilong only to deny him the permission to touch was one hell of a punishment.

“Does it ever occur to you that such a day may never come?” Feilong took a deep breath before he responded. He was no longer a child to lose his temper over something like this.

Mikhail smiled back. “Oh, I don’t know about that. A few months ago you were avoiding my calls. Now you’re having a romantic dinner with me. In a few more months we’ll probably be on my bed having the fuck of the century right around this time.”

“You wouldn’t be sitting here right now if you think it was going to be that easy.” Feilong smiled knowingly, trying his best to not pull out his gun and put one in that curly blond head in front of him. Killing someone this important would put Baishe at risk. For now he just had to keep playing the game.

Mikhail laughed lightly at his insight. Feilong was far from naive and he certainly knew his worth. More than that he knew Mikhail loved to be challenged. Such rare, exotic flower like Feilong wouldn’t be so precious if it were easy to pluck.

“If you’re desperate enough to let just about any good-looking boy warm your bed these days then it’s not really impossible for me, is it?” He was pushing his limits. But he was far from being scared of Feilong’s rage.

To his surprise, Feilong was laughing out loud. Something Mikhail had never seen before. “ _You_ want to be my sex toy? You disappoint me, Mikhail Arbatov.”

“Sex toy? Oh, I can be much more than that, love. You don’t know what you’re missing.” Mikhail stared directly into Feilong’s eyes without smiling. He was being serious. “But if that’s what you’d like to call it, then yes, I wouldn’t mind. I _will_ have you under any circumstances, Feilong. You’d do well to remember that.”

Feilong took his time calculating his response. “You actually think I will take that offer?”

“Maybe.”

“And rid myself of an entertainment I so genuinely enjoy?”

Mikhail knew for a long time that Feilong had been playing him. Teasing him enough to keep him around but never once stayed close enough for him to reach.

“I know you take sadistic pleasure in torturing me, Feilong. But do remember that this particular entertainment is actually mine to give.” Mikhail paused to sip his wine. “Or take away for that matter. If you don’t start giving me something soon you might actually have to kiss it goodbye. Every man has his limits, you know?”

Feilong chuckled. “Sadistic pleasure, eh? I’m not the only one with cruel intentions here am I, Mikhail? All your life you’ve never been denied of what you wanted. Now I’m the only thing you just can’t seem to get no matter what you do. The minute I give in to you, you’ll find yourself on a plane back to Moscow for good. And who will be entertaining me then?”

“So basically you’re afraid I’m just going to fuck you and run off, is that it?”

“I’m basically saying that I’m still enjoying this tremendously. So, no, you’re not going to get laid tonight or anytime soon. Not by me anyway.” Fei leaned back on his chair, quietly sipping his second glass of wine. Never again would he allow anyone to play him. Once was more than enough. And it almost cost him his life.

Mikhail looked into those beautiful eyes and saw much more than what his cold words implied. There was more to him than his coldness. He could never have fallen so deeply for a mere arrogant prick with a pretty face. Feilong was complicated, sophisticated, and a walking contradiction. Who would have imagined that a lethal triad leader who kills and lies for a living would love to read, spend his free time in art galleries, and treasure his garden above all else? Underneath the cold, cruel mask he wore were powerful emotions buried deep down inside. Mikhail wondered what he saw in those eyes for a split second. Was it anger? Hatred? Or even sadness? Or was it everything combined? He had to know. “How is it possible that a man as proud as you are have such a low self esteem?”

Feilong raised his eyebrow slightly at the question he never expected to hear in his lifetime. “I do?”

“To think all I want from you is just sex. That I’d simply walk out on you if I’d succeeded. It seems as if you don’t think you deserve anything more than that.”

Feil was stunned at those words. He had never looked at it from that perspective. Perhaps the reason he could not bring himself to trust anyone was because he felt he didn’t deserve to be loved. Being an adopted son and having someone like his brother constantly reminded him of it must have left a scar. That was the reason why he needed to prove his father’s love so much. He didn’t feel loved and if his own family didn’t love him then who would? Asami’s betrayal only assured him of the fact. It all sprung from his own insecurity that he never knew existed. For some reason Mikhail saw through him.

His lack of response was unusual, but the expression on his face made Mikhail’s heart ache. Feilong looked as if he could cry. The man was deeply troubled. Something terrible must have happened to him to make someone as strong as Feilong think so low of himself. At that moment Mikhail wanted so much to pull him into his arms and comfort him with endless kiss, but he knew it was too soon for that. Feilong needs to know he could be trusted or he’ll never let him get close enough. This was going to be much harder than he first anticipated. He wasn’t just playing hard to get. It wasn’t just a matter of time. He had issues with insecurity, which was probably serious enough to send him hiding behind a brick wall.

“You know it’s not that I don’t have sex on my mind when I pursued you. There isn’t a single person in this room who doesn’t want to fuck you, Feilong.” He paused to study Fei’s reaction. His facial expression did not change. Feilong stared back with no trace of embarrassment on his face. He’d heard these words a thousand times from just about anybody.

"If that was all I wanted from you I could have just taken you by force. It isn't that hard with my power. You, of all people should already know that.”

“Of course, but then you’d be dead by now. It isn’t that hard with MY power.” Feilong sneered at the insulting remark.

With someone like Feilong that was probably true. There would have been a deadly war between Baishe and the Arbatov family if he did. But that wasn’t what stopped him.

"My point is, a man in my position knows treasure when I see one. Your sex appeal is just a small part of what makes you priceless to me. So no, I'm not here just to fuck you once and leave."

He meant what he said. Fei should know it would take more than his perfect body to satisfy Mikhail. He wanted to own this beautiful dragon. He wanted to see Fei with all his pride surrender helplessly to him.

"Besides, even if it were just for sex, with that gorgeous body of yours, once is never going to be enough anyway." He added.

Fei sat back and listened quietly. Whether what Mikhail said was true or not, it flattered him nonetheless. Those baby blue eyes didn't seem to be hiding anything. Perhaps it was a good idea to play this game a little longer and see what he had to offer.

While deliberating on what he should do with the golden haired Russian’s promise to invade his life, their waiter brought food to the table.

"Ah, here we are. You must be hungry. Especially after such a long miserable meeting over the casino deeds."

His comment startled Fei. How did he manage to get such detailed information? Information that only people in his inner circle should know. "And how would you know this?" Fei spoke with his best effort to appear calm and composed.

"I make a point of knowing everything you do, love. I even know what time you take your shower and that you sleep naked, among other things." Mikhail gave him a cunning smile. It was about time to lighten up the conversation.

"Oh please, you're seriously ruining my appetite." Feilong rolled his eyes. He was so going to get that mole and whack his whole family. It made him uneasy to think about what else Mikhail had found out.

"It's only the first course, sweetheart. We still have a long way to go."

Feilong's eyes widened in disbelieve. "Please tell me this is NOT a nine-course dinner."

He couldn't help enjoying the look on Fei's face when he found out. Mikhail had made damn sure it would be a long night. "Do you realize how hard it is to fly in a 3 Michelin-star chef within such short notice? I might as well make it worth the money. Perhaps if you hadn't turn me down so many times I might have had second thoughts."

It was hard to imagine what Mikhail paid for all this. But it was so like him to overdo everything. Whenever there was an excuse to send him a present, Mikhail always made sure Fei remembered it. How could he not remember? The man had sent a whole garden instead of a bouquet. Last month he had to redesign the whole security system in his study to protect a Monet masterpiece that Mikhail decided to send him as a gift. His birthday present next year could be an exotic island in the Bahamas equipped with luxurious villas and a truckload of staffs and he wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. "You do enjoy spending your money, don't you?"

"Enjoy? I'm obsessed with it. What's the point of being filthy rich and not spending the hell out of it? You only get to live once, sweetheart. You might as well live."

His bright blue eyes sparkled as he spoke. Feilong couldn't deny there was something unique about that blond haired, blue-eyed Russian. Mikhail was incredibly confident, extremely straightforward, and exceptionally intelligent. He was a man who knew exactly what he wanted and never hesitated to do what it takes to get it. Fei had always respected him for that.

It was the first time he saw Fei smiled. Really smiled. Even though it appeared for a split second and only faintly, it was enough to put butterflies in his stomach. "Now, I'd pay a million bucks to see that smile again."

"Ten." Fei was in the mood to negotiate.

Mikhail laughed. "Sweetheart, at ten-million I'd have to take you home with me."

Fei sneered at the ridiculous bargain. "Now THAT would take a figure you cannot afford."

Mikhail stared into Feilong’s eyes as he calculated his response. Then he took out his checkbook, tore one off, and signed on it. “Here’s a blank check to my business account. You know what I’m worth. Try me.” He spoke as he slapped down the check on the table right in between them.

"Are you serious?" He knew Mikhail was not normal. But Fei didn’t think he was that crazy. A blank check to his business account could leave him bankrupt overnight.

“About getting you into bed with me? Always.”

Fei listened in awe. But the look on his face showed he meant it. “You’re crazy, you know that?”

“I get that a lot. So, what’s your answer? Yes or no?” Mikhail’s eyes demanded an answer.

This could be interesting, Fei thought. With that one check he would have the power to destroy Mikhail Arbatov. He could use it to press him to do whatever he wants. Or he could use it to expand his own powers. But to take that kind of money in exchange for sex would make him a whore. No doubt the world’s most expensive whore but a whore no less. He should have been severely offended but for some strange reason he wasn’t. Mikhail certainly had a way of handling people.

Feilong knew from the start what it was really about. That sly bastard was testing him, to see what he was really worth. Under the circumstances he should turn down the offer without hesitation, but then this game would end too soon, and he was having too much fun. He was starting to enjoy the company. Mikhail was someone who could keep him interested and challenged, a worthy adversary indeed.

“What’s the rush, Mikhail?” He smiled cunningly before mocking Mikhail’s exact words, complete with Russian accent and all. “It’s only the first course, sweetheart. We still have a LONG time to go.”

***

Course after course and the check was still sitting there between them, untouched. Both men tried to ignore it was there and pretended to talk about something else. But every once in a while they would glance at it and felt the growing tension accelerated by the minute.

Mikhail knew it was unlikely that Feilong would pick up the check, yet the fact that he hadn’t refused excited him and was driving him mad.

Fei was deliberating whether he should end the night leaving Mikhail desperate for more or to pick up the check and find out what the man was made of. After all, at this point he couldn’t deny that he was curious about what having sex with this cunning, blue-eyed Russian would be like given the tension on that table had already topped the thrill of all the exhilarating sex he’d experienced. Having sex with pretty boys was fun, but having sex with an attractive, equally powerful, Russian mafia with blond hair and blue eyes could be an experience unique enough to remember.

At long last, desert was on the table. Mikhail was growing impatient. “So, has the princess decided?”

Feilong just sat still, as if it wasn’t an important question. “I’m still waiting for my coffee.”

Mikhail swore he would have grabbed that elegant neck and squeezed the life out of him if it wasn’t for the burning desire in his chest. He had lost his patience and decided to reach out for the check and call it quits but Fei’s hand snatched it just before he succeeded.

“I’ll take that.” Fei smiled deviously waving the check his hand. “Now can we have coffee?”

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Here we are.” Mikhail announced as the elevator door opened into his luxurious penthouse atop one of Hong Kong’s finest central district skyscraper.

Feilong couldn’t understand why he let himself be taken here in the first place, or why he felt the urge to pick up that blank check. Perhaps it was the wine. Perhaps he just needed to be with someone that night. Or perhaps he’d just been waiting for an excuse to give himself another chance to trust and that check landed right on his lap. It didn’t really matter why anyway. Not anymore. Not tonight. At that particular moment he was through with being in control.

“What is this? Your bachelor room?” Feilong teased. From the decoration it couldn’t have been otherwise. The full, sleek bar was sitting where there should have been a kitchen. While the absence of the dining table gave space for a lavish living room that overlooked a rather large plunge pool out on an insanely spacious balcony. The place was made especially for private parties and whatever the young Russian mafia saw fit to entertain himself.

“Sort of. Like it?” Mikhail answered while taking off his jacket.

Fei didn’t answer. He took off his own jacket and placed it on one of the sofas before walking towards the balcony. The view was similar to his private quarter at Baishe but the place felt very different from his own. Everything from the black leather on steel framed furniture to the glittering marbled floor was strangely seductive.

“You live very well.” He felt compelled to compliment.  
“Thank you.” Mikhail responded without looking. He was punching something into his universal remote control that turned on the row of blue spotlights under the pool, illuminating it to perfectly match the night sky. Feilong couldn’t help admiring the superb lighting job that was done to this place. And the placements of multiple, top quality speakers hidden in and outside the room filled the space with crystal clear melody that could easily sweep anyone right off their feet.

It was Ella Fitzgerald singing Moonlight Becomes You.

Feilong couldn’t help laughing quietly to himself. “YOU listen to this stuff?” He loved jazz, but Mikhail Arbatov? Russian mafia in white suits who drives a red Lamborghini listens to jazz?

At this point Mikhail was standing right behind him, breathing heavily on the back his neck.

“Perhaps I’d just strategically put it on to seduce you because I know you like jazz.” He winced at Fei who appeared quite frustrated at his answer, then admitted, “No, I actually like this stuff and have a whole collection hidden under my bed. Unbelievable, I know. Just don’t tell anyone. It’s kind of embarrassing for my image.”

He didn’t believe his ears either when he heard such a confession from the supposedly evil Russian mafia. But he knew Mikhail wasn’t lying. The expression on his face showed genuine appreciation of the sweet sound. More than that, he seemed to be having the time of his life.

“Now I wonder what other embarrassing stuff a Russian mafia keeps under his bed.” Fei chuckled.

“Why don’t we find out?” He whispered.

Fei felt Mikhail’s hand stroking his hair. The touch was strangely comfortable. Mikhail took his time as he gently caressed the fine, jet-black strands that resembled the finest silk he’d ever touched. The familiar scent he’d long yearned for reached his nose. It was a perfect blend of musk and some exotic, mysterious Asian spices he had yet to discover. That, combined with the sweet scent unique to the man himself could always drive him mad. He wanted to kiss the flawless skin underneath those clothes and devoured that beautiful scent until he could take no more. He needed to feel the softness of Fei’s skin on his hands until he could remember every inch of that beautiful body in front of him. Mikhail’s hand was shivering when he lifted the silk strands away from Fei’s face and whispered in his ear. “You are beautiful enough to kill, you know that?”

Feilong turned around slowly to face the man standing right behind him. Mikhail was close enough for Fei to feel the warmth from his body. His breathing was growing stronger and faster as he leaned closer to Fei’s faintly blushed cheeks before planting a soft kiss on his lips. It was a short, reluctant kiss at first that evolved into something entirely different. Mikhail was now pressing hard onto those soft, juicy lips that parted for him to devour the taste in his mouth. It was the sweet taste of perfection, the taste of Liu Feilong. This man was unmistakably God’s greatest creation, and for once Mikhail was blessed with a taste of heaven.

Fei could feel blood rushing through his veins as he was offered such madly, passionate kiss. Mikhail’s lips were burning with desire so strong that he couldn’t bring himself to resist. Not that those strong hands entwined in his hair were ever going to let him go anyway. The thought of someone wanting him so bad made him vulnerable to the touch. It was the first time he’d let Mikhail kissed him yet it felt strangely familiar. Somehow he remembered this feeling. Someone, somewhere had given him a kiss so similar to this.

And then it hit him. Hard.

“No!” He let out a painful cry, trying to tear away from the warm embrace. But Mikhail only held him closer and tighter. “No!” With one powerful thrust he was able to free himself.

Fei covered his mouth in shock with his hand. His body was shaking uncontrollably. How could he have done something so stupid? Not this. Not again!

“Fei?” Mikhail gasped as he tried to regain his balance. He didn’t understand what was happening until he saw the expression on Fei’s face. It was the look of pure horror. As if he had just realized someone close to him had died. “Feilong?” He reached out for Fei’s arm only to have his hand slapped away without hesitation.

“I can’t do this.” Feilong sounded as if he was going to cry before he picked up his jacket and headed for the exit as fast as he could.

“We had a deal.” Mikhail bit his lips when he realized what he’d just spoken out loud. Even though he was maddening with desire he should never have brought it up. It was unforgivable.

‘Unforgivable’ was Fei’s exact expression when he tore the check to pieces and threw them in Mikhail’s face. “I am NOT your whore!”

Mikhail could not believe what was happening. Those words tore at his heart. He was so close. Fei was in his arms just a few minutes before, ready to give in. Something went wrong, something that wasn’t him. Somebody did something to Fei.

“Who was it?” Mikhail asked with a tone that told Fei he was determined to find out. It stopped him in his track but didn’t make him turn around. “Who did I remind you of just now?”

In his pursuit of Feilong, Mikhail had dug up everything there was to know about the man and made damn well sure he remembered everyone who could have been his competition. But to his knowledge Fei had never been involved in a serious relationship with anyone ever since he had gotten out of jail. Or was it before that? Did something happen over seven years ago that had been haunting Fei until this day? His heartbeat was racing as he searched his memories. Something did happen seven years ago. His father was killed. Fei was shot. There was a man involved. Japanese.

“Asami Riuichi?” For some reason, Mikhail was so sure he had the right name. Feilong confirmed it with a gun in his hand and the furious rage in his eyes.

“Don’t you dare speak that name in front of me!” The gun was aimed directly at him, it’s bearer ready to pull the trigger.

Mikhail approached him with deadly determination. Feilong can shoot him for all her cared but he wasn’t going to let him leave. Not tonight. Not like this.

He stopped right in front of Fei, his broad chest pressed against the barrel of his gun. “Shoot me, if you must.” He glided his hand on Fei’s delicate face. “But there isn’t anyone else but me who can make you forget.” His other hand pushed the gun away slowly as he wrapped his arm around Fei’s waist and pulled him close. “Let me help you.”

Feilong was standing as still as a porcelain doll as Mikhail kissed him again. Only this time it made his head spun. As much as he wanted to resist, his body was aching for the touch. Perhaps it was what he needed, someone to help him forget. Someone who could replace those memories with better ones. He didn’t struggle as Mikhail carried him into the bedroom and laid him softly on the bed covered with finest Egyptian cotton linens. He felt Mikhail’s hands stroking his hair, rearranging them away from his face as he closed his eyes. He planted a firm kiss on his neck as his hands loosened up the buttons on Fei’s white shirt. The feel of his lips trailing down Fei’s chest made him quiver. The softness of his tongue as he twirled it around his nipples made him cry out the sound of pure pleasure. He had never been touched like this. Not with the same intensity.

Mikhail’s heartbeat was racing like mad as he looked at the beautiful body in front of him. Feilong was a vision. That perfect face twisted in ecstasy, buried behind the silk strands of his hair that scattered around his face and on his chest. His elegant body that seemed fragile with his clothes on was unexpectedly covered with firm, refined muscles from all his training that resembled an ancient Greek sculpture of Apollo himself. All that, covered with skin impossibly smooth overwhelmed him with desire he never felt. That Asami Riuichi must be blind to desert such beauty. Either that or the man must have possessed unbelievable capacity for self-control.

Mikhail unzipped Fei’s trousers and guided his hand slowly down his manhood that was already fully erect. The body beneath him twitched as he caressed it in his hand and Fei cried out feverishly as he took it in his mouth. Mikhail took his time, immersing himself in the intense pleasure of hearing the sweet sound of his moans. He was close. Mikhail could feel it from the tightening grip of Fei’s hand on his hair.

“Mikhail, please...” Fei couldn’t believe he was begging. But how could he resist such desperation? It was beyond his control.

Instead, Mikhail stopped and moved up to kiss him on his cheek. “Oh, no I’m not finished with you yet.” He whispered.

Feilong thought of strangling the man right then and there. The evil Russian mafia was making him beg on purpose. How dare he?

“Ouch!!” Mikhail cried out as Fei’s fingernails dug into his flesh and dragged across his back.

“Serves you right.” Fei snickered.  
“Patient, princess.” Mikhail didn’t budge.  
Frustrated beyond help, Fei grabbed his neck and squeezed until he choked. “You WILL finish what you’ve started.”

Mikhail couldn’t help admiring those beautiful eyes filled with maddening desire equaled to his own. He struggled to jerk those strong hands off his neck and pinned them back over his head.

“Right. I’ll finish what I’ve started.” Mikhail smiled cunningly as he pulled out the tie around his neck and tied Fei’s wrists to the bed before he started to take his own clothes off.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Fei struggled to get free. His eyes widened in disbelief as he saw Mikhail pulled out a tube of lubricant from a drawer. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

But the flame in his eyes only made Mikhail lose further control. He squeezed the lube on his fingers and slid one inside that tight opening which had never been touched.

“No! Ahhhh…. You son of a bitch! Get off me!” His scream was a mixture of pleasure and rage. He had never let anyone take him before. Mikhail must have had a death wish by doing this. He should have pulled the trigger when he had the chance.

“I promise you’ll enjoy this.” Mikhail kissed him as his second finger made its way into Fei. Then there was a sharp pain on his upper lip that made him jerked back his head. Fei had bit his lip hard enough that he could taste his own blood in his mouth.

“You are so begging for this, aren’t you?” Mikhail raised his voice while trying to collect his breath. This made Fei struggle like mad and cursed in several languages despite Mikhail’s unwavering effort to hold him down. It almost felt like rape yet it wasn’t. It was even better than the sadistic excitement of rape, far better and beyond.

What started out as gentle, passionate foreplay turned into an exhilarating battle of sexual domination from both men. The intensity of the situation alone was stimulating enough to make them come without further contact. Mikhail was thrilled to see the indescribable look on that beautiful face as Fei struggled to control his body from enjoying what his mind dreaded. As he pushed himself into Fei, it made him cry out the sound that was heaven to Mikhail’s ears. He was losing himself further every time he moved against that body. He wrapped his hand around Fei’s erection that was ready to explode any minute, and then he finally came at the exquisite sound of Fei’s own orgasm. What happened wasn’t just sex, it was one hell of a life-altering experience.

Fei was drifting off in exhaustion as Mikhail caressed the softness of his cheek drenched with sweat. He had to admit that it wasn’t just the wine that made him dizzy and fell asleep in Mikhail’s arms. It had something to do with the warmth and safety of that embrace, that, and the hand that was stoking his hair.

 

 

 

Feilong woke up with an intense pain in his head. It must have been the wine. He should never have drunk so much. As he realized where he was he cursed himself quietly then looked around for the other man’s presence. It was quiet and empty. There was no trace of life in that room. “Mikhail?” He called out reluctantly as he searched for his clothes.

There was no answer. He felt a chill racing down his spine as he realized what had happened. He knew this and even said it aloud.

“The moment I give in to you, you’ll find yourself on a plane back to Moscow for good.”

He sat at the end of the bed gazing out into the empty space wondering why he had never learnt his lessons. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily as his hands clutched the fine linen with iron grip. Seven years had passed and he was still so naive. Seven, long, miserable years and he was still stupid enough to repeat history all over again. At least this time he hadn’t let himself fall so deep. Mikhail was a mere disappointment rather than a major heartbreak.

He got off the bed and went to the bathroom. He needed a shower. He needed to wash off the scent of that man on his body and hopefully it will wash off the feel of his embrace that still lingered there as well. As he walked pass the enormous mirror above the sink he saw the marks on his body. Disgusting bruises, bite marks, and kiss marks shamelessly scattered over his chest and neck. It was nauseating when he thought of what happened that night. For the second time in his life he felt like crawling out of his skin.

 

Feilong put his clothes on after finishing his shower and walked out to the living room. To his surprise it seemed someone had put out a rather elaborate set of breakfast on the bar table. He picked up the perfectly polished silver covers on each plate and found that the food were untouched. Then he noticed a white piece of folded paper on an empty plate with his name on it. He paused indecisively before picking up the note and read the hand written words in black ink that said:

 

 

Good morning, princess.

Very important meeting. Must run.  
Do have some breakfast before you leave.  
Will call in the afternoon.

P.S. I am NOT on a plane to Moscow.

Yours,  
M. Arbatov

 

 

Feilong seemed to be taking forever to finish reading a rather short note, as if he wasn’t sure those words really existed. Then a faint smile swept across his face as he sat down and started having breakfast.

 

 

**Note: So, how did I do? Part 3, anyone?


	3. Chapter 3

A middle-aged man in black suit stood still in the lavishly decorated drawing room. The depressingly sweet sound from the piano filled the luxurious hallway with an almost haunting atmosphere. He raked one hand through his pale blond hair and sighed heavily. Rachmaninoff. Everyone knew the young boss was never in a good mood when he played Tchaikovsky. But when it's Rachmaninoff he was depressed enough to kill.

"You have news for me, Boris?" His fingers were still working the keys as he spoke.

Boris may have been his subordinate in position, but he was also a trusted friend. All his life he had worked hard to protect the interest of this family. His loyalty and dedication had placed him in the position to be respected by all the Arbatovs. If anyone could deliver bad news during Rachmaninoff and survive, it was Boris. Even so he needed another deep breath before he started.

"Mikhail. I think we should talk."

"You couldn't get the ticket?"

"You ask for the impossible."

"You can find a way to smuggle diamonds from Africa but it's impossible to get me an opera ticket? Is that what you're saying?" Mikhail still hadn't looked up from the piano but from the way he hit those ivory keys it wasn't hard to guess his expression.

"It's not just an opera ticket, Mikhail. It's an opening night ticket to Turandot at the Forbidden City. It's a once in a lifetime event and it's tomorrow. How do you suppose I get it?"

"I don't give a fuck how you get it, Boris. Just get it. Kill a few people, for all I care."

"You're acting like a 3-year old. All this for just one date?"

"Do not invade my privacy, Boris. What I do with my power is not your concern."

"What you do reflect the future of this family. It is not wise for a mafia boss to show his weakness over something, most of all a person."

By then everyone knew about the man Mikhail Arbatov had been obsessed with. Not that he ever had any intention in keeping it a secret anyway. Such relationship would have been acceptable if they were in a legitimate business. But in the world they live in, it is dangerous to fall for someone so deeply, even more dangerous to fall for someone so powerful as Liu Fei Long. Mikhail had proved to be a superb leader with incredible courage and intelligence, but this one sided relationship with the head of Baishe was making him vulnerable.

"You'd dare lecture me, Boris?" Mikhail stopped playing and finally turned around. His blue eyes sparkled in fury.

Whenever the usual, playful expression disappeared completely from the young Russian mafia's face, Boris knew it was the end of discussion.

"It's only a suggestion. I just hope you know what you're doing."

"The ticket, Boris. I want it on my desk by tomorrow morning. And make a reservation for the best suite at whatever hotel he's staying. Do not fail me."

Boris nodded quietly and left the room. He'd better find a way to get that ticket or there'd be hell to pay in the morning. The young boss was usually quite understanding but not when he had that look on his face. God knows what the head of Baishe did to put him in such a terrible mood.

What the head of Baishe did was nothing. And it was because he did nothing that infuriated Mikhail. It had been three weeks from that night they spent together that Fei Long refused to pick up his calls. All his attempts to set up a meeting with Fei had been rejected as if that night had changed nothing in their relationships. Mikhail would have been able to bear it like before had he not already been given a taste of that beautiful dragon. It was torture to want something he couldn't touch. But to have tasted something so divine only to be denied of it afterwards was driving him insane by the minute. Fei Long was like a powerful drug, extremely potent and severely addictive. He was so desperate to inhale that scent. He was dying to taste that skin.

Mikhail was all out of ideas when he came upon an article on Turandot performances at the Forbidden City. A once in a lifetime experience of seeing one of the best operas ever written performed at its original setting was something Fei Long would never miss. Not when he regularly buys the whole season's tickets to La Scala and The Met performances a year in advance. If he couldn't get Fei where he wanted, then Mikhail would just have to be where he is.

 

**

"Ah-choo.!" The sound of Tao sudden sneeze made his master turn around. "I'm sorry Fei-sama."  
"No, it's all right. Do you have a cold?"  
"I don't think so. I bet someone was talking about me just now. They are all jealous that you're taking me with you to Beijing." Tao smiled proudly.

"Well, I need you around to help me. Besides, you will enjoy this trip a lot." Fei Long gave him a gentle smile only Tao was allowed to see. Tao stared at him strangely with his mouth partially opened.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, Fei-sama."

"No, tell me."

"It's just that you seem different."

"How so?"

"You seem more...how shall I put it? Peaceful, I guess. You also smile more often."

"I'm just really looking forward to this event, that's all. Is it really that bad?"

"Bad? No, it's great. Everyone's happy to see you in such a good mood for almost three weeks now."

"Three weeks?"

"I think so, Fei-sama. I think since you came back from that meeting in the morning. It must have turned out well."

Unbelievable. He'd hate to think that night had anything to do with his mood. He hadn't even noticed he had been in a good mood lately. Though if Tao said so it was probably true. No one was as sensitive to his feelings as Tao. The boy knew exactly what he wanted and when he wanted just by observing his expressions.

"Fei-sama, are you all right? You look flushed. Shall I turn up the air conditioning?"

Dear God, I'm even blushing now?

"No, Tao, I'm all right. Why don't you go and finish packing. Pack some warm clothes as well, it's going to be quite cold."

"Yes, Fei-sama." Tao hurried out from the room. His master's words suggested he needed some time alone and he knew better than to ask questions.

Fei Long sat down at his desk, thinking about what Tao just said. It had been almost three weeks since that night. Mikhail had been trying to call him almost everyday, to which he never answered. Though he could not deny the fact that he did enjoy that night with Mikhail, the memory of it still made him uneasy. He wasn't sure it was a good idea to get emotionally or even just physically involved with someone in Mikhail's position. It was as risky for him as it was for Baishe and he needed time to think it over carefully.

But with all reasons and responsibilities aside, he was so ready to pick up the phone and give Mikhail a call. It was a battle between his mind and his body, perhaps also his heart, and until it was settled, it would be extremely unwise to see or even talk to him. The Russian mafia was always openly aggressive in obtaining what he wanted, and Fei Long knew his own self-control was approaching its limits.

He leaned back on his chair and sighed heavily. It would be good to get away from all this for a while. The trip to Beijing would probably help.

***

Beijing.

 

 

Mikhail was sitting alone in the luxurious lobby with a martini in his hand when a black limousine stopped at the entrance followed by three black identical BMWs. The hotel manager and a trail of welcoming staffs waited at the door for five bodyguards in black suits to escort their distinguished guest from the limo. Mikhail could feel his heartbeat accelerated as he watched the elegant figure stepped out of the car.

Fei Long was wearing a close-fitting silk shirt in black underneath a golden tan cashmere overcoat. The shirt's mandarin collar was opened deep down to his chest, revealing in small parts the solid muscles underneath. Mikhail swallowed hard at the sight of those elegant collarbones that could always make him salivate. With all those giant bodyguards blocking the view, Fei failed to notice him as he walked through the lobby accompanied by a small boy on one side and Yoh on the other. Mikhail got up and walked steadily towards the head of Baishe, prompting his bodyguards to draw their guns at him.

Fei Long turned around swiftly and stopped dead in his tracks. It was as if something had stuck him in the chest and stopped him from breathing momentarily when he saw Mikhail.

"What's the matter? You look like you'd seen a ghost." Mikhail moved closer, his hands still in his pockets, ignoring all the guns pointing at him.

Fei Long collected his breath and signaled his men to lower their weapons and step aside.

"Why are you here?" He asked with the usual unreadable tone matching his icy glare.

"This isn't Baishe headquarter, Fei Long. I can be here if and whenever I want to."

Fei Long stared directly into those predatory blue eyes and gave him a bitter smile. "Well, then enjoy your stay, Mikhail Arbatov. Please excuse me."

Just as he turned his back to Mikhail, his arm was caught and pulled back so swiftly that it made him lose his balance. Mikhail's strong arm caught him in time by the waist with no intention of letting go.

"Take your hands off me or I swear I'll kill you." He spoke in a whisper through his teeth. Mikhail should know better than to touch him in public, especially in front of his men.

He leaned forward, his arm still tight around Fei's waist, and whispered, "We need to talk. Invite me to your suite or I swear I will jump you right here. I don't care anymore."

He wasn't joking. Fei Long could see the burning desire in those eyes. The way he breathed suggested he was mad enough to fulfill his promise and no threat on earth was going to change it. Fei Long's heart was beating so loud he swore Mikhail could hear. He had to do something. He had to get away from that embrace before he could no longer control himself.

"Come up in 30 minutes. We'll talk."

Mikhail loosened his grip and took a step back then held out his hand. "The key card, Fei Long. I don't trust you."

Fei Long stared at him in disbelief, then he realized Mikhail was not joking. This wasn't the same man he knew from the past seven months. That Mikhail was playful, relaxed, and generally harmless, or at least he appeared so. But this man in front of him was intensely ferocious. His eyes resembled those of a predator who had marked its prey and was ready to move in for the kill.

"Yoh. Get Mr. Arbatov a key card." He said calmly before walking towards the private elevator that led directly to his suite. He didn't have to look back to know those eyes were still on him. For the first time in seven months, Mikhail had managed to send a chill right down his spine.

It was the most luxurious suite in Beijing and possibly China. He had specifically chosen this suite for its traditional Chinese decor that made him feel at ease and relaxed. Fei Long took off his overcoat and handed it to Tao before stepping lightly on the gold marbled floor towards the spacious living room. Tao was running around the suite excitedly to see where things were when he suddenly remembered his duties.

"Fei-sama, shall I take out your clothes and press them now?"

"They have private butlers to do that, Tao. Why don't you go to your room and unpack. I don't need anything right now."

"Err, can I walk around a bit and see the city then?"

"Of course. Yoh, go with him."

Tao smiled in excitement as he heard his master's approval for his sightseeing of Beijing. "Thank you so much, Fei-sama. I'll be back to help you get dressed for the opera tonight." He turned to Yoh and tugged at his sleeve. "Let's go."

Yoh stood still, looking at Fei Long with deep concern. "I will have someone outside the door in case there's an emergency."

"There is no need, Yoh. Just go."

Fei just wanted everyone out and away from him. He needed to be alone and gather his strength in order to be more in control of himself when Mikhail arrived.

After Yoh and Tao left, Fei Long called for his private butler to unpack. He waited by the large window in the living room as the butler finished up and left to press his clothes. The room had spectacular view of the Forbidden City but he didn't have the heart to look. Unable to sit still, he paced back and forth in front of that window uncontrollably. His heart was still beating fast from Mikhail's touch and he didn't know how to stop it. It reminded him of the pleasure he felt when he was in those arms and how he'd been secretly wanting more. Fei didn't think the Russian would go as far as to follow him here. Perhaps it was a wrong decision to shut him out completely. His effort to suppress his own needs and desire had left him even more vulnerable to Mikhail's touch. On top of that it had left Mikhail hungry enough to try to hunt him down.

 

A few knocks on the door tore him away from his thoughts. Had it been half an hour already? He walked slowly to the door and hesitated for a minute before he opened.

"You're earl...." Strong hands grabbed the back of his head and forced a kiss on those lips before he could finish the sentence. Fei Long's struggles to break the kiss didn't succeed until his third try. He swore Mikhail was going to eat him alive.

"I said we'd talk. Nothing more." Fei Long tried to remain as calm as he could but realized he had failed miserably and turned his face away. Mikhail's arms were still holding on to him impossibly tight. His face was only an inch away and he was breathing heavily down Fei's neck.

"We'll talk." Mikhail whispered, pressing his lips on those delicious collarbones. "Later." He pressed his lips onto Fei's and forced his tongue through, savoring the taste he'd long yearn for.

Fei Long closed his fists on Mikhail's collar, trying to draw the last drop of strength he had left to break free. "I don't want to do this, Mikhail." He knew his words were not very convincing but he had to try. Mikhail paused and looked straight into his eyes, his hand traveled down Fei's trousers and found him growing hard with each touch. "Yes, you do. Why do you always need an excuse to give in to me?"

"It's too dangerous, Mikhail, who we are."

Mikhail ran his fingers through the silk strands of that jet-black hair he had been dreaming of every night and moved on to caress the softness of his cheek. "True. But do you REALLY want to be safe?" Mikhail lifted Fei's chin and spoke with a cunning smile. "The proud and unbeatable dragon of Baishe, afraid of something? Really?"

Fei Long bit his lips and frowned at Mikhail. How was it that the Russian bastard always knew what to say to get his way? And he couldn't have picked a better time to say it. His body was so ready to give in and upon hearing those challenging words he had completely lost the power to struggle. It was the excuse he was looking for. Mikhail knew he needed one and delivered one in perfect timing.

"Remember, Mikhail. You're the one who asked for it." He grabbed Mikhail by the collar and pulled him down to a deep kiss. To hell with reasons and responsibility. There was no turning back now.

It was the first time Fei Long had willingly kissed him. The fact that he would allow Mikhail to touch him without struggle was enough to fulfill his burning desire. But for Fei to vigorously press himself into Mikhail's embrace, aggressively taking pleasure from him was beyond his ultimate sexual fantasy.

"God, this is going to be even better than last time." Mikhail couldn't help saying it out loud.

 

Fei Long paused and peeked through his unbelievably long lashes. "Oh, please, I was drunk, you had me tied up and you thought it was good? You disappoint me, Mikhail Arbatov."

The seductive look on Fei's face made Mikhail's knees grew weak. For a moment there he started to have second thoughts about their relationships. It was scary to think how far he could fall for this beautiful creature in front of him. With just one smile, Fei Long could have him on his knees. With just one kiss and he'd be completely helpless.

Fei Long's hands slowly loosened up the buttons on Mikhail's shirt. His elegant fingers stroke the firm and defined muscles on Mikhail's bare chest before pressing his lips onto the nipples that were already hard and erect. There were no words to describe the thrill of seeing that beautiful face pressed onto his body. Mikhail swore he nearly died at the sight of Fei Long working his way down to his trousers. He grabbed Fei's upper arm and pulled him right back up in one swift move.

"You'd better stay away from there or this is going to end very quickly."

"What's the matter, Mikhail? Is that all you can take from me?" Fei snickered.

Perhaps it was the insult that did it. Or perhaps it was his own weakness for the man in front of him. Mikhail found himself pushing Fei against the wall so hard it made him cry out in pain. His hands seized Fei's silk shirt and tore it apart in one forceful move. He no longer had enough control to be gentle. Fei let out a loud moan as Mikhail grabbed his hair and jerked back his head to force a kiss on those luscious lips. His fingers dug into Fei's flawless skin deep and hard enough to leave quite a few bruises on that perfect body for at least a week. He sank his teeth down into Fei's neck mercilessly. The hunger he felt for Fei had brought out the raw animal instinct within him and he wasn't going to stop until he had tasted it enough.

"Aggghhhh.." Fei Long arched his back in agony as Mikhail's fingers dragged across his chest. "Mikhail! Enough!" Fei struggled, trying to pry those hands off his body.

Instead of loosening his grip, Mikhail spun him around and shoved him against the wall. His hand reached out to pull down Fei's trousers before undoing his own. He closed his hand around Fei's erection and stroke it until the body in his arms was twitching beyond control. With one powerful thrust he pushed his way in, to which Fei cried out in agony. It had to be painful but he could no longer hold back. Not after three weeks of enduring such profound hunger to hold this body in his arms.

It may have been a quick release for both of them but the sound of their orgasm might as well have been heard two floors down.

Mikhail rested his face on Fei's shoulder, still holding him in his arms. "God, Fei, you really have me by the leash."

"In that case, get off me."

Mikhail looked at him with sad eyes. "I was right. You ARE cruel."

"Look who's talking. You've just destroyed my favorite Dolce & Gabbana shirt. You even bit me!" Fei Long frowned as he looked at the damaged silk shirt. "Besides, if I really were cruel, I would have said 'get out.' "

"So I can stay?" Mikhail asked with hopeful eyes. Fei imagined if he had a tail he would be wagging it right about now.

"Oh, by all means, stay. And to show that I'm not cruel you can even join me in the shower. You do need one." Fei Long gave him a brief smile and fluttered his long lashes in a seductive manner.

Mikhail stared at him with his mouth opened and quickly covered his nose as he realized it was bleeding.

"Are you ok? Christ, that's a lot of blood. What the hell were you thinking?" Fei Long quickly reached for some tissues and handed them to Mikhail.

What the hell was he thinking? Glorious Fei, stark-naked in the shower, with water dripping down that delicious body, and wet hair that clings to his face. Just imagining it gave him a major nosebleed.

"God, Mikhail! Snap out of it. I don't want you dying in my living room. What is wrong with you?"

"Low tolerance." Mikhail tried to speak, choking on his own blood.

"Of what?"

"You."

 

***

Note: Part 4 will have a bit of Yoh x Fei Long as well. Would you guys like to see that? Yes? No? Oh, Mik's still there, of course.  



	4. Chapter 4

Tao knocked several times but there was no answer. He quietly opened the door and stepped inside. When he realized the living room was empty, he proceeded to the dining room with Yoh right behind him.

Tao looked at the empty plates on the long dining table and realized his master must have already eaten and it seemed he had company. Probably the blond guy he met at the lobby. Though his instinct told him that man had left, and since the bedroom door was slightly opened, it was probably safe to enter, he had to make sure.

"Perhaps Fei-sama is sleeping. Stay here. I will go check." Being the only one allowed unrestricted to his master's private quarters, it was impossible for Tao to not know his master's sexual preference. He had seen more than he needed to know how to keep his master's privacy untouched. No one but him was to peek into that bedroom before he did, not even Yoh.

Tao opened the door carefully. If his master was asleep he sure didn't want to wake him up when there's still time before he needed to get ready for the opera. And he was right, Fei Long was sleeping alone on his bed.

Tao sighed as he quietly stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him. "He is sleeping. I should go and get ready before I come back to help Fei-sama get dressed. Will you stay here and wake him up in a about half an hour?"

Yoh nodded in response.

"Thank you, Yoh-san." Tao said with a soft smile before leaving the suite to his own room.

Yoh stood still in front of the bedroom for a while, thinking to himself. Behind this door lies the beautiful dragon of Baishe, his master. For seven years he had been by his side as one of the most loyal subordinate in Baishe. Fei Long had never traveled nor stayed anywhere without him. Even though he knew Fei Long trusted him with his life, 'close' was far from the word to describe his relationship with his master. The only one he would allow to be 'close' to him was Tao. Never him. Never anyone else. Not those boys he had taken to bed after all these years, not even the Russian.

He quietly opened the door and stepped inside. There he was, deep in his sleep on the pure white linen of the sumptuous bed, wearing nothing but the loose silk robe that revealed a good part of his chest covered with refined muscles begging to be touched. Despite being the most feared man in Hong Kong, his master had the face of an angel, especially in his sleep.

Yoh stepped closer to the bed and leaned down to examine that flawless face surrounded by the silky strands of his back-length hair. Such breathtaking beauty had been haunting him the moment he set his eyes on the head of Baishe. Fei Long was often an arm's length away but always forbidden to touch. He had envied Tao for the privilege to be so close to his master. He was fiercely jealous of Mikhail Arbatov for being allowed to touch that perfect skin.

But now his master was lying deep asleep right in front of him, temping him to fulfill his heart's desire. He reached out to grasp a lock of hair in his hand. His master's hair that seemed as smooth as silk from a distant proved even finer than silk and smelled sweeter than anything he'd ever experience.

Yoh rubbed the back of his hand on Fei's delicate face that looked so peaceful in his sleep. Those incredibly long lashes made him more beautiful than the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. How many times had he dreamt of kissing those luscious lips? It was a dream he dared not pursue for seven years. But today he felt the need to taste the forbidden fruit even though it could cost him his life. He kissed those lips as softly as he could, knowing it could be the last time he'd ever get to taste them should his master awoke. His hand caressed the skin exposed from the loosened silk robe from his neck to his torso as he pressed his lips on that beautiful body. For once, a small part of his dream came true.

"That's enough, Yoh."

Yoh opened his eyes swiftly and saw his master staring at him with his usual cold, empty expression. He quickly removed himself from the bed and stood still, waiting for Fei Long to decide his fate.

He had expected his master to strike him down. But there were no anger in his expression, not even surprise. Fei Long was in complete control of himself and unexpectedly calm, too calm.

"You were awake?" Yoh felt the need to break the silence.

"Long enough." He rose from the bed and walked right pass him as if nothing had happened.

"Yet you let me touch you?"

Yoh's words made him pause by the doorframe and turned around to look right in his eyes. He raked his hand through his long black hair to remove them from his face but didn't seem to care about tightening his robe that was becoming loose.

"Isn't that what you wanted? To touch me?"

He just stood there, leaning on his back with his sleeve hanging off his shoulder. His silk robe parted open from just under his hips, revealing in full view, his long, elegant thigh so impossibly smooth. With Fei Long it wasn't just his perfect body or that beautiful face that made him so appealing. The way he carried himself, moved, walked, or talked made him truly irresistible. Seeing him in that posture, with that much of his skin exposed made Yoh swallowed hard.

His master knew exactly how to punish him. Instead of killing him as anyone in his position would have, Fei Long had chosen to torture him with a vision of what could never be his. He didn't have to say it to get it across.

Take a good look at what you may never have.

 

Yoh closed his eyes and spoke in almost a whisper, "You knew."

"I've always known, Yoh."

"And you kept me close until this day?"

"You have been loyal to me. So long as you stay loyal, I will keep you close."

Yoh smiled to himself. If there was anyone crueler than his master, it had to be the devil himself. "I would rather have you dismiss me. That would be kind."

"You will stay by my side as you always have and I shall forget this ever happened. But touch me again without my permission, and I will make sure you suffer before you die."

His expression told Yoh he was not joking. He knew what his master was capable of. After all, this man was not just someone who was trained to kill. This man was the renowned leader of the largest and most powerful organized crime family in all Hong Kong and possibly China. Liu Fei Long didn't get where he was with empty threats, nor by being kind.

"You may leave now and tell Tao to come and help me get dressed."

Feilong stood still as Yoh left the suite in silence. He did not want to hurt Yoh but it was necessary. For seven years he had known his true feelings but he never once thought Yoh would go this far. For seven years he trusted this man with his life. Now that trust had been damaged. Now he will have to distant himself from Yoh.

Under the circumstances he should have dismissed him completely. But there was no one else to replace Yoh, no one with the same loyalty and devotion. He had no choice but to be cruel. It was either that or he would not survive in the world he lived in.

Fei Long smiled at himself in pity. Every time he wanted to trust someone it would always come back to hurt him, for this reason he had learnt not to trust and appeared heartless to the world. Now he was forced to hurt someone who would willingly die for him. No matter how much the matter tore at his heart, Yoh would never understand. No one ever could, and no one ever will.

Tao knocked a few times before popping his head through the door. Fei Long lifted his eyes and smiled, "Come in, Tao."

"Fei-sama, have you taken a shower?"

"Yes, Tao. We should get started. I don't want to be late." He sat down in front of the mirror as Tao picked up a comb to smooth out his hair.

"What would you be wearing tonight, Fei-sama?"

"Did you bring my gold Cheong Sum?"

"The new one? Of course. I have been looking forward to see you in it Fei-sama. It's very beautiful." Once again Tao had read his mind. Fei Long smiled tenderly at the boy. At least he had Tao who loved him dearly. That should be enough.

But is it?

 

***

The Forbidden City, Beijing

The night sky was pitch black with nothing but the full moon hovering just above the palace roof. Mikhail stood in front of the lavishly decorated 'Palace of Heavenly Purity,' admiring the lights from hundreds of red lanterns. He had been inside the Forbidden City a couple of times but tonight the palaces came alive. It was no doubt a truly stunning setting for Turandot. Even without Fei Long as the issue he would have regretted not seeing this.

Fei Long. Mikhail smiled to himself when he thought of that name. After they had dinner together in his suite, he had left to get ready for the opera and promised to meet him here. He thought of Fei in his priceless Cheongsum walking gracefully through the palaces of the Forbidden City. It had to be a sight one never forgets.

As he heard a commotion behind him he turned around and looked at the steps leading down to the courtyard where he was. Five men in black suits who appeared to be bodyguards paved their way through the crowd for one man and a small boy.

Upon those majestic steps stood a tall figure in glittering gold Cheongsum with twin dragon embroidery that spread from his chest down to his thighs. The subtle shade of gold complimented the yellow accent of his skin tone and made that perfect face glow with such profound beauty. The way he descended from those steps with pride matched only by an emperor demanded attention from all who stood before him.

Mikhail stood still as a rock, stunned at the sight of the one man who possessed his heart. He had imagined Fei to be breathtakingly beautiful in such environment. But in the presence of Fei Long, the lavishly decorated palace seemed dull and undeserving of his beauty.

Mikhail drew his breath as Fei came closer. After all the sins he had committed 'till this day, he must have done something good to deserve this.

"Stop staring at me, Mikhail. And close your mouth." Fei Long frowned at those baby blue eyes that stared at him so openly without shame as he stepped in front of Mikhail.

Mikhail smiled tenderly in admiration as he reached his arm around Fei's waist and leaned forward until their cheeks brushed.

"I have lost the ability to take my eyes off you a long time ago, but even more so tonight." He whispered, brushing his lips on the delicate cheek. "You could kill somebody wearing that Cheongsum if you're not careful."

"Perhaps I'll start with you." Fei Long's eyes grew cold. "Hands off, Mikhail. I can be deadly enough without guns."

Mikhail promptly took a step back and let go of Fei Long. His princess was not in a good mood. He'd better not contribute to that frustration.

"I was certain I left you in a good mood today. What's troubling you?"

"I'm in a perfectly good mood, thank you."

"You've been holding your breaths."

Fei Long looked at Mikhail in curiosity as he heard the comment. "What?"

"You do that when something troubles you."

"That is not true." He looked at Tao for confirmation. Surely if someone really knew his habit, it had to be Tao.

The boy smiled back reluctantly, "You do, Fei-sama."

Mikhail placed his hand on Tao's head and smiled. "See? He's cute. You have yet to introduce me to this little friend of yours."

Fei rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. "Tao is my valet. Tao, say hello to Mr. Arbatov."

"Good evening Mr. Arbatov." He gave Mikhail a slight bow, showing his sincere respect for the tall, blond man in front of him who seemed to be his master's new 'friend'.

"So, you're the lucky boy who has full access to Fei-sama's private quarters? I'm jealous." He leaned forward and talked to Tao in almost a whisper.

"Tao, if you want to walk around to see the palaces, you can. I'll meet you at our seats when it begins." He had better get Tao away from Mikhail. Who knows what he'd dare say in front of a twelve year-old.

As always, Tao knew what his master wanted and left their sight.

"How about us, love? Shall we take a walk?" Mikhail offered him his arm.

Fei frowned at him in disgust. "I'm not your girlfriend, Mikhail. If you don't stop trying to pass me as one you may not have my company."

Mikhail smiled tenderly but with a slight sadness in his eyes that made Fei a little guilty. "I forgot how much you care about what other people think."

"A man in my position needs to be feared and respected." He felt obligated to explain himself. It wasn't fair to take things out on Mikhail.

"You can care about someone and still be feared and respected, Fei Long." Mikhail said with a faint smile on his face. There was no mockery in his voice. Mikhail was in a strange mood tonight. He spoke with absolute sincerity and tenderness that made Fei's heart sank.

Perhaps it was the trouble in his heart regarding Yoh that made him reach out for that arm. Or perhaps it was the way Mikhail looked that night with his golden locks glowing under the moonlight and his eyes that seemed an even deeper shade of blue that had soften his heart a little.

"Let's take a walk." Fei touched the back of Mikhail's arm and walked by his side.

Fei Long didn't cling to him as a lover would. He kept his body at a distance, hanging on to Mikhail with only the tip of his fingers as they walked through the palaces. It was more than enough to please Mikhail. At least Fei was beginning to give in.

The pathway narrowed as they walked towards a small courtyard. Mikhail suddenly realized the crowd around them had disappeared.

"It's the concubines' living quarter," Fei pointed out, "insignificant in comparison to the other palaces, though I find it strangely relaxing."

He let go of Mikhail's arm and walked through the beautiful garden by himself. Knowing he needed time alone, Mikhail walked behind him at a distance. He knew he was right about what he has said before, something was troubling Fei quite deeply. Even though he was dying to know, it was not for him to press on the matter. It was for Fei to decide when he would take that step and open his heart.

Fei Long paused by the peach blossom and reached out to touch one of its branches. He turned his face slightly towards Mikhail with a look of indecision. Mikhail looked straight back into those amethyst eyes, waiting for Fei to make up his mind.

"Do you trust your people, Mikhail?" Fei Long finally asked in a whisper.

"I trust my judgment." As always, Mikhail answered in total confidence.

"Have you ever failed?"

"Too many times, Fei."

"Yet you trust."

"Success is meaningless, Fei Long. It's when you fail that you learn to become great." Mikhail stepped closer and admired the beautiful face in front of him "I wouldn't be where I am now without my failures."

"It doesn't discourage you?"

"I don't spend my life worrying that something might happen, Fei. Because then nothing ever will."

Mikhail leaned forward and ran his hand gently down Fei's face. “I may laugh a little too much, trust a little too soon, and love like there's no tomorrow. But I call that living, and living at its best."

If there was one thing truly remarkable about Mikhail, it had to be his unwavering spirit. He wouldn't be considered drop-dead gorgeous in his appearance, but his presence exuded charisma in all the meanings of the word.

Fei Long reached out and held Mikhail's face in his hands. He needed someone strong enough to help him out of this darkness, someone who would not give up on him so easily. If there was such a person who possessed that kind of stamina, it was Mikhail Arbatov.

"Kiss me." Fei Long demanded, brushing his lips lightly on Mikhail's.

A tender smile swept across Mikhail's face before he pressed his lips onto Fei's. It was gentle, delicate like the silk of Fei Long's hair, sweet like fine honey, and soft like Fei's flawless skin. Under the glowing full moon, they kissed as if it was their first time. Something happened that night, something no words could describe and none need be spoken. What they had been searching for all their lives were right in front of them. For once they were exactly where they were meant to be, in each other's arms.

"One day I think I'd die because of you." Mikhail said softly.

"Not without my permission, you wouldn't, you big bear." Fei Long teased.

"Do. Not. Call me that!" Mikhail frowned.

"What? Mishka*? It's cute. It becomes you." Fei giggled softly.

"Fei Long, don't you dare!"

"Oh, don't be mad. I used to love teddy bears when I was young."

Mikhail grabbed him by the waist and pulled him close. "Hmm? And how about now?"

"Maybe." He smiled before taking Mikhail's arm. "C'mon, I need a drink."

The banquet was held in the main courtyard. The opening night gala was an exclusive event. Only the finest wines and champagnes were to be served to distinguished guests that consisted of sponsors, politicians, royalties, celebrities, and just about everyone who's anyone from all over the world.

Being the head of Baishe, it was customary for Fei Long to be greeted by endless numbers of people who needed to show their allegiance. For a man of only twenty-eight, Fei Long had incredible discipline. He managed to carriy himself elegantly at all times as he was being sucked up to by enough people to make Mikhail felt intensely nauseous.

"Remind me to never accompany you to a social event ever again." Mikhail complained. His expression showed he was truly frustrated. It wasn't just those who did it for business, it was all those eyes ogling on Fei that made him uncomfortable. Fei would be very pissed to know this, but he was becoming possessive.

Fei Long just laughed. "You'll get used to it. I do this everyday."

"Is it really necessary?"

He nodded. "It's the Chinese way. You need to learn this to run your business smoothly in Macau."

Fei Long's eyes suddenly widened as he looked over Mikhail's shoulder. His face showed an expression of pure horror, one similar to that night in his penthouse when they first kissed but ten times more intense. This time his face turned deadly pale, his breathing unstable. Fei Long stood absolutely still as if his soul had just left his body. There was only one person on earth who could have disturbed Liu Fei Long so intensely.

"Asami-san." Mikhail froze as he heard someone called out the name he'd long dreaded and confirmed his fear.

 

***

 

*Mishka = Little bear in Russian

 

P.S. I finally think it’s time to throw Asami into the picture. So from now on I’ll be torturing Fei on top of molesting him (poor thing). XDDDD *runs away*  



	5. Chapter 5

There he was, in his black suit with hands in his pockets and a cigarette in his mouth. Mikhail didn't have to know Asami Ryuuichi to recognize him in an instant. There was only one man among that crowd extraordinary enough to possess someone like Fei Long. He was uncommonly tall for a Japanese, very masculine, and heavily built but not at all bulky. His eyes were intense with true golden shade of brown. His cheekbones were prominent like those of a Caucasian's but with skin a light shade of honey rather than yellow. He had to admit, the man was a Greek god in the flesh.

Asami hadn’t noticed them, he was busy talking to some girls in the crowd. Mikhail turned back swiftly as he remembered Fei was still right behind him and gasped in horror. The wine glass had been crushed into pieces in the palm of his hand. Stream of blood was dripping down his sleeve and stained on his golden Cheongsam.

Fei Long was shaking beyond control. His eyes became terrifyingly cold, something Mikhail had never seen before and wished to God he would never have to see again.

"My God...Fei.." Mikhail exclaimed as he tried to pry open Fei's fingers from the broken glass. "Fei Long! Let go!"

Despite all his efforts, Fei Long didn't seem to hear a single word he said. Those elegant fingers covered entirely in blood clenched into a tight fist, driving the broken glass further into his injured hand. If Fei couldn't even feel the pain in his palm, he probably couldn't hear anything.

He grabbed Fei's arm and dragged him away from the crowd into a quiet pathway. Fei Long was losing himself, and he wasn't going to let people see him in that state, especially not that bastard.

Even when Asami was no longer in their sight, Fei's eyes, still horribly cold, gazed into the empty space in front of him as if the man was still right there. Mikhail's heart was pounding relentlessly in anger as he saw what Fei was going through. The sight of his precious dragon breaking down because of another man not only wounded his pride, it was heartbreakingly painful. He never thought he could feel so small and insignificant in Fei Long's eyes. In that man's presence, he clearly was.

"God damn it, Fei Long!" Mikhail could no longer control himself, he punched Fei in the face and knocked him right on the floor. He never thought he could hurt Fei physically, but there was no other way to bring him back.

Fei Long kept his eyes down, his long black hair fell disorderly around his face, making it impossible to see his expression. Mikhail pulled him up swiftly and shoved him hard against the wall.

"Look at me! Damn it! Fei! Snap out of it!" He shouted in anger.

Fei Long slowly lifted his face up and looked at Mikhail. It was difficult to tell his emotion. The anger was still there, but now a trace of sadness, and perhaps a little bit of longing filled those amethyst eyes. A few seconds later he lowered his head and looked at his injured hand as he started to feel the pain.

"Just let it go, Fei." Mikhail lowered his voice and spoke slowly. "Let it go."

He gradually opened his palm and let the broken glass slipped off his hand, then he rested his forehead on Mikhail's shoulder, seeking comfort from the warmth of that body.

"Take me away from here."

 

 

***

 

Fei Long twitched a little when the doctor carefully removed the pieces of broken glass from his palm. His hand was cut so severely it had taken ten stitches to patch it up. Tao was going to be so worried when he knew this. It was a good thing he didn't bring Tao along to the hospital for he was in no condition to comfort anyone.

He stepped out of the operation room and found Mikhail waiting outside the door with a cigarette in his hand. The curls of his blond hair fell disorderly around his slightly paled face that showed fatigue. Fei Long could tell Mikhail knew of his presence, though he kept his eyes on the empty space in front of him, drowning in his own thoughts.

"I didn't know you smoke."

"Occasionally."

Mikhail was agitated. Fei was sure. His short response and lack of conversation made it apparent.

"Tao?"

"I took care of it. He's already at the hotel." He answered wearily then looked down at Fei's injured hand.

"Ten stitches. No training for one month." Fei explained.

His eyes traveled up to study Fei's face. Those blue eyes seemed almost empty. "How are you?"

"I need a rest."

He nodded. "I'll take you back to your suite."

A black limousine was waiting out front. For the first time Mikhail walked ahead of him, not by his side as usual. No words of comfort were spoken. Not even eye contact. They stepped inside the limo and sat opposite to each other quietly, each staring out the window.

Mikhail was lost in his thoughts. A few hours ago he had Fei Long in his arms, ready to open his heart and come out of hiding. At least that's what he thought he had accomplished. But who was he kidding? That Japanese man had more than just an influence on Fei's mental state, he had a place in Fei's heart. It wasn't just anger he saw in those eyes, it was much more than that. If seven years of not seeing each other did nothing to erase him from Fei's heart, then how long was it going to take for him to replace that man? His pride was telling him to walk away, and he had more than enough reasons to do so.

But could he?

The car stopped at the entrance. Fei Long sat still and looked at Mikhail who didn't seem like he was going to step out of the car. In a night like this he usually seeks solitude. But tonight he preferred not to.

Mikhail looked back into those eyes, trying to decide his best course of action. The wise thing would be to walk away now and never look back. But in his heart he knew just one word from Fei would make him stay.

"Ask me." Mikhail said in a firm, low voice.

Ask me to stay...Show me you care even just a little.

Fei Long looked at him quietly for a while. It was not in his nature to beg. But at that moment he had a feeling if he didn't Mikhail would walk. To his surprise he didn't want that to happen. There was a certain comfort he felt when he's with Mikhail. Something similar to the way he felt with Tao, yet stronger, deeper. It was rare for him to feel this way with someone. Still, his pride made it nearly impossible for him to utter those words.

"Stay." He finally forced the word through his teeth. It was more a command than a request, but that was all he could offer.

"Why?" Mikhail wondered if he could push Fei further.

Fei Long swung the door opened and stepped out swiftly in frustration. As if what he just did wasn't pride-swallowing enough, the bastard had the nerve to ask for more.

Mikhail smiled to himself as he exited the limo and followed Fei into the lobby. He knew it was much too soon to make Fei Long admitted he needed him. But it didn't hurt to try.

 

***

 

The elevator opened to reveal Yoh waiting in front of the suite. His eyes grew fierce when he saw Mikhail behind his master, but when he noticed the bandage on Fei Long's hand he was too concerned to worry about the Russian.

"Fei Long-sama. Your hand..." Yoh spoke worriedly.

Fei Long gave him an icy glare and spoke firmly before entering his suite, "It's nothing you should be concerned with. You may retire for the night."

Mikhail took a glance at Yoh whose eyes were still on his master's elegant figure. From his information on Fei Long, he knew Yoh was his most trusted bodyguard who had been with him for years. He used to think Fei was fortunate to have such a loyal subordinate. But something in the way Yoh looked at his master tonight made him question the roots of his loyalty. The longing in those eyes bothered him.

Mikhail entered the suite and sighed heavily as he took off his jacket. As if there wasn't enough things to worry about already. Why did everything around Liu Fei Long screamed trouble?

"I need a drink." Mikhail said wearily. Cigarettes, drinks, what's next? Opium? Coke? He hardly ever needed these stuffs to calm himself. To rely on them was a sign of weakness. To let himself be addicted to anything even something as harmless as cigarettes was unacceptable to Mikhail. He was much too strong for that. But now he found himself helplessly addicted to the most poisonous drug of all, the drug by the name of Liu Fei Long. And it was starting to ruin his way of life.

"There's a mini bar in the dining room. Knock yourself out. I'm going to take a shower." Fei Long said before he disappeared into the bathroom. He couldn't wait to get all the blood off him. It reminded him too much of the past.

Just moments later Mikhail heard him call his name. He walked over and opened the bathroom door.

Fei Long was still in his Cheongsam. He looked at Mikhail with a trace of embarrassment on his face, though still holding himself regally.

"I can't undo this with one hand."

Mikhail smiled gently as he walked over to the Jacuzzi and started filling it with warm water. "You can't take a shower either. A bath, maybe."

When he had finished adjusting the valves he walked back and stood in front of Fei Long, slowly unbuttoning the golden Cheongsam.

Even after going through such a terrible event, Fei Long was still strikingly beautiful. There was something very erotic about being given the privilege to undress him. Mikhail couldn't help touching the unbelievably soft skin underneath the silk as he parted it open. No matter how many times he'd seen it, Fei Long's naked body could always excite him.

"It wasn't an invitation for sex, Mikhail." Fei Long warned him wearily.

"Curse yourself for being so damn beautiful." He whispered as he pressed his lips on Fei's exposed skin. The bite marks from that afternoon had turned purple, but instead of putting him off, they aroused him even more. It reminded him of the pleasure he felt earlier that day. These marks were his, and so was Fei.

Mikhail made his way down Fei's chest, kissing the marks he previously made, drowning in his own desire. Suddenly he paused and stared intensely at Fei's partially naked body.

"These are not mine."

The comment startled Fei. Did Yoh leave a few marks? He had thought they were all Mikhail's.

Mikhail saw the expression on his face and knew instantly. An uncontrollable anger rose rapidly in his chest that made him reach out for that elegant neck.

"WHO touched you?!" Mikhail spoke through his teeth furiously as Fei tried to pry open the hands that was squeezing the life out of him. Fei Long had never seen him so angry. If Mikhail could tear him apart he believed he would. Only when he started to choke badly that Mikhail recollected and released his grip.

Still shaking with anger, he grabbed and pulled at Fei's hair violently. "Speak!"

Fei Long bit his lips and cursed himself in his head. It was stupid to ask Mikhail to stay. How could he have let this happened? If Mikhail found out, Yoh would not live through the night. He wasn’t ready to lose Yoh.

"You will tell me this instant or I swear to God..!" Mikhail was yelling now. Fei's silence had intensified his fury. An uncontrollable fire in his chest was making it difficult for him to breathe or think properly. He knew he was being rash but it was impossible to stop. Not until he had killed someone.

Fei Long looked straight into those eyes and found himself almost equally pissed at his words. He could understand Mikhail's jealous rage, but if he thought he could threaten the head of Baishe into submission he'd better think again.

"Don't EVER threaten me, Mikhail." He spoke firmly through his clenched teeth with a voice that told Mikhail he was far from afraid. " I don't have to tell you anything. If you think by fucking me once or twice gives you the right to invade my privacy, you're dead wrong."

For a moment there he thought Mikhail was going to strike him down. At least the anger in those eyes told him he could. Instead Mikhail just stood there and stared at him. As the fire in those eyes subsided Fei Long could see a trace of disappointment in his face. He raked his hand through his curly locks and sighed heavily. "I don't even know what I'm doing with you anymore, Fei Long. I really don't."

Mikhail walked away into the living room and picked up his jacket. Fei Long might as well drive a blade through his chest. All his life he had never felt such pain in his heart. What the hell did he get himself into? Why did he even bother?

"I didn't sleep with him." That silky smooth voice sounded behind him.

Mikhail took a glance back at Fei who was now standing in the hallway. "I don't care."

"You wanted me to trust you. Now you trust me." Fei Long demanded. He knew he had wronged Mikhail by his harsh words spoken out of rage. Yet it wasn't in his nature to apologize or beg for forgiveness. It was who he was, and Mikhail should already know.

His eyes narrowed as he lifted up his chin. "I won't beg, and you know it."

Still trying to control the anger in his chest, Mikhail paused and turned around slowly to meet those amethyst eyes. "I won't let you play me."

"I am not playing you." Fei Long spoke with absolute sincerity. "You have my word as the head of Baishe. If that's not good enough for you then go ahead and walk out that door."

Mikhail threw his jacket on the couch and sat down, his eyes still gazed intensely at  
Fei Long, demanding the truth. "His name, Fei Long. I still need to know."

"I can't tell you. You'll kill him."

"You're God damn right I will!"

"He has his uses." Fei tried to choose his words wisely so as not to infuriate Mikhail any further.

"And for that you let him touch you?"

"I was asleep. It wasn't in my control."

Mikhail narrowed his eyes as thoughts raced through his head. Who could have gotten through the security and went into Fei's bedroom unnoticed? It had to be his own people, someone close, someone important to Fei Long who desired him in that way. Only one name came to mind.

"Yoh?" He looked at Fei for confirmation.

His expression must have given it away. Before he could utter a word, Mikhail grabbed his gun and rose quickly from the couch.

"Where the fuck is he? I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!"

Fei Long stood firmly in his way. "I can't let you do that, Mikhail."

Mikhail looked deeply into those eyes and knew he meant it. Fei Long had no intention of backing down and was prepared to do anything to stop him. At that he surely would succeed. Not just because of that deadly martial arts skills he possessed, but because Mikhail could never shoot him back. All that remained for him to do, was to try to control his anger and to listen to what he had to say.

"Do this for me. Just this once and I'll make it up to you."

Mikhail slowly raised Fei's chin with the tip of his gun as he considered the proposal. "You? Make it up to me?"

"You have my word." He didn't believe what he was saying to save Yoh's ass. That bodyguard of his had better stayed loyal or else he would take so much pleasure in gutting him alive.

Mikhail narrowed his eyes as he spoke firmly. "Fine! Tonight you're mine, and you will do as I say."

It was so like Mikhail to say something like that. At least he's back to the same Mikhail he knew.

Fei Long tried to swallow his pride and nod unwillingly. "I'll try."

Those strong hands grabbed Fei's waist and pulled him close. "I want to hear you say it."

Suddenly he had second thoughts about Yoh's usefulness. He tried not to imagine what else would Mikhail have him do. Fei long rolled his eyes and looked away as he spoke as quietly as he could, "Tonight I'm yours, and I will do as you say."

Even spoken out of obligation, that had to be the sweetest sound he'd ever heard. If Fei Long ever knew how those words had the power to send him on his knees and had him surrendered helplessly at his feet he'd be in serious trouble.

Mikhail dropped his gun and kissed him passionately. He could never grow tired of kissing those lips. The taste of Fei Long was literally delicious. Each time he tasted it he found himself wanting more. Each time he touched that skin he was lost in his own desire.

Fei Long let out a soft moan as Mikhail slipped off his Cheongsam and circled his tongue around those perfectly pink nipples. He couldn't help but cursed himself in his mind. How was it possible that Mikhail always knew exactly how to touch him at the right spot with just the right pressure, making it harder for him to refuse each time they were together?

Mikhail moved back up to kiss him again gently. Then he broke free and caressed Fei's lips with his fingers. His body shivered as Fei accepted them in his mouth, wrapping them with his tongue. Suddenly Mikhail wanted more. And he was going to get more.

"Please me." He whispered.

Fei Long smiled deviously. "You man enough for that?"

"Try me."

Fei Long tore open his shirt and dragged his fingernails lightly on his chest. He could feel Mikhail's body trembling with each touch.

"Ahhhh....." Mikhail moaned as Fei took his nipple in his mouth and nibbled it. He moved on to undo Mikhail's trousers and wrapped his hand around the growing erection.

"Hard already?" Fei teased as he moved back up to look at Mikhail's face.

Mikhail laughed in his throat at the comment, trailing his fingers down Fei’s cheek. "Why are you surprised? I'm always ready to fuck you, Fei Long." Only Mikhail could say something like that without shame. Although he had to admit those words made him equally hard.

"Think you'll get that far before you come?" Fei teased.

Mikhail kissed him hard and smiled devilishly, "What are you worrying about, sweetheart? I'm not going anywhere."

Fei Long kissed him back for a moment before making his way down on his knees. He jerked violently as Fei took him in his mouth. If there's such a thing as heaven on earth this had to be it. Those luscious lips, wet, and warm around his erection. His beautiful Fei Long, on his knees, pleasing him, driving him to the edge of madness. Could a man ever ask for more?

Fei Long could feel Mikhail's hands tightened around his hair, pulling it hard each time he moved. It must be close. He suddenly stopped and rose quickly on his feet. As if Mikhail could read his mind, he gave him a kiss and untied the strings on Fei's silk pants, letting it slipped down on the floor. To his surprise, Fei Long pushed him back on the couch and kneeled on top of him. He grabbed Mikhail's golden locks and pulled it back hard, forcing him to look up and meet his eyes. "Ready for the ride of your life, Mikhail Arbatov?"

"Always." Mikhail held him by the side of his hips as he pushed himself in. Fei Long dug his fingernails into Mikhail’s shoulder as he cried out the sound of pure pleasure. His long black hair fell on Mikhail's body each time he moved, brushing his face and arousing him beyond control. He felt hungry for that perfect skin and stole a few kisses every time Fei moved close enough. The look of ecstasy on Fei's beautiful face when he wrapped his hand around and stroke his erection could have made him come right then and there. Mikhail clenched his teeth as he tried to delay his climax. He didn't want it to end. He wanted Fei to be there forever, so close to him, with arms wrapped around his neck, making love to him with that look of intense pleasure on his face, the pleasure of being in his arms. When he could hold back no longer, he made sure Fei came before he did.

Fei Long rested his head on Mikhail's shoulder and tried to catch his breath. Mikhail cupped his hands around Fei's face and whispered softly in his ears before stealing himself another kiss.

"My beautiful dragon. Mine."

 

***

 

Asami stood by the window in his hotel suite, looking out into the night sky with a glass of whiskey in his hand and a cigarette between his fingers. It was the first time in seven years that he had seen Fei Long. Even though they hadn't talked, and Fei didn't seem to notice him in the crowd, Asami could see the change in him.

He closed his eyes and tried to recall his memory. The beautiful jet-black hair that used to fall below his waist now stopped in the middle of his back, making that slender figure seemed taller than before. Those amethyst eyes now showed wisdom, strength, and ferocity. The inexperienced and troubled young man with a pretty face he knew seven years ago had grown into a man so breathtakingly beautiful beyond his expectations. Fei Long radiated unequalled intelligence, confidence and supremacy, a true dragon more than fit to rule over Baishe.

Asami had to admit he was more than impressed, he was proud. Fei Long had turned out to be a masterpiece. A smile swept across his face as he thought of that elegant figure. If only they had never met before and none of those terrible events had happened between them, Fei Long would be on his bed right now, right here, in his arms. He would have made sure of it.

Suddenly something reminded him about the man he was with. Asami quickly reached for his cell phone and speed dialed the one man who could put an end to his curiosity.

The call was picked up immediately.

"It's me. Can you talk?" He had to make sure.

"Yes, Asami-sama."

"I just saw Fei Long at the Forbidden City. He was there with someone, a foreigner."

"Must be Mikhail Arbatov."

Asami paused in shock to hear the familiar name. "What the hell is he doing with a Russian mafia?"

"I believe they're together."

"And when were you planning to tell me this?"

"I didn't think it was significant."

Asami took a deep breath and raised his voice in anger. "I don't give a damn if he wants to fuck some boys he picked up off the streets, but the moment he starts having dates with mafias, and I don't care if it's Russian, Italian or some insignificant eastern European country, I want to be informed immediately. Understood?"

"I understand, Asami-sama."

He sighed heavily as he hung up the phone. It's too dangerous to get involved with someone so powerful. Fei Long should know better. And not just that, of all the mafias in the world, why Mikhail Arbatov? Everyone knew the young Russian mafia had a strong reputation for being irrational and unpredictable which made him dangerous to do business with, and far more dangerous to get involved with emotionally.

He gulped down the rest of the drink in his hand, trying to suppress the still disturbing memory. Seven years ago he tried to make Fei Long the head of Baishe. At that he didn't fail, but he couldn't say he succeeded either. On top of getting shot and almost killed, Fei Long had lost both his fathers and his brother in one night because of his interference. He didn't just make Fei the head of Baishe, he turned an unwanted, illegitimate child into an orphan. Even for someone as cold-hearted as he was, something like that had to remain on his conscience. Even now he couldn't help feeling responsible for Fei Long. And this matter with Mikhail Arbatov was making him worried and irritated.

'Irritated?' Asami couldn't help questioning his own thoughts. Worried, yes, but irritated? At what? Seeing Fei with someone? Seven years ago he decided to end that relationship for good and now he's irritated at the thought of Mikhail Arbatov touching Fei? He had no right to be possessive of Fei Long. Not after all these years. Not after what he'd done.

Asami lit another cigarette and filled his lungs with the smoke that could always help release some stress. He wouldn't be surprised if Fei Long hated him to death right now. If all that hatred would keep him alive and strong, then taking the blame would be the least he could do. But whether or not Fei really was as strong as he seemed, it was something he was determined to find out.

Perhaps it's about time to lure the dragon out of its lair.

 

 

***


	6. Chapter 6

The morning sun escaped through the gaps between the curtains and painted its yellow ray on the white linen of the bed. Mikhail opened his eyes slowly, blinking several times to adjust to the light. He pushed himself up and looked at the empty space on the opposite side of the bed. Empty? Was he dreaming again?

Fei Long had been in his dreams far too many times that it had become difficult to tell one from reality. It had been three weeks since they came back from Beijing. From then Fei Long had been accepting his invitations for a few lunches and dinners as well as his frequent visits to Baishe, sometimes letting him stay the night. He couldn’t help feeling amazed at himself. Usually after three weeks he should already be looking for someone new, but there he was, still having dreams about Fei Long in his arms.

Mikhail rose from the bed and reached for his robe. The yellow sunlight temporarily blinded him as he stumbled out into the living room of his Hong Kong penthouse. When his pupils had accustomed to the light, his vision revealed a slender figure at the bar. He was not dreaming. Fei Long was here, and still here, in his robe with his back turned to Mikhail, reading the newspaper.

A warm smile swept across his face as he approached his unaware lover quietly and bent over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "I could get used to this." He whispered, wrapping his arms around the elegant body.

Fei Long turned slightly to look at Mikhail with the usual expressionless face. "Get used to what exactly?"

"Waking up to see you here first thing in the morning."

Fei rolled his eyes and said wearily, "Oh, please. You're making me nauseas."

Just before Mikhail could respond, his cell phone rang. He released his arms around Fei and went for it. A trace of frustration appeared on his face as he saw the name on the screen. Alexei.

"You can take the call. I don't mind. He has been trying to call for the last half hour." Fei Long spoke in his usual tone, his eyes still fixed on the newspaper.

Mikhail pressed the hang up button before putting it back on the bar table and went to pour his coffee. "I don't need to take it."

"Old boyfriend trying to catch up with you?"

Mikhail choked violently on his coffee as he heard the remarks and started laughing. "The name is Alexei Arbatov. He's my younger brother."

The explanation got him to lower his newspaper and peeked through his long lashes. "You've never told me about having a brother."

"You’ve never talked about yours either." Mikhail looked straight into his eyes, demanding some form of answers. He was dying to find out what happened seven years ago, an information no one seemed to know no matter how hard he tried to dig it up, not in details anyway.

"My brother is dead. What is the point of talking about him?" Fei Long’s eyes grew instantly cold as he spoke. Your brother never tried to rape you.

Mikhail knew he was right, there was more to it than just the death of his family. Whatever Fei had been through, it had to be severely tragic to make it so hard for him to trust people. He knew now the real Fei Long was far from cold. All that emotions he had been trapping inside managed to escape several times when they made love. Fei Long does feel, and feels deeper and stronger than most people. Deep down inside he was very sensitive and extremely vulnerable. He had nightmares so intense his screams terrified Mikhail for days.

“The point being that I want to know, Fei.”

He finally put down his newspaper and sighed in frustration. “Seriously, Mikhail, I pick up your calls, I go out with you, and I let you fuck me whenever you want to. What more could you possibly accomplish by knowing things about my past?”

By now he had grown accustomed to Fei’s way of putting things harshly. Most of the time he didn’t mean a word of it. “Is it really not obvious to you? What I want?”

His heart ached when he saw the expression on Mikhail’s face. By now he no longer doubted the sincerity behind those words. But what Mikhail wanted was beyond his ability to give. At least not right now.

“Forget it.” Mikhail gave up. He was not ready. His silence told him so. “I don’t want to press you.”

Fei Long smiled to himself as he rose from the bar stool. He was glad Mikhail was able to understand. “I’m going to take a shower. I have to go back to Baishe for a meeting in an hour.”

“Fei.” Mikhail called him just before he disappeared through the door. “You free for lunch?”

Fei Long paused and turned around slightly. “Dinner, Mikhail, at Baishe.”

 

***

The phone rang four times before Boris decided to pick it up. He had already guessed who it was.

“Boris here.”

“Where the fuck is he?” The man on the line was yelling furiously.

“Calm down, Alexei. I know where he is.” Alexei’s foul mood meant he failed at reaching his brother.

“The reception is in a week. You make sure he gets his ass on the plane, you understand me, Boris?”

“You know if he doesn’t want to go then I can’t do anything about it. As far as I’m concerned your brother has no intention of leaving Hong Kong right now. I can’t even get him to come back to Macao.”

“What the fuck is he doing in Hong Kong?”

Boris sighed heavily. “You don’t want to know.”

Alexei paused for a second and gasped in frustration as he made a guess. “A woman?”

“Man.”

“Christ!……. How bad?”

“Bad.”

“Well, just kill the bastard and put Misha on a plane. You can at least do that, can’t you?”

“I can’t kill him, Alexei. It’s Liu Fei Long.”

Alexei was taken aback when he heard the name. “……as of Baishe?”

“as of Baishe. Look, I think you should come here and deal with it, Alexei. I’m not family.”

“I am not going to fly from Moscow to China and back just to pick him up. You do what you can, Boris, and let me know. I promise you, you DO NOT want to see me in Macao!”

Alexei slammed the phone in his ears. Boris sighed heavily as he thought of what to do. Mikhail had been avoiding all calls from him and from Alexei ever since he was told about the important reception his father was about to hold. Something about the reception had disturbed him greatly. He had a feeling his reaction had something to do with Fei Long which meant no force on earth or heaven could change his mind. Still he had to try to get Mikhail back to Moscow. Alexei sounded pissed. It was easier dealing with the older brother than the younger. In his usual mood, Alexei was already Mikhail intensified two times over, without reason and maturity. Alexei being pissed would be nothing short of a nightmare. He pulled out his cell phone and tried Mikhail again, praying that he would pick up.

Mikhail sat quietly on the sofa with a vibrating cell phone in his hand, deliberating whether he should take the call. For the first time in his life he didn't know what to do. The reception was happening in a week and he was running out of time to decide. His father wanted him back in Moscow but he knew exactly why without being told. Alexei had decided to come home after spending years abroad having the time of his life traveling and spending the family's fortune. Now that spoiled brat wanted a piece of the action. The one solution for his father to do was to hand over the family to him and put Alexei in charge of Macao instead. At any other times he would have jumped at this opportunity. Now with Fei Long in the picture it had become difficult for him to leave Hong Kong.

He knew with all that money to spend, it wasn't difficult to come and go as he pleases. But to carry on a long distance relationship when the relationship itself was already hanging by a thin thread was more than a bad idea. It was destined to fail.

The truth was, at this point he didn't mind giving it all to Alexei as long as he had Macao to himself. He wouldn't be any poorer than he is now, just not any richer, but he'd have Fei Long, and that would be enough for him. Though in reality, he was still far from 'having' Fei. Chances were that he'd be giving it all up for nothing.

He didn't want to press Fei Long into any commitment before he was ready, but it looked like he had no choice but to do just that. Perhaps this dinner at Baishe was the perfect time and place for a talk. He would wait for tonight, before making up his mind, before picking up any calls.

 

 

***

 

The room fell silent as Fei long looked up at his informer with an expression that made everyone wished they had not been at the meeting that day.

"What did you say?" His silky smooth voice sounded like a command for execution.

"It appears that the classified information we tried so hard to get had been stolen by Asami Ryuuichi. We are tracking down the man who took it as we speak, Liu Laoban." The man trembled as he spoke. He would not be surprised if he didn't leave that room alive today.

Fei Long grabbed the edge of his desk to catch his balance. He felt blood boiling in his veins as he heard the name. Thoughts raced through his head as he tried to make sense of the situation. Why would Asami do this? That information had nothing to do with him nor could he profit from it…. unless he wanted something from Baishe.

Fei Long froze completely as he realized that had to be the reason. Why else would he have made it so easy to trace? Asami was sending him a message, an invitation.

"Sir, I assure you we'll get that man very soon."

"Not if he's behind this, you wouldn't." It seemed like he was telling himself rather than his men. Once again all of Baishe saw what their master was made of. If he could breathe fire all of them would have been burned alive in that room.

"Yoh, get my plane ready. I'm going to Japan."

Yoh didn’t believe his ears when he heard the command. It was not like him to be so irrational.

“Now! Yoh!” He was growing impatient.

Once all had left the room Fei Long looked at the wound on his palm. It's about time he settled this once and for all.

 

***

 

Baishe headquarter in Japan was half the size of Hong Kong's, though richly decorated in Chinese style to perfectly measure up to its elegant master. Yoh stood uneasy outside the door to his master's bedroom. It was not like Fei Long to make a move on his own over something so minor. It had to be because of Asami Ryuuichi. But confronting Asami was never a good idea. He wondered if Fei Long knew what he was getting himself into.

As he thought about what to do, a bodyguard approached him and asked to see Fei Long. Yoh informed his master and let him inside.

"Liu Laoban. We have captured a boy who seems to be in possession of the disk. He is being interrogated at the moment."

Fei Long lifted his eyebrow in curiosity. "A boy? What is his relationship with Asami?"

"We are not sure about that, sir. He doesn't seem like someone who works under the yakuza. He's a little too young and inexperienced."

Fei Long paused for a little while to think. He had a hunch his men had captured someone important. "Take me to him."

The Japanese boy was hung from the ceiling by his wrists. Even though his face was bruised from the beatings Fei could still see the fine features of his face. The boy was really too young to be working for Asami, and too pretty for the job. He must be in his early twenties. The way he called Asami by his name alone indicated he was not inferior to the man. No. If anything, that boy looked like someone Asami would use to decorate his bed.

The thought of Asami enjoying himself with this boy had somehow accumulated his fury to the point of strangling someone. Why did he feel this way? Asami's betrayal to him had nothing to do with who he slept with. Yet he could not deny the anger that was rising in his chest. To think that Asami had walked out on him for just an ordinary boy with a pretty face drove him to the edge. Was he not good enough? What did that boy have that he didn’t?

Fei Long closed his eyes and cursed himself as he realized what he was thinking. How dare he compare himself to this boy? He was Liu Fei Long, the one and only leader of Baishe, with thousands of men at his feet, and the power to kill with just one word from his lips. He must not allow himself to be reduced to a pathetic fool acting out on a jealous rage over someone who couldn't even see him for the man he's worth. No, this was all about revenge. It had to be all about revenge.

First, he had to find out if he was right about the boy's relationship with Asami. Since the boy refused to talk, there was only one way to find out. It would be his pleasure to take such a fine-looking boy, and if he turned out to be Asami's pet, then he would just love to see Asami's face when he found out his pet had been used by another man. For someone with that amount of ego, it had to hurt like hell.

 

***

Fei Long stroke the soft, pink skin of the naked body on his lap. It had been a while since he had taken someone. There was no doubt the boy had managed to excite him. His fine skin was soft to the touch and those eyes, defiant to the very end, aroused him to a certain degree. But what really made him hard was the thought of seeing Asami's face twisted in anger. Every time the boy struggled against him he felt as if he was hurting Asami himself. To his eyes, the boy was bleeding Asami's blood. To his ears, he was screaming Asami's screams.

He placed the unconscious body on the sofa and rose to his feet, adjusting his unbuttoned Cheongsam a little to cover himself but left the buttons undone. He needed a rest. It had been a long day and the stress was draining him.

Fei Long opened the door and found Yoh standing outside the room. He felt a little uneasy seeing him there. Yoh could have had someone else guard the door but he didn’t. He must have heard everything. It was as if he wanted to be there, to remind himself of something. Sometimes Fei Long wasn’t sure who was crueler, him keeping Yoh by his side, or Yoh insisting on being there.

“Do you need something, Fei Long-Sama?” He asked with an expressionless face, something typical of Yoh.

“You didn’t have to be here, Yoh.”

“It was your wish to keep me close, remember?”

A faint smile appeared at the corner of his mouth. Only one man in Baishe would dare talk back to him that way. The strange thing was that he never seemed to mind. “Take the boy and keep him somewhere. From now I don’t want to be disturbed.”

When Yoh had left with the boy he slipped off his Cheongsam and changed into his silk robe, wearing nothing underneath like always. As he climbed up on the bed to sleep he suddenly sensed someone else’s presence.

“Yoh?” He called and started searching for his gun.

A shadow crept out from the dark corner of the room. Fei Long squinted and tried to make out the identity of his intruder. As the light touched that body his eyes widened and he gasped in terror.

“Asami!”

 

****

P.S. Asami x Fei anyone?? Perhaps, if I survive NT12, and if you guys are still with me.


	7. Chapter 7

Asami stood motionless in front of Fei Long as if to make sure he was fully recognized by the man, with hands in his pockets and a cigarette in his mouth. With Asami it was always hard to tell his feelings from his expressionless face, but that afternoon his golden eyes shone with such intense anger that immediately stirred Fei’s survival instinct before he could think of anything else.

Every inch of his body told him he was in danger.

He quickly leapt for the gun he had left on the table near his daybed. Asami caught his wrist with iron grip and knocked the gun onto the floor with his other hand. Fei Long spun around and kicked him hard on the chest, slamming him into the wall. He quickly went for the gun on the floor and aimed at his lifelong enemy.

Asami collected his breath and started laughing quietly. “You have grown stronger.”

His heart raced as he heard that voice again after seven years. He did his best to keep calm. What was Asami doing here? More importantly, how did he get in? When did he get in?

Fei’s eyes narrowed as he spoke in frustration. “How long have you been in here?”

“Long enough for you to start praying for your life.” Those eyes glowed as he spoke, telling the other man how serious his words were.

“May I remind you that I’m the one with a gun in my hand? Not that I need one to kill you, Asami. It was stupid to waltz in here unarmed.” He smirked.

Asami straightened himself and sneered at the remark. “What makes you think I’m unarmed?” He stepped closer to Fei Long steadily, like a lion closing in on its prey. “What makes you think I need one?”

Suddenly Fei felt defenseless. “Stay back!” He held the gun tighter as if to remind himself of its existence.

“Or what? If you were going to shoot me you would have done it seven years ago, Fei Long. You couldn’t pull the trigger then, you still can’t pull the trigger now.”

Fei was now trembling with anger, mostly at himself for not being able to pull the trigger like he said. Why was he so reluctant? What was he waiting for? What could he possibly want from Asami aside from his death?

“Originally I just wanted to lure you out to talk. You’ve crossed the line, Fei Long.”

A smile of satisfaction appeared at the corner of his mouth. He was right about that boy. Asami was pissed. “How could I resist? Your pet was kind of cute.” He spoke with his irritating silky voice that got on Asami’s nerve as he curled his hair around his finger seductively. “I wonder if you heard us. Were you here for that, Asami? Or should I tell you how he screamed?”

Asami lashed out for Fei’s throat, twisting the gun off his hand with the other then smashed him down on the daybed. He could no longer control his anger. Partly because of what Fei did to Takaba, but mostly because of his damaged ego. A lesson needed to be learnt. No one messes with Asami Ryuuichi, not even Fei Long.

It had been a while since he had seen Fei Long up close like this. Seven years had not aged him one bit. On the contrary, that youthful face he remembered so well had become even more striking, its features intensified to create an unrealistically beautiful face that took his breath away. Those brilliant amethyst eyes, still intensely ferocious, were deeper and wiser, tempting him to conquer the man underneath.

Fei’s silk robe had become loose from the constant struggle to free himself, revealing the flawless skin begging to be touched. For seven years he had secretly desired this body, but to him Fei Long was the beautiful flower that should never be plucked. A fantasy he couldn’t bring himself to make real. Fei was too precious to be conquered, too proud to be owned by anyone. Not without destroying the very thing that made him beautiful in the first place.

Yet now every inch of his body told him to fulfill his desire. That, and the uncontrollable rage in his chest had robbed him completely of his ability to resist such temptation. And Fei Long, if anything, was one hell of a temptation.

“Get the fuck off me!” Fei Long swore angrily through his clenched teeth as he tried to pry the strong hand off his neck. He felt weak against Asami, even though he knew he wasn’t physically weaker. Those golden eyes staring up and down his body had drained him of his strength.

“Get off you?” his breath quickened as Fei struggled harder. “Isn’t this what you wanted? For me to touch you? You’re pissed because I took that boy but I haven’t taken you.”

Deeply irritated by the insult, he stopped struggling and stared into those golden eyes. “Don’t kid yourself, you prick! What makes you think your gutless dick is good enough for me?” He didn’t want Asami. He was sure of it. For how could he? The man had robbed him of everything he held dear.

But why was his heart beating so fast? Why was it so difficult for him to breathe when he’s near?

“Well, let’s see about that, shall we?” Asami’s hand yanked the tie on that silk robe and pulled it free. He spun Fei around, forcing his face down on the daybed and bounded his wrists together so tight it had to leave a few marks for several days. Fei let out a short, painful cry as Asami grabbed his hair and jerked back his head violently.  
“I’ll show you what happens when you cross me, Fei Long. You’ll pay for what you did to Takaba. It’s your turn to feel his pain.” He whispered in Fei’s ear, his other hand traveled down to undo his zipper.

Even though Fei Long’s only perceivable sound was his heavy breathing, in his head he could hear himself shrieking, horrified at what was about to happen. For the first time in his life he felt like crying for help. If only someone was there to stop this he would not regretted doing so. It wasn’t the pain nor about being raped, it was the unimaginable shame of being taken by his life-long enemy, about his pride that would shatter into pieces, once again, by the hands of his old enemy.

He felt a sharp pain as Asami pushed himself in violently. Fei Long bit the throw pillow underneath him to keep from making a sound. No. He would not allow Asami to have that thrill. It was the least he could do.

As if Asami could read his thoughts, he felt the hand around his hair tightened as his head was yanked off the pillow. Asami leaned forward and spoke in his ear. “Cry for me, Fei Long. Let me hear you scream.”

Fei Long turned his head to look at Asami and spat in his face. “I will NEVER cry for you!”

He could feel Asami’s trembling body behind his back. The way he was breathing deep and hard told him he was beyond pissed at his response. Fei arched his back in pain and bit back his scream as Asami slammed into him harder and harder, each time tugging his hair with the force that was ripping him apart. At times he thought his body would break.

In the end something did break, but not his body. It was something much more precious to him than that. Something he would never get back and was impossible to mend.

No matter how much he had hurt Fei, not a single tear was shed. Not a sound escaped from his throat. Only blood seeped from where he had been damaged, and bruises appeared on parts of his body where they had been abused. It was completely different from when he had taken Takaba against his will. The boy struggled harder and responded to his touch through pain and pleasure without holding back. Taking Takaba fulfilled his desire without guilt. It was fun and immensely pleasurable. Taking Fei Long was something else entirely, something so intensely raw and heartbreaking. As much as it was pleasurable, it was painful.

Fei Long lied quietly on his face, breathing short, fast breaths but quietly. He had already stopped struggling a while before Asami released himself. That beautiful face partially hidden underneath the curtain of his long hair was like a painting. Fei Long’s naked body was a masterpiece, something any man would be proud to have conquered. Asami buried his face in the mass of that long hair and inhaled the sweet scent of Fei Long as he tried to catch his breath.

Seeing that Asami had released his grip Fei tried to shrug him off and rolled over on his side. Asami pushed back the long silk strands from Fei’s face and kissed him on those luscious lips for the second time in seven years. Suddenly he jerked back his head. Fei Long had bit him. Hard.

He raised his hand to wipe the blood off his lips as he looked into those resentful eyes and realized what he had done. Fei Long didn’t have to say a word to deliver his message. Those eyes grew lifelessly cold. So cold they sent a chill right down his back. What he just did had turned the man into someone else completely. Fei Long was empty. Like a beautiful doll that was alive for one purpose and one purpose only. Revenge.

“Fei Long, where is Takaba?” His tone softened a little.

“What makes you think I’d tell you anything?” That silky voice sounded as if nothing had happened, but those eyes were burning with flames of fury. “There’s nothing more you can do to me.”

Suddenly his cell phone rang. He had left it on the coffee table. Asami walked over slowly and took the phone in his hand.

“Oh I think there is, Fei.” He grinned as he saw the caller ID. Perfect timing. “Here comes your knight in shining armor.”

Fei Long felt like leaping out to snatch the phone from his hand but remain seated. Mikhail. He had forgotten to cancel that dinner. Suddenly he felt blood drained from his face. “Don’t.” It almost sounded like he was pleading. Almost.

“Where is Takaba?” Asami repeated, holding up the phone, threatening to pick up the call unless Fei gave him something.

Fei Long closed his eyes and tried to force out the words against his will, “Yoh….. my bodyguard…..took him.” If there was one more thing left in his life that he didn’t want to lose, it was Mikhail. He was willing to give up whatever pride he had left for the warmth of that embrace. He knew he needed Mikhail, now, more than ever.

A smile appeared at the corner of his mouth as Asami pressed the button and held the phone to his ears.

“No!” Fei Long closed his eyes and tried to suppress the intense pain in his heart when Asami spoke into the phone, purposely in Japanese.

“I don’t think Fei wants to talk right now.”

There was a long silence on the other side of the line before the question was finally asked,“…….Who are you?”

“Asami Ryuuichi.” He spoke slowly, making sure the name was heard loud and clear before hanging up the phone and tossed it onto Fei’s lap.

Fei Long swallowed hard. Asami Ryuuichi, the cruelest words to Mikhail’s ears. “Why?” He asked without looking up from the phone. Why must you take everything from me?

Asami lit his cigarette and proceeded to the door. Just before he left the room he turned around and left his remark. “Your relationship is too dangerous, Fei Long. You’ll thank me later for doing this.”

Fei Long sat still, staring at the phone on his lap. For some reason, he was trembling all over. Perhaps it was anger, or perhaps it was regret. Perhaps both. His mind was still blurred. He rose from the daybed slowly, wobbling through the pain that remained on his body, searching the room for something to cut himself free and finally found a knife in the drawer.

Once his hands were freed, he paused and looked at himself in the mirror. His long hair fell disorderly around his ghostly paled face. Severe bruises were apparent around his neck and his wrists. His hip bore the mark of Asami’s fingers that dug into his flesh as he repeatedly pushed himself in. He could still taste Asami’s blood in his mouth. Asami’s cigarette scent still lingered on his nose. Suddenly the whole incident replayed in his head and flooded him with such intense emotions that knocked him off balance. He felt as if something was stuck in his throat, keeping him from breathing while a powerful surge of pain was forcing its way up, ready to explode. Fei dragged himself off the cold floor and ran into the bathroom where he started vomiting until there was nothing left in his stomach.

All his life he’d never hated himself this much. He wanted to scrape off his skin where it had been touched. He wanted to crawl out of his tainted body. Most of all he wanted to cut out his heart that was beating fast as his long dreaded enemy took him.

Father… I’m not fit to be your son.

He looked down at his hand that was still holding the knife he had freed himself with. The thought of dragging the blade across his neck had flashed in his mind. But then he remembered who he was and threw the knife against the wall. He was the formidable leader of Baishe. He could not let himself be destroyed by one man.

Fei Long pushed himself up on his feet and breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down. He cleaned up and put on his Cheongsam before he went to pick up his gun and walked out the door looking for his enemy. He may still not be able to pull the trigger, but Asami needed to know it wasn’t going to end easily.

They were outside by the car when he found them. The boy was still naked, clad only in Asami’s jacket. Without hesitation he held out his gun and fired two warning shots in the direction of the boy. Asami reached for his gun and glared back at him.

“Fei Long!” He shouted in anger.

He looked straight back into those golden eyes, reminding his enemy the very man he was before he turned his back on him and walked away.

Remember my name. From now I make your life a living hell.

 

***


	8. Chapter 8

Mikhail arrived at Baishe at six in the afternoon. At this point he was allowed to walk in and out of Baishe as he pleased. Yet today he was stopped at the gate.

"Liu Laoban is not here today, Mr. Arbatov."

"I'll wait."

"I don't think he's coming back today. He's in Tokyo."

"Tokyo?” Mikhail didn't believe his ears. “What the hell is he doing in Tokyo?"

"I'm not allowed to give you that information, sir."

"When is he coming back?"

"He has not set a date for his return."

It was normal for Fei long to travel on such a short notice, but a man of his discipline would not fail to inform a missed appointment. This was different. He could feel it. Something wasn't right, especially if it’s Japan.

His heart raced as he reached for his cell phone and speed dialed Fei Long. The phone rang too many times before it was finally picked up. He found himself holding his breath when the voice on the other line was not the usual silky voice he so loved. Instead it was a low, throaty voice of a man speaking in Japanese.

"I don't think Fei wants to talk right now."

He felt his chest constricted as he heard those words. The mentioning of his name told Mikhail he didn't have the wrong number. But who would dare pick up Fei Long's cell phone for him? Who else was close enough to address him that way? He took one deep breath and asked the question he wasn't sure he'd want to hear the answer, "………Who are you?"

"Asami Ryuuichi."

Hearing that name sent a surge of pain up his chest. He felt as if his body had turned to stone. The man on the other line had already hung up, yet he could still hear that name echoing in his head over and over again.

For the first time in his life he wasn't sure what he felt. He should have been angry enough to kill someone but there was something else that was stronger than his anger boiling inside him, something so painful it made him feel completely powerless.

Deep down inside he knew what was happening. He had been given the answer to his question without having to ask. It couldn't have been clearer what he should do. Still, he couldn't bring himself to decide. He wanted to wait for Fei Long. He wanted to wait for a good explanation for this, even when he knew too well there wasn't one.

 

***

 

It was two in the morning. Rain poured down from the pitched black sky as if God had an intention to sink the whole island in one night. The raging sound of thunder could almost confirm it. Fei Long stepped down from his plane and into the black limousine that had been sent for him. Flying to Japan and back on the same day was something he had never done before. Together with everything that happened that day should have drained him completely of his energy. Yet he found it impossible to sleep. He should have stayed a few more nights in Tokyo to rest, but all he wanted was to get back to Hong Kong.

"Turn left here." He ordered.

"Sir?" The chauffer wasn't sure he heard correctly. He had been instructed to take the boss back to Baishe.

"I'm not going back to Baishe tonight."

The car stopped in front of a tall luxurious building. Fei Long stepped out quickly without waiting for the door to be opened for him. It was the only place he wanted to be right now. It didn’t matter whether or not Mikhail was there. He didn't want to be anywhere else except up there in that penthouse.

Fei Long paused for a second and punched in the security code to the elevator that Mikhail gave him a few days ago. He'd never thought he'd be using it, but somehow it remained in his memory.

The elevator opened directly into the penthouse living room. A familiar scent reached his nose and suddenly he could breathe. He didn't even know he had been holding his breaths. The room was completely dark. Fei Long sighed with a heavy heart. It seemed no one was there.

Just then the sky flashed with thunder and lit up the room for a split second. A tall figure appeared by the enormous glass window that overlooked the pool. He blinked several times to make sure what he saw was really there. As his eyes adjusted to the dark he knew he was not mistaken. Mikhail was there, standing in the dark with a drink in his hand, smoking a cigarette.

Fei Long stepped closer quietly. His heart almost stopped when Mikhail turned around to look at him. He acknowledged his presence and turned back to the window without saying a word.

Usually he would never do this, but every inch of his skin wanted to feel that warmth. Even when he knew he didn't deserve it he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to the one man who could have rescued him. He could feel Mikhail's body trembling underneath as he rested his forehead on the strong shoulder from behind and lingered there silently.

Mikhail closed his eyes and cursed himself in his mind. After all this time just the lightest touch from Fei Long could still make his heart beat relentlessly. After all that happened he still wanted nothing more than to turn around and hold that beautiful being in his arms. Fei Long had hurt him this much, and still he found it extremely hard to restrain himself from the man even when it was the most rational thing to do.

He may have been prepared to see him one more time before he makes the decision. But every time he was faced with such affection from Fei Long he became completely helpless. Something bad must have happened in Tokyo for Fei to seek out his embrace like this. Under normal circumstances he would have been thrilled to know Fei Long needed him and would never hesitate to give him that comfort. Now he was too afraid to turn around and look into those eyes. He was afraid, that once he did he would not be able to bring himself to leave, regardless of what may have happened in Tokyo.

As if Fei Long could sense his hesitation, he stepped in front of Mikhail and looked straight into his eyes with the kind of longing that made his heart ached. Long, elegant fingers slowly took away the cigarette from his lips and replaced it with a kiss so tender it shattered his ability to restrain himself completely.

Unable to control himself any longer, Mikhail pushed him against the glass and kissed him back with everything he had, devouring the sweet taste of Fei Long that was poisoning his mind. His hands tore at Fei's silk shirt impatiently as if taking any longer would drive him mad in an instant. He wanted to feel that warmth against his body. He had to kiss that skin for maybe one last time. All that pain in his chest made him attack Fei's body violently against his will yet it was impossible for him to stop even if Fei should beg him to.

But Fei Long did not beg. He pressed himself into that warm embrace with the desire just as intense as Mikhail's, if not more. He wanted to feel those strong hands on him, holding him tight as if they could get under his skin. He needed to feel that body against his, convincing it would replace the memories from that afternoon that he didn't want to keep. His hands entwined in Mikhail's golden locks, pulling him closer to his body, forcing those lips to kiss him harder until he could no longer feel his enemy's touch that still lingered. All he wanted to remember was how Mikhail touched him. The only smell he wanted to remain on his nose was the scent of a man who loved him, the scent of Mikhail Arbatov.

They clutched onto each other like two leopards in a fight for dominance. Each one reaching out, seizing the other's body like a hungry predator trying to rip its prey into pieces, each of them wanting more, needing more as they lashed out at each other. It was a violent, brutal, yet affectionate battle to conquer one another, a fight to take charge and possess everything the other had to offer. For the first time their feelings were mutual. They wanted each other with every breath they took, and were losing control over themselves in the act of something more than having sex. It was making love in all the meanings of the word, and making love in its most powerful form that was possible.

"Take me now." Fei Long demanded. Asami had wounded him badly, and even though the pain still remained, he wished for it. He needed to feel Mikhail inside him more than anything, filling him deeper and harder than Asami had done. Somehow Mikhail understood and did just that, partly because Fei needed it, and partly because he himself wanted it. He stroke the length of Fei's erection along with each thrust that sent him moaning the sound that was heaven to Mikhail's ears. It may have been painful on his body each time Mikhail pushed himself in harder and deeper, but the pain in his heart had lessened each time he felt that body against him. When they both released it brought them pleasure they had never felt before. There, in each other's embrace it felt like home.

When he let go Fei Long collapsed in his arms. Mikhail realized he must have been exhausted and carried him off to bed.

He studied Fei’s face lovingly. At a time like this he seemed so fragile. Mikhail pushed back the silk strands of his hair away from his face and watched him quietly, carving into his memory the image of that beautiful face. Even if he decided to walk away he would never be able to forget that face and how close he came to make him his own.

 

***

The phone rang twice before the body underneath the blanket started moving slowly. Fei Long opened his eyes and blinked several times to adjust to the morning sunlight. He grabbed his cell phone that had already stopped ringing and looked at the caller ID.

Yoh. He must have called about some meetings he was supposed to attend that day or other business matters. That was the only thing he was allowed to call his master about. He tossed his phone back on the bed. Right now he was in no mood to do business.

Fei Long looked around and realized there was no trace of Mikhail in the room. Not even on the bed. The pillows on the other side were perfectly in place and neatly fluffed like they had not been used. Was last night a dream? No, it couldn't have been a dream. He could still feel Mikhail's touch on his skin. It was too real to be a dream.

He quickly rose from the bed and walked out into the living room. To his relief, Mikhail was there, still in the same shirt he wore the night before, sitting at the bar sipping his coffee. He must have made a sound because that tall figure suddenly turned around to look at him.

After seeing the fatigue in Mikhail's face he no longer doubted his intuition. Those blue eyes had lost the sparkle that usually made him strikingly handsome. That perfectly sculptured face was deadly pale. "You didn't sleep." He spoke quietly and walked to the bar but remained standing at a considerable distance.

The lack of response from Mikhail made him uneasy. He hadn't spoken a single word since last night. He just sat there, still, his eyes piercing into Fei's soul searching for an answer Fei wished to God he didn't have to give.

He knew exactly what it was about. He knew what Mikhail was waiting for. Yet it was not like him to initiate the conversation. On top of that he'd rather not say anything until he knew how Mikhail feels.

When his patience ran out, Mikhail took a deep breath and finally asked the question.

"Was that him?" The sound of his voice showed how difficult it was for him to utter those words. As much as he didn't want to answer that question, Mikhail also didn't want to ask.

Fei's silence confirmed his fear. Asami Ryuuichi. That name had been haunting him for months. It wasn't that he didn't know how influential this man was to Fei Long, but he never thought he would go that far, not with him in the picture. He had seen the bruises on Fei's body when he changed him into his robe last night. Trails of blood were visible on his thigh. He didn't hurt Fei, he couldn't have. Someone else did, and he knew exactly who. Still he needed to hear it, hoping that there was a possibility that he could be wrong, no matter how unlikely it may seemed.

He forced the words from his throat with a heavy heart, "Did you sleep with him?" Deep down inside he prayed, he begged that the answer would be no.

Seeing the expression on Mikhail's face as he asked that question sent a sharp pain through Fei's heart. How would he answer that question without hurting Mikhail? How could he explain his actions and still have the nerve to ask for his understanding when the truth was that he didn't deserve any of it. Not his forgiveness, and especially not his love. All he had left was the body that had been tainted and a heart that beats only for revenge. The same heart that betrayed even himself as his enemy took him. Still he wished Mikhail would stay. He knew he had done some unimaginable things in the past, but was it so wrong to hope for a fraction of happiness in his life?

Mikhail took one look at that beautiful face and understood completely what was not said. That man had plucked his beautiful flower and left a scar in Fei's heart, deeper and harsher than before. What pained him the most wasn't the fact that someone else had taken his precious lover, but that Fei Long was never his to begin with, not now, and not ever. His whole existence revolved around that man, regardless of whether it was love or hate Fei really felt for Asami. There was no place left for him.

"It was not my intention." Fei spoke in almost a whisper as he stepped closer to Mikhail, hoping that he'd find a way to make him stay.

Mikhail looked at him with eyes that showed nothing but pain. There was no anger in his voice, just signs of troubled breathing. "Then what was your intention?"

"He had stolen something from me. I went to get it back."

The corner of his mouth curled up into a pitiful smile. "....and you ended up on his bed instead. How convenient for him." He didn't really want to be so harsh but his damaged ego managed to escape from his throat.

Hearing those words drove Fei mad with anger. Mikhail might as well slap him in the face. As if the fact that he had just been raped by his enemy wasn't painful enough, Mikhail found it appropriate to attack him at the heart of it.

Strong hands grabbed Mikhail's collar and lifted him off the stool. "DON’T YOU DARE INSULT ME! You have no fucking idea what I have been through!” Completely shaken with rage, he spoke through his teeth, trying to hold back the pain that was making him nauseas.

Mikhail stared straight back at him, now with anger in his eyes. He shoved Fei against the wall with the strength that easily lifted him off his feet. "NO, I don't know what you've been through, but I know exactly what you're doing. This isn't about revenge. It's not about getting even with him. That son of a bitch had taken everything from you and you're still in love with him untill this day! All I ever did was love you, Fei, and yet I mean nothing to you!"

He felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest. There was a possibility of truth in Mikhail's words, the truth that he had been refusing to accept, because then there would be more reasons for him to hate himself. Just the thought that he could be in love with that man was making him sick. He felt his lungs constricted, his stomach closing in, as he struggled to draw his breath.

When he could speak again the sound barely escaped his throat. The intensity of the pain in his heart prevented it. "I am NOT in love with him!" He proclaimed. Then his voice softened, "And I do care about you."

He didn't lie. If last night wasn't a dream, then Mikhail should already know.

But was it enough?

Mikhail wanted so much to believe those words. What they shared last night made it possible that Fei might feel something for him. But by now he wasn’t sure anymore whether it was really true or that it was just something he wanted to believe. He needed proof.

He grabbed Fei’s collar and pulled him up to meet his eyes. "Then show me, Fei. Get rid of him. Say you want him dead and I'll even do it for you!"

He wished to God that Fei would say those words, no matter how unlikely that may be. Then he would not have to leave. Then he wouldn’t have to feel so much pain. “Say it!” He demanded, his heart raced as he waited for the response that would change his life.

Give me a reason to stay.

Fei felt completely numbed as he listened to what Mikhail wanted him to do. He had sworn revenge on Asami but when it had confronted him he couldn’t utter those words. Not even with Mikhail on the line. Not even for Mikhail.

“I can’t.” He turned his face away as he spoke in a whisper. He could no longer look into those eyes. He had nothing left to give Mikhail. Asami had made sure of it.

Fei Long closed his eyes as Mikhail’s fist slammed into the wall just an inch above his ear. “God damn it, Fei....”

Mikhail squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold back the pain that was ripping him apart.

I don’t want to leave you.

He took one deep breath and tore himself away from Fei. He knew what he had to do. There was nothing left for him here.

It was time to go back to Moscow.

 

***  



	9. Chapter 9

The room went completely silent when Mikhail left. He didn't say anything afterwards. He just left. No more words of anger. Not even goodbyes. Fei Long titled his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.

Is this how it feels before one cries?

It had been so long since the last time that he had forgotten how it felt to cry. He had not cried since that night seven years ago. This was one of those moments he wished he could. Yet he found no tears. Perhaps once people cry over something they learn to cope with that pain, and no more tears would be shed until a greater pain is inflicted upon them. As of now, nothing could inflict so much pain in his heart than that rainy night. It was his fate to go on living with all this unreleased pain in his heart. He had known that for a while. Just that now he must bear this pain alone.

He knew why he couldn't kill Asami. Deep down inside he knew it was not all his fault. He was responsible for everything that happened. Seven years ago he chose to run from Baishe. He was the one who chose to trust Asami. And yesterday it was his decision to go to Japan. Everything was a mistake from the moment he was born. HE was a mistake. The world had no place for a bastard son of a whore. Why should Asami care about using him to get what he wanted? Why should Mikhail stay and endure all this pain that came with him? It was better to let him go. It hurts like hell, but at least it was fair.

 

***

Yoh arrived at the penthouse twenty minutes after Fei Long called for him to bring clean clothes and pick him up. As he entered the penthouse he looked around but his master was nowhere to be found.

"Fei Long-sama?"

The room was completely silent, as if no life were present. He looked at the unfinished coffee on the bar and realized it was still warm. Someone was here, and should still be here.

He walked towards the balcony and accidentally stepped on something. A shirt. The white shirt Fei Long had worn the day before. A sharp pain rose in his heart as he picked it off the floor and realized it had been torn to shreds. It was apparent what happened here last night. The Russian was here, and Fei Long had been in his arms. His hands clenched into a tight fist around that shirt as he thought of someone else's hands on that flawless skin, someone else's mouth was kissing those lips. Being his closest bodyguard, he knew exactly when and where they were together. It was his job to know. It didn't hurt nearly as much just knowing it, but seeing the remains of their intimacy was an entirely different level of pain altogether.

As he looked back up and out the sliding glass doors he saw an elegant figure standing by the pool and recognized his master in an instant. How could he not? No one else in the world possessed that kind of beauty and elegance. Even without that unbelievably long, silky hair he could easily make out Fei Long with just a glimpse of his back from a mile away. Yet something was different about his presence today. Something was missing. But what?

He stepped outside as quietly as he could, trying not to disturb the silence. He must have made a sound for Fei Long turned around slowly to look at him.

Yoh was taken aback when he saw that beautiful face. Gone were the sparkles in those eyes. The usual intensity of his presence that demanded attention and absolute obedience was nowhere to be found. He looked so empty, as if he was fading away right before his very eyes. Without thinking, Yoh reached out and held him by his arm.

Fei Long turned around and looked at his seized arm. "Yoh?.." He spoke in a whisper, his tone showed curiosity rather than disapproval.

Realizing what he had unconsciously done, Yoh quickly removed his hand and apologized, "Sorry, Fei Long-Sama. For a second there I thought you were going to fall."

The awkward silence between them made him change the subject. "Tao gave me your Cheongsam to bring. You also have a meeting at 2pm at Baishe."

Fei Long nodded quietly and went inside, taking his Cheongsam into the bathroom with him. Yoh waited silently in the bedroom as his master took a shower. Usually he would not be able to stand it, hearing the sound of water running down that skin, knowing his beautiful master was naked on the other side of that door. But now he was more worried about what he just saw out on the balcony. He had been by his side for over seven years and not once had he seen that look on Fei Long's face. Something went seriously wrong.

The bathroom door opened shortly after the sound of shower dissipated. Fei Long stepped out with his Cheongsam on, unbuttoned. He had placed a towel on his shoulder to prevent his wet hair from ruining his garment. Yoh turned his gaze away from the fair amount of skin that showed through his unbuttoned Cheongsam and recaptured his lost breath, trying the best he could to refrain himself from doing the unforgivable thing that his heart desired. Especially when he, for many times, desired it enough to think it was worth dying for.

"Will you help me with my hair?" That silky voice sounded like music to his ears. Fei Long sat down on the daybed, leaning his back on the throw pillow as he waited for Yoh to come over.

He closed his eyes as he felt Yoh's hand on his hair. He knew it wasn't appropriate, but it was necessary for him to look presentable at the meeting. He had clearly instructed that Tao not be brought here. He was not ready to see Tao. That boy would see through his trouble in a second and start to worry. The way he is now, with all the bruises on his body and the pain in his heart, he would not be able to pretend that everything was all right and comfort the boy like he should. He needed time to collect himself before subjecting his presence under Tao's scrutinizing eyes.

Yoh carefully dried the long, silky hair and slowly combed through it, admiring the flawless face resting just inches from his fingers. He couldn't help accidentally touching those delicate cheeks as he worked. With Fei Long so near and his eyes closed like this, it had taken him a tremendous effort not to lean forward and kiss those partially opened lips.

Those silk strands slipped free from his hands as Fei Long rose from the daybed and started to button his Cheongsam. Since the buttons were arranged to the side, a few of them, especially the ones on the far side of his waist were hard to reach. He struggled for a while before Yoh found it appropriate to offer some help.

"May I?" Yoh asked for permission before he'd dare reach out for those buttons.

Fei Long thought about it for a while before lifting his arm out of the way and rested his hand on Yoh's shoulder so he could reach the buttons. Yoh's heart was pounding in his chest as he leaned close and smelled the sweet scent unique to the man in front of him. He could feel the muscle underneath the silk as he slid his hand across his master's waist to smooth out the crinkle and pulled the fabric together to close. Fei Long's warm breaths reached his neck and made him quiver. The steady movements of Fei's chest going up and down as he breathed made him want to pin that beautiful body back on the daybed and fulfill his desire right then and there.

As he realized what he was thinking, Yoh quickly finished closing the buttons and stepped aside. It was a bad idea to be so close to Fei Long, knowing too well how much he wanted to touch that skin, knowing too well, that it was forbidden for him to do so. Why did he always insist on torturing himself like this?

"Thank you." Fei Long spoke in his usual tone. The expression on his face was still the same. Empty.

Yoh smiled to himself in pity. He must be mad to expect Fei Long would feel what he felt. Before, there was only one man in the world who could make that cold heart beat with desire. Now there were two. But the second wasn't him. It was Mikhail Arbatov. Somehow that man had managed to make his way into his master's heart. With Tao as an exception, who else would know better than he did? He was there every time that smile appeared on his face when his cell phone rang, the kind of smile usually reserved only for Tao. He wondered if Mikhail ever knew that he only had to walk into the room to light up his master's expression. Despite the cold, cruel words he used when the man was around, Fei Long did care. A lot. One would have to be close to him to notice these little things.. As jealous as he was at Mikhail, he had to admit he had never seen Fei Long so content with himself until recently.

But what exactly happened over the course of one night to change him so completely? He already knew about what happened in Tokyo. He was there. It wasn't hard to put things together. The pain in his eyes, the bruises around his neck and his wrists, the way he clenched his fists to restrain himself from showing the pain as he walked all led to one conclusion that was too painful for him to put in words. The event of that afternoon had changed Fei Long into someone else completely. Yet despite the doll-like coldness on his face and the heartless expression he projected, there was still rage in his eyes, and one could still feel the intense tension in his presence when he got on the plane back to Hong Kong.

Now it seemed he had lost it all. It was painful to see him like this. Fei Long was someone who would have been able to stop traffic with just one glance over the shoulder. He only had to walk into the room for everyone to notice him. It wasn't just the beautiful face that brought him so much attention, there was something majestic about his presence that captivated people around him. Now all that was gone. Now, he looked as if he wanted to disappear.

Under the circumstances anyone would immediately assume the Russian had something to do with it. But no matter how much he hated Mikhail, and no matter how utterly conniving that man was, in his heart he knew Mikhail's love for Fei Long was real. He could not imagine his master being hurt by this man.

When they were ready to leave, Fei Long paused and turned around to look back one more time before he left that penthouse. It was most likely the last time he'd be up here. He took a deep breath and filled his lungs with the familiar scent that still lingered in that empty space.

The scent of aftershave that clung to his collarbone for hours....

The faint smell of vodka that stayed on his lips when they kissed.....

And that rich aroma of coffee he drinks every morning...

The scent he had grown to love… and may never smell again.

 

***

 

Mikhail opened the door into his study and stopped dead in his tracks when he recognized the man who was sitting on his desk smoking a cigar. His cigar.

"Man, you look like shit."

Mikhail sighed in frustration. "What the fuck are you doing here, Alexei?"

"Oh I just happen to like flying from Moscow to Macao so I can stop by and say hello to my big brother. I'll tell you what the fuck I'm doing here, Misha. I'm here to take your ass back with me to Moscow and I'm here to check out my new desk."

Being only two years apart, Alexei never felt the need to be polite to his big brother. They had been raised together as equals in everyway, except that Mikhail had a bigger responsibility and he had always been able to do whatever he pleased.

Mikhail placed his hand over his forehead sighed one more time.

I'm not ready for this shit.

"Alexei." He spoke slowly but with the firmness that wiped the smirk off his brother's face in an instant. "Get. Off. My. Desk. Don't make me shoot you."

It wasn't often that one sees Mikhail Arbatov in that state, but when he was in a mood like this, even Alexei knew better than to mess with him. He climbed off the desk and started speaking in a more serious tone. "Are you coming home or what?"

He paused for a second before nodding slightly. "I'll leave tonight."

Alexei walked over and stopped in front of his brother. "You know what this is about, don't you?"

He stared back at Alexei who was exactly his height but with slightly smaller built. "I know what it's about. And it's still MY desk."

Those green eyes grew wide in surprise. He wouldn't blame Alexei for it. He was surprised himself that even then he was still thinking about staying in Macao.

"You don't want to go, do you?" Alexei asked seriously. He didn't understand why Mikhail did not jump at the opportunity.

"It's none of your business. Go get ready. We leave tonight." Mikhail brushed him off and left the room quickly. He was in no mood to converse with anyone, especially his nerve-wracking brother.

Alexei raked one hand through his chestnut hair that was in looser curls than his brother’s. Why was Misha so reluctant to leave when he knew he had the whole family's fortune waiting for him back at home? He remembered what Boris said about his love affair. But until now he had been doubting that his overly mature, always in control brother could have fallen helplessly over a man, and fallen so bad he was willing to throw away the family's fortune just to stay here. It made him curious. What was so special about this leader of Baishe that had Misha fallen head over heels?

6 pm.

Mikhail stepped into his private jet and looked around in frustration. "Where the hell is Alexei?"

Boris who had come to see him off answered wearily, "He said he'd just arrived and so he wanted to stay a few days before flying again. He'll be back in time for the reception."

"That sounds like him." He sighed and sat back on his seat. He couldn't care about anything anymore. Alexei can do whatever the hell he likes. It was probably better they weren't on the same plane. Right now he needed to be alone. He needed time to think things over.

Seeing the look on Mikhail's face made Boris worry. He was beyond pale, as if he hadn't slept for days. It was also not like him to be so quiet. Since he came back this morning he spoke only when necessary and in short sentences. Those blue eyes seemed to gaze out into empty space most of the time as if his mind wasn't there.

"Misha." Whenever he was in trouble Boris always called him affectionately by his nickname. "Are you all right?"

A faint smile appeared briefly on his ghostly pale face. "I'm fine, Boris. Just go."

Fine? The truth was that he was far from fine. His heart had been torn from his chest and he'd lost it…. somewhere out there in Hong Kong.

Boris closed the cabin door and watched in relief as the plane took off. It was better if Mikhail didn't return to Macao. That leader of Baishe was destroying him. The Arbatov family needs a strong leader. Alexei would not be able to take such burden. Only Mikhail Arbatov was suitable to lead, and he would never let anyone get in the way.

 

***

 

Mikhail's red Lamborghini stopped at the hotel's entrance. Alexei stepped out of the car and tossed the key over to the valet before he proceeded to the lobby with Boris right next to him.

The luxurious lobby lounge was half empty and very quiet today. Alexei sat down at a table and ordered himself a martini. After fifteen minutes of waiting his patience ran out.

"You're quite positive he's going to be here?" Alexei asked irritatingly. He had bugged Boris to set up a meeting for him to meet this leader of Baishe, but it seemed at this point Liu Fei Long was not interested in attending any meetings unless it was absolutely necessary and has cancelled almost all of his prior commitments. It had been three days since Mikhail left and he didn't have much more time to hang around in Hong Kong because of the upcoming reception he had to attend. But he refused to leave without having met this man just once. After all, this Chinese mafia held the key to Mikhail's heart, which was also the key to the family's fortune. Yet after so many efforts that ended up in vain, he was starting to think it might not actually happen.

"He should be in a meeting upstairs as we speak. When it's over you'll see him." Somehow Boris had been cooperating really well with his plans. This added to his curiosity about the importance of this Hong Kong triad leader.

"Yeah, but wouldn't he leave by the back door? To avoid getting whacked and all?"

Boris laughed lightly at the remark. "Whacked? Fei Long? This is Hong Kong, Alexei, nobody dares make an attempt on his life. It's his territory. He practically owns the island so to speak. Besides, he always stops here for tea, so he would not use the backdoor."

Alexei listened in awe. "How the hell do you know all this?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed when he thought about what he went through a few months back. "It took your brother six months to get him to agree to have one dinner. Imagine the kind of information I had to dig up for him."

That insight had Alexei laughing out loud. It made him even more curious why Mikhail was so fixated on him. Six months was insane to be going after someone. "Still, I can't believe he's fallen for a filthy Chinese mafia."

Boris' eyes grew wide in shock. "Filthy? You obviously have no idea, do you?" He wondered what Mikhail would say if he heard this. To use that word in the same sentence as Fei Long just sounded extremely out of place.

Alexei shrugged at the comment. "Well, I'm here to find out, aren't I? Be sure to point him out for me."

The younger brother really had no clue as to who he was about to meet. But his ignorance of Fei Long's reputation could only lead to a more satisfying result. "Fei Long needs no pointing out. But if you really want to know, in Hong Kong, he almost always wears a Cheongsam and he has back-length hair."

He didn't believe his ears when he heard this. Back-length hair he could picture but, "Cheongsam? In a place like this?" What kind of old fashioned gay man had Misha gotten himself fixated on?

"It's not what you think, Alexei." Boris immediately understood the wrong image in Alexei's head from seeing his facial expression.

"Not what I think ……" Alexei froze mid sentence as he looked up from his martini glass and caught a sight of something that immediately robbed him of his senses.

Tall, slim figure appeared from the corridor with five bodyguards surrounded him. The Chinese man was in a black Cheongsam with his straight silky hair hung down over his back and parts of his chest. He was in everyway elegant, regal, and majestic in his appearance, but most of all he was breathtakingly beautiful.

Alexei watched the man who was unmistakably Liu Fei Long of Baishe with his heart pounding against his chest. The answers to his questions were right before his eyes. He only had to look at Fei Long to know why Mikhail was willing to give it all away to stay by his side. The man was intoxicatingly beautiful. So beautiful he would have never hesitated to do the same as his brother had done.

The moment Boris saw the expression on his face he knew his mission was accomplished. "Alexei." He called. "Pull yourself together. I'll introduce you to him."

Just when Fei Long walked past them he noticed Boris and suddenly stopped to look at them. Seeing Boris there made his heart raced as he thought about who may have sent him. Fei Long may have decided to let him go, but deep down inside he knew if Mikhail wanted to come back he would not be able to refuse. The fact that he left without saying a word that night had somehow placed a trace of hope in his heart. Perhaps Mikhail just needed time. Perhaps he cared enough and would eventually come back. Still, it was not like him to send Boris to deliver his messages. Mikhail had always seek every opportunity to meet him directly.

Boris stood up to greet him politely. "Liu Laoban."

"Boris?" He took one deep breath and asked, "What brings you here?" He didn't even notice the man standing next to him. His mind concentrated only at what Boris had to say. No, not Boris, but Mikhail.

"I thought I'd introduce you to your new business partner." He gestured towards the younger Arbatov.

Still completely stunned at the man before him, Alexei reached out his hand for a shake. "Alexei Arbatov." Literally speechless for this first time in his life, his own name was all that came to mind at the moment. He had hoped to appear cool and calm in front of the triad leader. Yet he was anything but calm. Fei Long up close was even more beautiful. How could he ever take his eyes off this glorious being? How could he stop his heart from beating so loud when every inch of body ached to make this man his own?

Trying to ignore those eyes that were undressing him, Fei Long took his hand and raised his eyebrow as the name came back to him. "Alexei Arbatov? Mikhail's younger brother?" He asked as his amethyst eyes carefully studied that face. Even with chestnut hair that he wore loosely to his shoulder and eyes that were not blue, but green, this man was unmistakably Mikhail's brother. They were almost twins, except Alexei looked more youthful and relaxed. His facial features were softer, with less prominent cheekbones, and eyes that were more seductive rather than imposing like Mikhail's. Alexei Arbatov was gorgeous. He was like the dark, seductive version of Mikhail. But right now his heart only yearned for those golden locks. The only pair of eyes he wanted traveling up and down his body was baby blue, not green. Then he realized what Boris had just said. "Business partner?"

Boris nodded. "Alexei is taking over the business in Macao."

He felt blood drained from his face as he thought of the meaning of those words. "….and Mikhail?"

Alexei collected his breath and drew himself closer to Fei Long. It was his chance to move in and keep Mikhail out of the picture forever. Usually he would never do this, not to his brother. No matter how much they quarreled, stealing each other's date was out of the question. This was an exception. Fei Long was irresistible. "Mikhail has gone back to Moscow two days ago. He's taking over the family and will be stationed there permanently. Macao is my responsibility now." He lifted up the delicate hand and bent down to kiss it. "It would be my pleasure to work with you."

Yoh felt like snatching that hand away from the young Russian. How dare he? Even Mikhail would not be so open in public. Which brought him to consider why Fei Long had let him do such things. He didn't even try to pull his hand away and even now Alexei still held on to it with no intention of letting go. It seemed as if he didn't care and was totally calm about it, too calm. Too still.

He reached out to touch his master's arm suggestively. "Fei Long-Sama?"

Fei Long felt totally numbed from his fingertips to his toes. At that moment he couldn't feel anything. Not Alexei's hand that clung to his, nor the lips that kissed it. His eyes stared into the empty space before him. Alexei's words echoed in his mind,

‘Mikhail has gone back to Moscow…..'

"Fei Long-Sama." Yoh called again, louder this time.

Mikhail left…

Suddenly he felt dizzy. His body swayed a little. It was hardly noticeable but Yoh knew in an instant what needed to be done. He grab a hold of Fei Long's arm and supported his weight, taking care to do it with the slightest movement as to prevent others from seeing the vulnerable state he was in.

He felt he had to do something. "Mr. Arbatov, Boris, Fei Long-Sama has another meeting in thirty minutes. If you'd excuse us, we have to leave now." At that moment he just wanted to get Fei Long away as soon as he could.

Alexei smiled openly and finally let go of Fei Long's hand. "Don't let me keep you. I'm sure we have plenty of time to get to know each other."

Still unable to gain control over himself, Fei Long said nothing. He just wasn't there anymore. Yoh excused them again and escorted him into the limousine that was waiting outside.

"Go back to Baishe. Hurry." He instructed the driver.

Alexei watched as the car disappeared from his sight before turning back towards Boris knowingly. "You had this all planned out from the beginning, didn't you?"

Boris chuckled. "Planed? You were the one who wanted to meet him, remember?"

A sarcastic smile appeared on the young Russian's face as he lit his cigarette. "And that would explain why you tipped my father about Misha's obsession with him and suggested I be called back to take over Macao? You don't really think I'm that stupid, do you?"

Boris listened in silence, waiting for the younger brother to reveal his intention. Alexei had turned out to be smarter than he thought.

"You know, I had thought about telling Misha about this since you had the nerve to interfere with my life and all, but I figured I'd come and see what you have in store for me first. Luckily for you, he turned out to be so utterly irresistible."

A triumphant smile swept across his face. Lucky? Luck had nothing to do with it. Mikhail's interest usually ran more towards women than men yet he took one look at the leader of Baishe and was hooked beyond redemption. All Alexei ever interested in were men. Moreover, his taste ran towards pretty ones rather than cute. Under the circumstances, he didn't even have to guess, he knew, that there was no way in hell Alexei would pass up someone like Liu Fei Long. As much as Fei Long's presence irritated him, he had to admit, the man was beautiful beyond words.

"I take it you like my offer?"

The young Russian sneered. "Don't be so content with yourself just yet, Boris. For now I'll go along with your plans and make sure Misha doesn't come back to Macao. But know this," He moved closer to the older man and whispered in his ear. "the moment I know you pull something like that on me, it will be my pleasure to cut off your balls and feed them to the pigs. Pray, that that's all Mikhail would do if he found out what you did."

 

***

 

Fei long stood silently in his study, his hands held on to the edge of his desk to support himself. Mikhail didn't just leave without a word that night, he left for good. Taking over the family business wasn't something one would decide overnight. No, this had to be carefully planned. Mikhail had to know it for some time yet he kept his mouth shut. When was he planning to say something about it?

Did he have any intention of doing so at all?

Uncontrollable rage struck him right in his heart. That fucking bastard had been playing him all along. If he had any meaning at all Mikhail would have talked to him about this. He must have been looking for an exit and the incident in Japan was perfect for the occasion. That son of a bitch didn't even have the decency to tell it to his face. He had just been dumped in the most disrespectful way that was possible, in front of his men. He, the leader of Baishe had just been successfully degraded into nothing but a common whore. To think that he believed those words and cuddled up in those arms with out a single clue. To think, that he had been entertaining that man with his body for three weeks!

He retched as Mikhail’s words echoed in his ears. ‘All I ever did was love you, Fei Long’

You sly son of a bitch! You love me so much you’d have me be your whore!

The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to throw himself out the window. How could he allow himself to fall for it? How stupid can he be? To be fooled not once, but twice was unforgivable.

His whole body was shaking relentlessly with anger, anger that was about to explode. Suddenly he felt his lungs collapsed in his chest and was violently struggling to catch his breath. "Yoh..." He tried to call for help but only a faint sound came out from his throat. With one hand on his chest and the other on the edge of his desk he fell on his knees. Still gagging from the lack of air he drew the last bit of strength he had left and tried one more time. "Yoh!"

The door flung opened and Yoh rushed to his side as soon as he saw Fei Long on the floor.

"I...c.can't....breathe." He grabbed and squeezed Yoh's arm as he tried to utter those words.

Yoh tried his best to keep calm and quickly lifted Fei Long off the floor onto the sofa. "Tao!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, to which Tao came bursting into the room.

The boy almost shrieked when he saw what was happening to his master. "Fei-Sama!"

"Get doctor Quan! Quickly!"

Minutes later Tao came back running with Fei Long's personal in-house physician who quickly gave him something to lessen his condition. Yoh watched with a heavy heart as Tao cuddled up to him, crying for his master.

Moments later Fei Long drifted off into sleep. Doctor Quan wiped the drops of sweat from his forehead as he gestured for Yoh to follow him outside.

He took one deep breath before he began talking reluctantly. "Anxiety attack. The first time is always the hardest. Did something bad happen to him recently?"

Yoh didn't know how to answer that question. Something bad had been happening to him probably all his life. Being the leader of Baishe, having that kind of past, and having to deal with what happened in Tokyo were probably enough reasons to make a man suicidal. But Fei Long had been holding up quite successfully until this day. Up until he met Alexei Arbatov.

He froze as he recalled Alexei's words and realized what it meant. Fei Long must have heard it for the first time to be so shocked. Mikhail didn't tell him about it. He just left. Suddenly he felt nauseas. Why in God's name do these things keep happening to him? To have people he trusts and cares about betray him and walk out on him, not once, but twice. The wound inflicted upon him by Asami had not yet healed, and Mikhail had to come into his life and inflict another.

"Doctor, let's just say that something did and I cannot give you that information. What can you do for him?"

Quan sighed heavily before he continued. "Anxiety attacks are psychological problem. If it's severe then he needs therapy."

The moment he said the word 'therapy' Yoh gave him the look that made him offer another alternative. Fei Long and therapy? Impossible. Who would dare bring up the subject? Who'd live after telling him that?

"Then I can prescribe some drugs to help calm him down. How is his sleeping habits these days?"

Yoh shook his head wearily. "I don't think he had slept since he got back from Japan."

"Then I'll get him some sleeping pills as well. From here on it's yours and Tao's job to make sure he takes it, because if he doesn't, then I don't know how to help him anymore. And I suggest that someone be there with him at all times for the first few days. Just in case it happens again."

When Quan had left he went back inside and found Tao by his master's bed. The boy was still crying. "Is he going to be ok?" He asked, wiping the tears from his eyes.

Yoh put his hand on the boy's shoulder and rubbed it gently. "It's not serious, Tao. But he has to take some medicines to get better. You will help me do that, wouldn't you?"

A faint smile slowly appeared on the boy's face once he knew it was not serious. "Of course. Don't worry Yoh-san, Fei-sama never had trouble taking pills before."

'Not these pills,' he thought to himself. The moment Fei Long knew they were antidepressants they should all be running for cover. But it was not necessary to worry the boy anymore with information he would not understand. "Doctor Quan said someone should be here to watch him closely. I think he wouldn't mind if you do."

Tao nodded. "I'll be here."

 

***

As usual, please comment.  



	10. Chapter 10

The room was dark and quiet. He blinked a few times and tried to breathe deeply to release the pressure he felt in his chest. Something was right next to him, something incredibly warm. As he turned to look he saw Tao sitting next to the bed, his head on the mattress, deep in his sleep.

_Why is Tao here?_

Tao had never watched him while he slept before, not even when he was sick. It was never required nor requested.

Slowly and quietly he pushed himself up to sit, taking care not to wake the boy sleeping so soundly right next to him.

He looked at Tao with a gentle expression on his face. He sleeps so well.

To be able to sleep without care was something remotely foreign to him. He wondered how it must feel to be able to sleep without worrying whether something bad would happen the next morning, or that the things he loved would still be there.

The boy seemed so innocence in his eyes. Sometimes he wondered if there was ever a time, even a small fraction of his life that he possessed such innocence? Before he became so tainted and stained, was he ever so carefree and sleep so well?

Tao was like him, an abandoned child lucky enough to be taken in by a wealthy family. Only he was not so lucky as Tao. The moment he had taken the boy into his care he swore to himself that Tao would be lucky. Everything he lacked he would give to Tao, everything from innocence, security, warmth, and affection. If he was capable of bringing up a boy with all that quality, then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be such a failure after all. He may be Tao's savior in most people's eyes, but in his eyes, Tao was his sanctuary.

For that reason, his heart softened every time he looked at the boy. Even though his pain still remained, he could always draw enough strength to go on just by having Tao around.

Pain. It would be a lie to say that his pain had never gone away. Not so long ago he knew what it was like to feel no pain. In that warm embrace he could forget everything. In that gentle kiss he could lose himself, and for a brief moment, gained something he'd never had.

But it was all a lie, an illusion he must have manifested on his own. Was there really no one he could trust except Tao? No one at all?

"Fei-sama?"

Tao's voice startled him. He must have made a noise.

Tao rubbed his eyes a few times and smiled. "You seem better now, Fei-sama. I'm glad."

"How long have you been here, Tao?"

"Oh, since you went to sleep, Fei-sama. Dr. Quan said someone should be here with you and make sure you take these medicines." Tao showed him the pills on the bedside table.

Fei Long took one look at the names on those pills and closed his eyes. Anti-depressants. Did Quan really think he'd take them? "I'll take them later."

He looked at his watch. 9pm. Way past Tao's bedtime. What on earth did Quan give him to make him sleep so long? When he went to sleep the sun was still up.

"You should go to bed. I'll be fine. I don't need to be watched over." He said softly.

"But Fei-sama." He knew he should never question his master, but he couldn't stand seeing Fei-sama in such agony again. Whatever it was that he suffered. It looked severely painful.

The worried look on Tao's face made him uneasy. Whatever he was going through, it wasn't fair to let it affect the boy. "If you're that worried, then get Yoh for me."

A smile appeared across Tao's face that lightened up his heart. "Yes, Fei-sama."

He watched quietly as Tao exited the room. What the hell just happened to him this afternoon? He placed his hand on his chest and rubbed it slowly. He could still remember the intense pressure in his chest. For the first time in his life he thought he was going to die. If Quan gave him only antidepressants it must be psychological. That kind of symptoms resulted from a psychological problem could only mean one thing....

He closed his eyes and grinded his teeth. How pathetic. The mighty Liu Fei Long of Baishe suffering from a panic attack. He winced at the rising pressure in his chest as he tried to push himself up from the bed. At that moment there was a knock on the door. It must be Yoh.

"Come in."

He watched the door opened slowly as he stepped down from the bed. He must have moved too quickly, either that, or the dizziness he felt was more severe than he thought to make him lose his balance. Yoh rushed to his side. "Be careful, Fei Long-sama. Don't get up so quickly."

His head was still spinning. He clung to Yoh's shoulder as he struggled to find his balance. With one hand on his arm and the other supporting the back of his waist, Yoh pulled him up on his feet and held him there, waiting, for Fei Long to regain control of his limbs. It was unintentional, but in that position he was practically in Yoh's arms. They were so close he could hear Yoh's heart beating heavily against his ribs. Strangely enough, the moment he felt the warmth from that body, the pressure in his chest went away. He knew that feeling. That warmth. He'd felt it before, but from someone else, not Yoh.

He clenched his fist and tried to erase that thought from his mind as he tore himself from the warm embrace. "Thank you, Yoh." He said briefly before walking away.

Fei Long stood quietly by the window and gazed out to the night sky. So quiet. So dark. Just like his heart.

"You haven't taken these pills." Yoh's voice was full of concern.

"I'm not going to. Take them away from my sight." He said without looking back.

"No."

Taken aback by the answer, Fei Long turned around slowly, his eyes flashed blood red, "What did you say?" It was an answer he had never been given. No one in Baishe would dare. Not even his closest bodyguard.

Yoh stood just a few steps away, staring defiantly into Fei Long's eyes. "I've been by your side for over seven years. I'm not afraid of you. Take these pills. I will not stand seeing you suffer like this."

"You'd dare give me an order?"

Despite his master's efforts to stare him down, Yoh stood his ground. "I'm doing this for you. If that pisses you off then go ahead and kill me. But there isn't anyone here but Tao who's more loyal to you than I am. I know this. So do you."

To his surprise Fei Long started laughing out loud. A sarcastic laugh more directed at himself rather than his comment. When it subsided he gave Yoh a pitiful smile.

"What are you doing with me, Yoh? I'm not even fit to rule over Baishe. Your master is nothing but a common whore. Yet you still want to serve me."

Surely he must know what happened. Yoh knew what Mikhail was to him. And he was there today when that bastard sent him a message. It was difficult for him to face Yoh after all that he'd done to the man. Now that his precious master had been stripped down to nothing, what would Yoh think of him?

Seeing him like that was more than painful. The proud Liu Fei Long of Baishe, the beautiful flower he could never reach had been torn down to this by one man. He should be angry enough to kill that Russian mafia, but something told him there was more to the story. Something just wasn't right. The affection he saw in those blue eyes wasn't a lie. And if he was right, the only way to help Fei Long out of this was to straighten this out, no matter how painful it might be to him.

"He loves you." Fei Long needed to know this, if it wasn't clear enough already.

"HE LEFT!"

He didn't just shout, he screamed. And that scream shook the whole room as well as Yoh's heart. He would never forget that look on Fei Long's face. The pain in his eyes was beyond frightening. He looked like he could break drown and cry any minute. Perhaps he did. Those beautiful eyes were dry but he could see unshed tears rolling down those delicate cheeks. Fei Long wasn't talking to him. He was yelling at himself, carving into his own heart the truth he didn't want to believe.

Why must someone so beautiful be made to suffer to this extent? Those stunning amethyst eyes weren't made to cry. Those perfect lips were made to be kissed, not to utter such cruel words. The kindness in his heart wasn't made to be hidden under a cold appearance. Fei Long was made to be loved and treasured. Yet he had no one. Every time he trusted he was betrayed. Everyone he loved deserted him.

This, was the great dragon of Baishe, feared by men and cursed by God himself.

Yoh stepped closer and reached out his hand to brush away those invisible tears. He could be killed for this but he didn't care anymore. Fei Long deserved more than this. Much more. He deserved to be loved. Really loved. Somewhere inside that body of a man was a boy, deserted, left hiding alone in the corner, waiting for someone to reach out for him.

"I'm right here, and I'll always be here." Yoh said softly, caressing the softness of those cheeks with the back of his hand.

_'He loves you.'_

Those words cut through his heart like a razor sharp blade. Whether it was true, he didn't know. What he knew was in Mikhail's presence he could breathe. In those arms he could come to love himself. Life was better with than without him. After all this time he had thought the feelings were mutual. That Mikhail cared as much as he did. But it was all a lie. Now all that's left was anger and pain. So much pain he didn't know how to handle. So much pain he felt like screaming for help.

He found himself pressing onto Yoh's touch. Somehow it lessened the pain in his heart. It was what he needed, all he needed, someone who can help him out of this darkness, someone to take away the pain. Anyone.

He leaned forward, pulling Yoh closer by his tie, so close that their lips almost touched. "Swear," He said softly. "that you will never leave my side. Swear your life to me, Yoh."

Yoh swallowed hard as he tried to control his breathing. The object of his desire was right in front of him, reaching out for his embrace.

"I swear with my life. I will never leave you."

For a moment there he thought he saw a faint smile on that beautiful face. Yet it was brief, so brief it might have been his own imagination. Fei Long kissed him. He found himself holding back at first, undecided whether it was real or one of his dreams. Yet no dreams could be so sweet. No illusions so warm. Fei Long was really kissing him. That slim, elegant body he had longed for was in his arms.

He pressed himself into Yoh's embrace, desperately searching for the solution to end his suffering. Someone to give him that warmth again, like Mikhail gave him. Someone to make him feel loved and treasured, like Mikhail loved and treasured him. Just someone, anyone, to take away this pain.

Yoh cold feel his blood rushing through his veins. An unquenchable hunger crept under every inch of his skin, hunger he had imprisoned in his heart for seven years. He pressed harder onto the softness of those lips he had longed desired, to which Fei Long accepted without hesitation. Right here, in his arms he can touch the untouchable. Right now, he can have what he could never have. The end of seven long years of relentless torture was just an arm's length away. He only had to reach out for it.

But could he?

He closed his eyes and collected all his strength to control himself and broke free from that kiss. No matter how utterly painful it was, he had to restrain himself. He couldn't do this to Fei Long. What Fei Long needed wasn't his love nor his embrace. It was someone else's. He would not be able to fill that void. To take advantage of him in his most vulnerable state would make him just another scum. It was the last thing Fei Long needed, someone to use and abuse him again. He would not be that person. Fei Long means much more to him than that. More than his own selfish needs.

"Yoh?"

Those beautiful amethyst eyes were full of questions when they looked upon his. Yoh turned his face away as he quietly apologized. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

Silence filled the room and made the air heavy. A few moments later Fei Long started laughing quietly. Yoh looked up and saw that those eyes were not laughing at all.

"For seven years you've been watching me, undressing me with those eyes. You think I didn't know? Now you have my permission and you can't do it." He spoke slowly with the tone that was neither sarcastic nor sincere. "Am I really that pitiful, Yoh? Am I so tainted that even you can't bring yourself to touch me anymore?"

"There is not a single part of my body that doesn't want to touch you right now, and you know it." Yoh looked straight into his eyes to show the sincerity in his words. "It isn't me you want, and you will only regret it."

"Regret?" He repeated the familiar word with a sarcastic smile on his face. Then the smile disappeared underneath a sad, longing expression that tore at Yoh's heart as he quietly asked, "Would I, Yoh? Would you?"

"I won't. But you will."

Regret. Was he still capable of regretting over something? For what is regret if not the realization of a wrong doing that effects the future? There was no future left for him. Not in such relationships. Being betrayed twice was enough. There will not be the third. No, he wouldn't regret. He'd lost the ability to love something or someone enough to regret.

"There is nothing left for me to regret about, Yoh."

He just needed someone here, and all he had left was Yoh.

"Right now I need company, and I'm asking you. Don't deny me."

Normally those words would send him on his knees, and he wasn't sure it didn't. He wanted nothing more than to jump at the opportunity and fulfill his heart's desire. It took a tremendous amount of courage and self-discipline to stop himself from taking what was being offered, especially when he wanted it enough to die for it.

What he was about to say would hurt Fei Long, but no more than it would hurt him. "Right now you are my master, and I'm your subordinate." He bowed. "Liu Laoban."

He smiled to himself as Yoh left the room without another word. It couldn't have been clearer. Yoh's choice of addressing him slapped him hard on his face.

_All he had left was Yoh._

He felt like laughing at that thought. Who was he kidding? There was no one here.....no one at all. The room was empty, just like his heart. He could curl up in that corner and cry. But there would be no one to wipe his tears. No matter how much it hurts, there would be no arms to comfort him. He exists right here, but no one cared.

Yoh stood in silence with his back against the door. He closed his eyes and tried not to imagine what was happening in that room since he left. It was the worst time to leave him, yet if he had stayed any longer he would not be able to restrain himself. Fei Long was alone in that room, taking the cruelty of life in its most vicious intensity, locked together with all that pain and that void in his heart. The one man he cared about more than his own life was suffering on the other side of that door, and he was incapable of offering help. A single drop of tear rolled down his cheek. Just one. The pain in his heart was incomparable to what Fei long was going through. He would not dare cry for his own pain.

 

***

11pm. The door clicked open. Fei Long stepped out of his bedroom quietly with an empty expression on his face. "I need a car."

Yoh's heart stopped momentarily as he looked at his master. Fei Long was in a black silk shirt cut to hug his every curve with the first three buttons left undone. As if that wasn't enough to make someone go insane, he had put on a pair of black stretch pants cut so small one could see the muscle tone on those long, elegant legs. His hair was tied back loosely, showing off the perfect neckline that could seduce anyone in his path. It had been months ago since Yoh last saw him in those clothes, yet he immediately remembered the implication of such appearance. Fei Long was out to hunt.

He took a deep breath and tried to control the intense pain rising in his chest. "May I ask where you're going?"

Those amethyst eyes turned ice cold as he spoke. "It's not your place to ask questions. Get the car. I'm going alone."

 

***

P.S. Brace yourself (finally!) for Alexei Arbatov in Chapter 11! Please comment or I'll have Fei cheat on Misha again! XDDD


	11. Chapter 11

Snowflakes danced in the wind, slowly covering the frozen pond in the garden outside the window. Mikhail stood still, looking out into the nothingness before him.

So quiet.

He used to like it when it snowed. Now it seemed too quiet. Everything was too still. As if the whole world had stopped moving altogether.

Or perhaps it was just him, just everything around him that had stopped. His whole life seemed to have stopped when he set foot on that plane. He knew leaving Fei Long would be hard, but he didn't know it would be more than hard. It had taken something from him, something significant that left him with a void he didn't know how to fill.

To wake up and not see that beautiful face made him wish morning would never come. To not hear that silky smooth voice everyday deprived him of the will to go through each day. He had grown accustomed to Fei Long's presence so much so that without it he had lost his bearing. What was he doing here? Why? To take over the family's fortune? For what? What would he do with all that power if Fei Long wasn't here by his side? What would he do with his life without Fei Long in it?

"Misha."

Mikhail startled when a feminine voice called his name. Feodora. He had forgotten she was in the bedroom with him. He turned around slowly to look at the beautiful woman on his bed. Feodora was a childhood friend with family background equaled to his own. Somewhere along the way that friendship turned into something else. Just before he moved to Macao he had thought of marrying her. She was the most appropriate match in every aspect, and he wouldn't have minded. She was beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated, and she'd do anything for him, a perfect woman for any man.

But was it what he wanted?

"What are you thinking?" She rose from the bed and walked towards him. "Misha." Her delicate arms wrapped around his waist from behind lovingly.

"Mikhail." He told her. "Don't call me Misha." That name was reserved for someone else, the only one he'd like to call him, the only voice that was good enough to utter his name.

"You never seemed to mind before." She said sweetly and cuddled up to the warmth of his back. "I guess you've grown too big for it, right? After all, it's been almost two years."

Mikhail took her hands in his and turned around slowly, looking into those pale blue eyes. She was still beautiful, with glittering blond hair that fell to her waist and the face of an angel. She gave him a sweet smile. Feodora loved him. He had known that for a while now. It was the reason why he could have married her without regrets. To take her into his arms would be wise, to marry her would ensure his future. His father would be more than happy for this choice. With the Arbatov's enormous fortune in his very hands and a woman worthy to be his wife by his side, what more could he ask for? His whole future was right in front of him. He only had to reach out for it. It was the right thing to do. Yet why the hesitation? Why was it so hard to reach out for her?

Tall, slender body that was so soft to the touch pressed into his embrace. "Will you make up for it? Kiss me, hold me like you used to?" She touched his lips gently with the tip of her fingers before pulling him down to a kiss.

He paused a little before accepting her in his mouth and found himself searching for what wasn't there. That taste, sweeter, with a hint of tea and jasmine, the taste he could always lose himself in. He closed his eyes and imagined that taste in his mouth. Somehow a trace of it still lingered on his tongue. He wondered how long it would stay there, if it would remain there after he kissed someone else enough times.

The pain below his stomach urged him to pull her closer into his embrace. His strong hands tore away her clothes in a desperate attempt to replace his memories with something else that wasn't Fei Long. Yet every time he touched her skin the memories he tried to erase became more vivid. That skin, smooth like this, but firmer, warmer. His hands unconsciously attacked the delicate body in his arms as if to strip away everything that didn't feel right.

Feodora bit her lips to keep from crying out in pain as those rough hands tore at her skin. Mikhail was ripping her apart. Somehow it didn't feel like he wanted her. It was more like he was searching for something else, madly searching for something that he was dying for. She felt those lips on her body, drifting from place to place, not because he couldn't get enough of her, but that he couldn't get want he wanted from her. Mikhail was right here, in her arms, yet he was somewhere else, with someone else.

It was useless. The more he touched her, the hungrier he felt for Fei Long. The pain was becoming unbearable and he felt he needed his release. At least he thought he did. He lifted her up against the window and slid his hands under the skirt to pull down her lace-lined underwear before undoing his own trousers. She wrapped her legs around him in acceptance and threw her arms around his neck, waiting to feel him inside her.

Mikhail pushed himself into the warmth he felt he needed. But every time she moaned it was the wrong moan. Every time she tensed it was different. He closed his eyes and he saw someone else. The pain rippling through his body wasn't for the need to release. It was for something else that wasn't there. Everything was wrong, the body he held in his arms, the skin that rubbed against his, the voice that resonated in his ears. It wasn't what he wanted.

It wasn't him.

'I can't do this.' He tore himself away from her as he realized the root to his problem. He wasn't ready for another relationship, not even a relationship based on sex. His heart he left in Hong Kong, his senses were numbed from everything that wasn't Fei Long.

She reached out and held his face gently in her hands. "Where were you?" It didn't surprise her. She knew there was something wrong with Mikhail. She had been in his arms countless times before but never found him to be in such agony. Mikhail was a man surrounded by countless women dying to be on his bed for both his looks and his money. Even when they were a couple she knew he occasionally helped himself to some of them. She didn't mind then because in the end he would come back to her. She was special. She was above them. Yet now she felt like just another one of those girls. Except that it was worse because now he couldn't even bring himself to touch her.

Feodora’s words echoed in his ears. Where was he? His body was in Moscow yet his mind betrayed him and drifted back to that place, to Hong Kong, to Fei Long.

"I need to be alone." He pulled away and waited quietly as she put on her clothes and left the room. What else was there for her to do? There was nothing to be said, nothing to be done. Mikhail belonged to someone else now.

He sat down on the bed with both hands over his face. The reception was in two days and he still hadn't made up his mind. He thought he had when he got on that plane. He thought he could when he led Feodora into this room. Yet he was wrong. He was far from ready to leave all that behind, far from ready to live without Fei Long.

After all that Fei Long had put him through, here he was, still finding it impossible to leave, still desperate for a reason to go back. It didn't even have to be a good reason. At this point he realized all Fei Long had to do was to pick up the phone and call him, demanding that he be back in Hong Kong and he would be there in a heartbeat. Just a small gesture that showed he meant something was enough. Then he'd leave all this with no hesitation.

I _will_ leave all this for you.

 

***

 

It was Friday night and the bar was packed. Fei long slipped off his overcoat as he was escorted ahead through the long lines of people trying to get inside. It was the finest and the most elite wine bar in Hong Kong, and they always keep a table for him here.

"Fei Long!" A tall man of his age with blond highlights in his hair came over to greet him with arms wide open. "My dear Fei Long!"

There weren't many men who were allowed to give Liu Fei Long of Baishe a friendly hug, but this man was one of those few with such privilege.

"Tony." The owner of the bar happened to be an old friend from college. Tony was one of those rare people who understood the concept of privacy well enough to be kept as a friend. A good friend, but not close.

"I haven't seen you for weeks." He teased.

"I've been busy." A short, brief answer meant he didn't want to be asked further.

Tony understood immediately. There was an invisible wall around Fei Long that one had to recognize and respect in order to be allowed in his presence. He may be a friend, but a friend from high places had to be treated with precautions.

"You look great." He said as his eyes traveled up and down the man in front of him. Fei Long was always stunning in his suits and Cheongsams, but very few people who knew him would get to see him in his clubbing outfits. The place attracted a young crowd. Most of them didn't know who he was and he liked to keep it that way. All they knew was that he was a 'friend' of Tony.

"What are you fishing tonight? Boys or girls?"

"I'm just here to drink, Tony." He smiled a fake smile. "For now." He just had to leave Baishe. Anywhere was fine, anywhere with people would be his escape.

"Come." He put his hand on Fei's shoulder and escorted him through the crowd where the best table in the house awaited them.

"Bring us a bottle of red from my own cellar." Tony ordered one of his waiters as he sat down. If Fei Long wasn't here to hunt, then he needed company. Every once in a while Fei Long would give him a visit at his bar, not regularly, but often enough. Sometimes he'd leave with someone. Sometimes he just came to drink, usually when he wasn't in a good mood.

Fei Long always drinks very little, just enough to get the conversation going but never allows himself to get drunk. For a powerful and ruthless mafia leader, Fei Long had class that topped some of the royalties he'd met from other countries. It was always a pleasure to give him company.

The waiter came back with the wine. Tony grabbed the bottle and told him to leave. He knew Fei Long to never drink from an opened bottle, nor does he trust anyone else to open his drinks for him. Who'd blame him for being so careful? The whole place was packed with people dying to get into his pants, guys and girls alike.

He poured the wine and handed over the glass and caught a glimpse of something familiar on his neck.

"So, tell me, are you with anyone at the moment?" Tony asked casually as he poured his own wine.

"No." A short answer meant he wanted to change the subject.

Tony felt like pressing him a little and made a gesture at the object on his neck openly. "No?"

Suddenly he remembered. The pendent. He had gotten used to its weight and forgotten about it completely. Mikhail had given him a necklace with this cylindrical pendent a week ago. He wasn't sure why but since he insisted and it looked rather nice he thought he might as well wear it. It was a gift, and, then, Mikhail was someone special.

Fei Long gulped down the rest of the wine in his glass to help erase that thought and poured himself another. He had a feeling he was drinking a little too much. But nothing really mattered anymore. He'd take anything that helped at this point. Anything.

"This?" He asked, touching the pendent on his neck. "What does this have to do with it?"

He could see Tony was taken aback. "Well, you didn't just put that on because you like wearing jewelry. I know you."

"Someone gave it to me and I had forgotten to take it off. End of story."

There was a look of curiosity on Tony's face as he continued to question the great Liu Fei Long of Baishe. He knew he was risking his neck over this yet he felt compelled to ask. "You do know what that is, right?"

"It's a Goddamn necklace with a pendent, Tony. Get off my back already." He was starting to lose his patience. He should have remembered to take it off. Everything that reminded him of that man needed to go.

Tony sighed heavily and smiled. "It's not just a pendent, Fei Long. It's a Love key."

Those words startled him. A Love key? "What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm guessing that certain someone who gave you this wears a bracelet of the same style. Yes?"

Mikhail did wear something like that lately, everyday to be exact.

"That bracelet is called a Love bracelet. Once you’ve put it on you can't take it off without a special key. It's a symbol of love and possession. Do you know what that means?" He paused to look at the confused expression on his friend’s face for a moment before he continued.

"You are my possession, and I alone hold the key to your heart." Tony gave him a seductive smile to intensify his words, "You, my friend, hold the key to his heart."

He felt his breath quickened as he heard those words. It had been on his neck for a week and he never had a clue what it meant.

"It's usually done the other way around. You'd put the bracelet on someone you love to possess that person. He put it on himself and gave you the key. That's…." He paused to find the correct word but there was only one,

“love."

Fei Long found himself swallowing the bile in his throat as he recalled Yoh's words.

_'He loves you.'_

_If that was true, even in its smallest form, why did you leave me like this?_

Tony reached out his hand and touched Fei's gently. Something must have happened, something awful. Fei Long looked as if he was angry and hurt enough to cry.

"Fei Long." He said softly. "I don't know what happened. But whoever gave you that necklace loves you. That was the whole point."

He rose quickly from the chair. The pressure in his chest was starting to build up. He had to leave, leave before it happened again.

Desperate for air, he rushed through the crowd out the door. Just as he turned around the corner into an empty alley next to the building, someone caught his arm.

"Leaving so soon?"

A familiar voice with a strange accent caught his full attention. He looked up and recognized the man in an instant. Alexei Arbatov.

"It took me a tremendous effort to track you down, and I'm about to be seriously damned for not going back to Moscow today. I was hoping at least you could stay for a little chat?" Alexei gave him a seductive smile as he moved in closer.

A little chat? He was in no mood to chat. The last thing he wanted to see was the resemblance of that face. That Russian accent made him sick to the stomach. "I'm leaving. If this is a business matter you will make an appointment to see me like everyone else." He pulled his arm away and tried to collect himself. The pressure in his chest was becoming increasingly painful and he'd just realize he was quite dizzy.

"Business?" Alexei laughed as he bent over and spoke next to his ear. "It's very personal, Fei Long. I was thinking about getting a room."

He wondered if the man had a clue who he was talking to. Even Mikhail wouldn't dare talk to him like this during the first few meetings. Those devious green eyes found it appropriate to stare at every part of his body without shame. Mikhail was straightforward, but not this straightforward. Having Mikhail looked at him with such intensity made him uneasy at times, but standing in front of Alexei as those eyes traveled up and down his body made him feel naked and exposed.

Alexei was the extreme version of Mikhail. He seemed more cunning, more in love with himself, and much, much more self-centered. The fact that the man also seemed to have no self-control made him dangerous in Fei Long's eyes and he knew he should avoid this Siberian wolf at all costs. Especially now that his head was spinning fast and he knew he was in a vulnerable state. Yet he was already pissed. Too pissed to just walk away without showing that wolf what he was made of.

"I thought your brother was a shameless prick. It seems all Arbatovs are." His voice was shaking now. His constricted lungs and the dizziness in his head were making it almost impossible for him to stand up straight.

The last sound he heard was Alexei's voice calling his name. He felt someone's arms around him, lifting him up off his feet just before his consciousness faded away.

 

***

Fei Long rested quietly on the bed like a delicate flower waiting to be held and admired. That beautiful face looked so young and innocent when he slept. Alexei sat down on the bed and stroke the soft skin on that flawless face.

He had to admit Fei Long was truly stunning. It was extremely rare to find such combination in a man; a face more gorgeous than the prettiest woman he'd ever seen, yet he was manly, with an incredible body covered with refined muscle tones begging to be caressed and kissed. Still, the most captivating thing about this leader of Baishe was his commanding presence. Fei Long seemed so powerful, so aggressive, and at the same time, extremely elegant. Those cold amethyst eyes were like eagle's. They've stopped his heart dead in his chest the first time he saw them. A rare beauty, so unique and exotic was lying unconsciously right here within his grasp.

Under normal circumstances he would not hesitate to take advantage of the situation. Fei Long in his Cheongsam was enough to make him want to jump the man anywhere. But Fei Long in that close-fitting, partially unbuttoned shirt and those pants tight enough to reveal every muscle on those long elegant legs was begging to be ravished. Just by seeing it made him so damn hard. Yet his curiosity overwhelmed his raw desire. To take him now would be the end of his relationship with Fei Long and probably the last time he'd ever get his hands on that perfect body. There was more to this man than his looks. He wanted Fei Long in his arms, fully awake and in all his glory. Those lips were going to kiss him willingly. He had to hear that silky smooth voice moan in ecstasy and feel every muscle on that body tense under his touch. Such a fine leopard should be taken at its best. Not like this. Never like this.

Alexei smiled at himself. For the first time in his life he was starting to envy his brother.

***

Fei Long woke up to a familiar scent that reached his nose. He opened his eyes slowly, trying to regain his awareness. White linens with gold trimmings. Percale. Not his. His were all satins. He knew that scent. He knew these pillows. They felt like…..

He pushed himself up from the bed in an instance. Mikhail's bed. Why did he just wake up in Mikhail's penthouse?

The rich aroma of coffee reached his nose. For some strange reason he didn't understand, he found himself rushing to the door. The sunlight blinded his eyes for a few seconds. In his deficient vision he saw a familiar figure on the barstool.

"Mish..…" His voice faded as he realized he was mistaken. Alexei turned around with a slight smile on his face. "Good morning."

What was that flash of pain in his heart just then? Disappointment? About what? Did he expect Mikhail to be there? Was he hoping it was Mikhail? After all that happened, why was his heart crying for that face every time that was possible?

"How are you feeling?" Alexei asked, sipping his coffee.

He suddenly recalled last night's event, though very briefly. Knowing Alexei's intention towards him prompted him to ask the important question, "What happened?"

"You passed out in my arms last night at the bar."

Ferocious amethyst eyes stared straight into Alexei's emerald green orbs, searching for anything else that might not have been told. "And that's it?"

A cunning smile appeared on Alexei's face, "You mean did we fuck?"

Those pretty cheeks blushed faintly pink after hearing those words. It was almost unnoticeable yet it was there. He was right, Fei Long was so much more desirable awake. "It was incredibly tempting, but no. Unfortunately I haven't touched you."

No matter how much those words irritated him, he had to admit he was amazed with the man in front of him. Alexei was different, very different. He spoke with an absolute confidence in his voice, as if he’d never failed at anything in his life. Though in terms of sex it wasn't hard to imagine. Those green eyes held the power to mesmerize people. That deep voice and the moan-like sound he makes at the back of his throat when he speaks was severely seductive. He had that dark and aggressive look that makes you wonder what kind of dangerous animal he would be in bed.

If Mikhail's best asset was his charisma, Alexei's, no doubt, was his extreme sex appeal. Under normal circumstances he might actually consider bedding this dangerous arctic wolf. But right now he just couldn't be less attracted to the man.

"Thank you." He felt obligated to say it.

"Don't thank me just yet." Those green eyes sparkled as he spoke. "Just because I haven't done it doesn't mean I don't have an intention to."

Now he was starting to regret ever thanking the bastard. "I don't think I'm interested in getting fucked over by both Arbatovs, thank you."

Alexei laughed a little at the comment. Beautful, elegant, and haughty as well. What a wonderful temptation.

"I'm sure I'll fuck you very differently. You might actually find yourself enjoying it."

There was something about the way Alexei talked that didn't anger him as much as it should. Those words spoken by someone else would have immediately gotten on his nerve and he'd be reaching for his gun right about now. Yet coming from Alexei, it sounded very natural. It felt like he was just being straightforward and honest. How many people in the world has that kind of freedom? To be able to speak their minds without giving a damn about the consequences, to posses that kind of confidence was nothing short of extraordinary.

"And I thought your brother was insane." He spoke with his usual cold, expressionless tone, his fingers flipped through the pages of the magazine on the bar, trying to ignore those green eyes that were staring at him without shame.

He found himself pausing at an advertisement. A familiar bracelet and a pendent that resembled the one Mikhail gave him. His eyes traveled down the page to the written words that stabbed his heart like a dagger.

_How far would you go for love?_

He found himself touching the cylindrical pendent on his neck, wondering whether any of it was true. If Mikhail was dedicated enough to give him something that means so much as this, then he had wounded Mikhail deeply by going to Japan. Yet if he really meant something to Mikhail, why did he not mention anything about going back to Moscow? Why left him out of something so important?

"Well, I need to get back soon. I have to go back to Moscow today or my father is going to kill me. I can drop you off somewhere." Alexei interrupted his thoughts.

He wondered if Alexei really thought he was going to accept that offer. "I can get my own ride, thank you."

"If you want your people to know you've been sleeping here, yes."

They really were brothers. He could just imagine Mikhail saying something like that to get him where he wanted. He couldn't deny Alexei was kind of right in that sense. Still he wasn't sure it was a good idea to have that arctic wolf drive him around.

Sensing hesitation, Alexei smiled deviously and teased, "What do you think I'm going to do? Rape you in my Lamborghini?"

He really should start getting used to Alexei's bluntness.

"You can't. And it's not your Lamborghini."

"Very soon they will be, both you and the Lamborghini. And if you're so sure I can't, then what the hell are you worried about?"

These Goddamn Arbatovs, all of them. They had the nerve to demand everything they wanted and knew exactly how to back it up with reasons to force people to agree. He sighed in frustration before giving in. Dragging the conversation further was a waste of time. "Fine, I'll take your ride. Give me a few minutes to freshen up."

A triumphant smile appeared on that cunning face. “Of course. Take your time.”

Fei Long walked back into the bedroom thinking he’d take a quick shower before leaving. A cotton pinstripe robe was folded neatly on the shelf inside the bathroom. He glided his fingers on the soft fabric as memories passed through his mind.

He remembered that robe. Mikhail had worn it quite often. He’d sit on his barstool in that robe with his golden curls falling disorderly around his face. In one hand he would hold his coffee and a newspaper in the other.

‘Good morning, princess.’ He’d say. Those blue eyes would sparkle every time he said those words.

He used to mind being addressed that way. Now he was beginning to miss it. His heart ached from being in the very place that brought back so many memories. No matter how irrational it may seem, no matter what Mikhail did to him, he could not deny missing those blue eyes that sparkled every time he looked into them as well as those golden locks he used to love curling around his fingers. Those rough hands used to caress his skin like no one else. Those lips used to kiss him with so much affection. There was no one else that could replace Mikhail. Not in his heart.

_How far would you go for love?_

He closed his hand around the cylindrical pendent on his neck, the key to the bracelet. What if Mikhail did care? What if there was a good reason for him to keep his succession a secret? Was he going to just let it end like this? Or was there something else he should be doing?

Fei Long rushed back out the door where Alexei sat waiting. He wasn’t sure if what he was about to do would be considered wise. He wasn’t sure if it was a sane decision. But it was what he wanted to do. For the first time in his life he didn’t care what would happen.

“Alexei.” He said with an absolute certainty in this voice. “Take me to Moscow with you.”

 

 

P.S. If by any chance some of you haven't come across the the Cartier Love collection, please see <http://www.love.cartier.com>. And....may God have mercy on your boyfriend/husband's wallet.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Completely stunned at those words, Alexei sat absolutely still, his eyes searched that beautiful face for the reason behind the unexpected request. He could understand how Fei Long might want to see Mikhail. But for him to go all the way to Russia for this contradicted his impression of Fei Long completely. He didn't look like someone who would run after his lover and beg for his return. Yet no matter how he looked at it, Fei Long was serious.

"What makes you decide to do that all of a sudden?" He just had to ask.

"It is not your concern."

Alexei's eyes grew fierce, staring at him like the dangerous wolf he was, searching for the truth behind that cold mask.

"Then tell me, knowing that my intention is to get you on my bed, why would I want to do that?î

It must be the first time he saw a truly cunning smile on that beautiful face. Fei Long tossed back his hair and peeked through his long lashes seductively as he asked, "Do you like to gamble, Alexei?"

"For what?"

That slender figure seemed to glide effortlessly across the room and paused in front of him. He swallowed hard as Fei Long leaned forward just inches away from his face. Seeing Fei Long at a distance was overwhelming, but seeing him up close in all his perfection was definitely not easy for him. Not unless he could do something about the aching desire that was becoming unbearable.

"Me." Those elegant fingers played with his silky black hair as he spoke. "On your bed."

Alexei felt like grabbing the back of his barstool to keep from jumping him right then and there. To tease him like this when he had been deprived of his sexual release since last night was rather stupid, unless, of course, Fei Long wanted it himself.

"I'm listening." He said with a soft moan in his throat as he imagined taking that beautiful creature in his arms.

He lifted Alexei's chin with the tip of his fingers, drawing him closer to his face. "Take me to Moscow. If your brother proves to be unworthy, then you shall have me on your bed."

Just the thought of that made him hard. It was just a conversation, but somehow it felt like foreplay, one hell of foreplay. "And if he's not?" Alexei asked quietly, holding his breath as he watched those luscious lips moving up and down as he spoke. He couldnít help entertaining himself with the thought of what heíd do with them. How he wanted to taste those lips. How he wanted them on his skin.

Fei Long smiled a devious smile as he continued to tease the man before him. "Perhaps you'll still have me on your bed. A few minutes ago you were so sure of yourself, weren't you? Or do you feel you're no longer up to the task if Mikhail's in the picture?" Surely Alexei didnít think the Arbatovs were the only ones who knew how to get what they want.

Fei Long was far from stupid. All that attempt to make him hard as hell was leading up to this, to make him want it enough to agree to anything. Yet even though he saw through it all, he wasn't sure he could deny the temptation in front of him. He would never be able to die a peaceful death unless he could get his hands on this beauty at least once. Luckily it was just sexual attraction. It wasn't wise to let himself fall helplessly for someone like Fei Long, knowing he could never be owned. Mikhail made that mistake. He wasn't going to.

It was clear to him that Mikhail was still completely hooked on this exotic beauty. For him to take Fei Long to Moscow would be helping them get back together. But then again he was right in saying that it wouldn't change anything if they do. He always gets what he wants, sooner or later. It'll be quite a challenge to accomplish. Not only that, but he was beginning to see an opportunity to turn this to his advantage. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea.

He rose off the barstool and put his arms around the slender waist. If Fei Long wanted to play, then let's play. "Well, then, let's make this even more interesting, shall we? Since you're asking me to complicate my life further by taking that challenge, then I'd ask you to take a challenge to be fair." He said with a cunning smile on his face. "Come to Moscow with me as my date. That's my condition."

Fei Long's eyes narrowed as he considered the proposal. To do that would infuriate Mikhail further than he'd already done by going to Japan. He wanted to go to Russia to clear things up, not to complicate things any further.

Sensing hesitation from Fei Long, Alexei pressed on, "We'll put his heart to the test. Or do you feel you're not up to the task?"

Irritated for having his own words thrown back at him, Fei Long reached for his phone and dialed.

"Yoh, tell Tao to pack my bags. I'm going to Moscow."

 

***

The hum of the private jet engine quieted down as the plane leveled. Fei Long leaned back on his seat opposite to Alexei, gazing out the window. What would he do when he sees Mikhail? What would he say? He had gotten on the plane without even thinking twice about it. Because of that he had decided to come alone. It was something he had to deal with by himself, without Yoh or Tao interfering with his thoughts.

"I have to say I'm still amazed at your decision." Alexei sipped his wine as he spoke.

Fei Long kept his gaze out the window, intentionally ignoring the question. He didn't have to answer anything. He wasn't there to keep Alexei company.

"You know Misha has always been more straight than gay." He continued as if doing so would eventually get him the attention he wanted. "He had a fianc_, did he tell you that?"

Mikhail never told him about his previous relationships and he never really cared. Yet hearing it from Alexei made him a little upset. Alexei was trying his patience. What the hell did he expect to accomplish by bringing up subjects that would irritate him he would never know. But to quarrel with someone so damn straight as Alexei was never fun and he wasn't in the mood.

"I should warn you because she'll be there with Misha at the reception today. He's still officially 'with' her at the moment."

Unable to stand Alexei's attempt to get on his nerve any longer, Fei Long rose quickly from the chair to retreat to the cabin down the back. Alexei suddenly stood up and blocked his way.

"You know, we really should get to know each other before we get there. Besides, we're stuck here for another ten hours."

"I'm not interested. Move before I make you." Alexei has yet to learn his wrath. He really wouldn't mind giving the cunning wolf some bruises.

Unaffected by the threat as usual, Alexei closed in on him. "Well, you'd better be interested. If I'm to pass you off as my date I can't have you flinching every time I touch or kiss you."

"You canít be serious. What makes you think I'd flinch?" Fei Long snickered at the comment. Alexei seriously had the wrong idea about him.

"I'm going to need proof." He leaned forward and whispered softly, his voice accompanied by the signature moan-like sound in his throat. That sound must have worked well for him in normal circumstances. But he was just not interested in Alexei.

Fei Long pulled him close by the collar and planted a brief kiss without a second thought.

"That proof enough for you?"

It happened so quickly, but a taste of something extraordinary was left on the tip of his tongue, something new and unique. Alexei licked the wetness on his lips and swallowed that delicious taste down his throat. Whatever it was, he knew he had to taste it again.

"You call that a kiss?" He asked under uneven breaths, his green eyes glowed like emerald as he looked at the man in front of him.

Before Fei Long could say another word, Alexei grabbed his waist and planted another kiss on his lips. He thought of struggling to break free, but to do so would confirm Alexei's words and he wasn't going to lose this game. It was just a kiss anyway.

What was so special about the way Mikhail kissed him was the realization of how much Mikhail wanted him. With Alexei it was pure talent. His kiss was gentle, yet powerful enough to send Fei searching for something to hold on to. He kissed repeatedly, breaking each contact with moans and purrs in between only to kiss again with increasing intensity each time. He was wrong. It wasn't just a kiss. Alexei was sucking his self-control dry. Emotionally he felt nothing for Alexei, but his body had no choice but to respond to the kind of skill that made his knees weak.

"Enough." Fei Long turned his face away to break the kiss, trying to remain as calm as he could.

Alexei's hand lowered from his waist to stroke the side of his thigh. "A taste like that, you in my mouth, I can never get enough." He leaned forward and breathed heavily down Fei's neck. "I don't know what it is, but this scent you have on you makes me so damn hard every time I smell it."

He had to admit it was extraordinary. Alexei possessed a sex appeal so strong it seems he radiated aphrodisiacs. His bluntness and his attitude towards sex complimented his ability to perform flawlessly, making him seductive to the point of being dangerous.

"Alexei. Get. Off. Me." He spoke slowly but with a deadly tone as he realized a different side of him was being lured out by Alexei, the side that wants to break all rules and follow his raw instinct. He didn't even feel like defending himself from his advances. Somehow Alexei had a way of disarming him. For a man in his position, it was unacceptable.

The intensity of his tone and the deadly glare told Alexei he was serious. His heart hammered in his chest as he backed away. He wondered if Fei Long knew how stunning he was when those amethyst eyes glowed as he glared. Dangerous, deadly, and breathtakingly beautiful, Fei Long was a delicious challenge he just had to take. No wonder Mikhail didn't want to let go. A masterpiece like this leader of Baishe doesn't come every lifetime.

He smiled as he watched Fei Long disappeared into the private cabin down the back. For a brief moment there, he understood for the first time what it was like to feel butterflies in his stomach.

 

***

Feodora straightened the crease on her gown as she rose from the couch when Mikhail entered the room. Her blue eyes light up as she gazed admiringly at the man in front of her. For two years they had not seen each other until a few days ago. Mikhail had grown into a man so stunning that she couldn't help falling in love with him all over again. His golden curls were longer now, framing his face that had become more chiseled and mature. He was in his perfectly tailored, gray striped suit that night with his hair combed back neatly leaving a few tresses dropped over his brows. His playful blue eyes had grown wiser and with more sparks in them than before. Mikhail was now a man, and a man so full of charisma that had her heart pounding against her chest every time he drew near.

"I should be damned for keeping such a beautiful woman waiting." Mikhail kissed her briefly on the cheek. She really was stunning in her golden silk gown that perfectly matched her light blonde hair.

She smiled and adjusted the tie around his collar. "It's all right. I've waited for you much longer than that."

He smiled softly. They were practically engaged before he went to Macau and he had kept her waiting until this day. Now that he had returned to Moscow, he'd be expected to take her hand in marriage. It was only appropriate that she accompanied him to the reception tonight.

"We should get going. Have you seen my father?" He tried to change the subject. Those longing blue eyes filled his heart with so much guilt it was becoming unbearable.

"I'm not sure. He was with Alexei just now. I heard he just came back about an hour ago. He brought back a new date as well." She giggled.

Mikhail rolled his eyes in complete boredom. So thatís what the brat had been doing in Hong Kong, entertaining himself with boys. "That sounds like him all right. We're lucky he came back at all. Usually he just doesn't show."

"I know. But this time he wanted his new date to join the table. Your father is furious. I'm amazed Alexei even dares."

Feodora was right, it was definitely odd that Alexei would even try to include his new date on the family's table, knowing how inappropriate it was, especially at an event of this importance. "That's never going to happen." He knew his father would never allow it.

"Well, it's either that or no Alexei. Strangely, he's being quite stubborn this time."

It was more than strange. No matter how spoiled and undisciplined he was, Alexei would never dare give their father an ultimatum. Yet the significance of this reception required him to be there, his father may just have to give in. "What did my father say?" He wondered.

"I don't know." She reached out for his arm and urged him to escort her from the room. "Why don't we ask him?"

***

Vladimir Arbatov slammed the door behind him as he left the room. Alexei knew he had angered his father to a great degree but he had a good reason to push for it. He hadn't said a word about who his date was, but once his father knew he'd understand. Fei Long had to be seated on the family table and nowhere else. Besides, it was about time he tested his authority in the family. Both his father and Mikhail should know he couldnít be pushed around.

He put on his suit and walked out the door to Fei Long's room across the hallway. After knocking a few times the door opened slowly. A tall, slender figure appeared before him in glittering gold cheongsam made of pure silk. An embroidered dragon wrapped around his body and reappeared majestically over his shoulder. His heart stopped dead in his chest for the vision before him. He had seen Fei Long in a cheongsam once when they first met, but not like this. This was something else.

The golden cheongsam, obviously tailored by the best China had to offer, hugged every curve on that body flawlessly, showing and complimenting the incredible figure underneath the silk in a very elegant yet seductive way. He found himself swallowing hard as his eyes traveled up to that beautiful face that seemed to glow with the clothes he wore. Fei Long was beautiful beyond words. No matter how crazy it may seem for someone to wear a cheongsam to an event like this in Russia, it was impossible for anyone to look at Fei Long in it and not be captivated by him. Mikhail may have the most beautiful woman in the room escorting him tonight. But compared to what he saw before him, Feodora doesn't stand a chance.

Fei Long was amused at Alexei's complete silence. He knew too well of his effect on people. Most of the time the motive behind his choice of appearance wasn't always innocent. Still, seeing that look on Alexeiís face was priceless. "Perhaps I should have worn a suit?" Fei Long asked jokingly.

"If you had I'd strip you and put this marvelous thing back on myself." He finally spoke but those green eyes still hadn't left his face. "My God, Fei Long, if you only knew how hot I am right now." He stepped forward, forcing Fei Long to step back into the room as he spoke. The door was left opened, and Fei Long had backed himself into a corner.

"Don't even think about it, Alexei." He warned frustratingly but calmly. "I can kill you with bare hands."

"Of course you can." He rested one arm on the wall and leaned forward far enough that their faces were only an inch away. "That is if you want to."

Fei Long held his gaze on those green eyes and snickered at the ridiculous presumption. "You have no idea how much I look forward to it."

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and pressed Fei Long into his embrace. Once again Alexei kissed him. This time more intense and with a desire so strong he was literally being crushed in those arms.

"Alexei?" A familiar voice sounded from outside the door.

Fei Long froze as he recognized that voice. He wished Alexei would know how much he wanted to kill him right now.

Alexei suddenly paused and let go of his waist. A devious smile crept onto his face as he intentionally stepped to the side, revealing in full view the man that was in his embrace.

In the hallway outside the door Mikhail stood in absolute silence with a woman clung to his arm. Fei Long lifted his chin and stared into those blue eyes that seemed terrifyingly cold. It was the first time he saw that look on Mikhail's face. He had seen anger, sadness, and affection in those eyes before but never resentment. There, in that hallway, Mikhail's presence filled the room with such a suffocating intensity of terror he wished he didn't have to experience.

They looked at each other in complete silence for a brief moment that somehow felt like an eternity. If only Mikhail would say something. Even out of madness or hate would still be better than this agonizing silence. The tension in that room had managed to wipe even the smirk off Alexei's face.

Fei Long watched as Mikhail turned around and left without a single word.

_'We'll put his heart to the test.'_

That was some test. Those blue eyes shot at him like a bullet through his chest.

"One of these days he's going to kill me." Alexei sighed heavily when Mikhail disappeared from their sight.

The last time he had that look on his face was over ten years ago. Mikhail had sent him to the hospital for a week for stealing his first Lamborghini and driving it into a tree. It took three men and a threat from his father to convince him his brother had to be kept alive. Usually he was as stable as a rock, but when it comes to the things he truly loved, which was extremely few, one had better prepare for the consequences before messing with Mikhail Arbatov. Perhaps it was a bad idea to be doing this. Fei Long must have meant the world to him.

But then again, Fei Long was so utterly irresistible and probably worth the risk.

"Was that her?" Fei Long asked with his silky smooth voice, his eyes still gazed onto the empty hallway. She was beautiful. Together they make a perfect picture. Perfect in everyway for Mikhail.

"Yes. Feodora." He answered with a cunning smile. Fei Long was interested after all. "Beautiful, isn't she?"

 

***

Feodora found herself running to catch up with Mikhail. The awkward silence in that room told her something went terribly wrong. Who was that man in Alexei's arms? Why was Mikhail trembling like this?

"Mikhail." She tried to call but he didn't seem to hear. He kept walking down the hallway with the same terrifying expression on his face. His breaths quickened with every step he took. The slight tremble that she felt from his arm had turned into something worse. His whole body was shaking so bad now that one could see it from a distance. It was frightening. She had known him for over twenty years and nothing had ever disturbed him this much. Not once.

"Mikhail." She tugged at his arm and tried to stop him. This time he paused and looked right at her. The expression on his face was something she would never forget for the rest of her life. Mikhail had been hurt deeply. She could feel it just by looking into his eyes.

It took him a while to collect his breaths and finally said something. "I need a moment alone." Still he had to struggle to force the words out from his throat.

She let go of his arm without protest. Mikhail was about to lose it. It was all she could do.

"I'll wait right here. Take your time." She said with a sad smile on her face, her hand reached up to stroke his cheek lovingly. If only she could do more. Now she only hoped to get her message across. That sheíd always be here when he needed her.

Without another word, Mikhail rushed into the closest room he could get to. For the first time in his life he panicked. His whole body was shaking beyond control, making it impossible for him to stand still. That sudden rush of pain, anger or whatever it was left him gasping for air as he paced back and forth in that room.

Stop it. Stop....... Pull yourself together.... Breathe.

_Why are you here? Why with Alexei?_

Just the thought of Fei Long in Alexei's arms had him smashed himself against the wall to relieve the pain in his heart. That Goddamn bastard! Fei Long was his and his alone. He'd die before he let someone touch that skin. He'd kill before he let someone kiss those lips.

A violent rage went through his head and prompted him to reach for his gun. His hands were still shaking relentlessly.

For a moment there, a sparkle from his wrist caught his eyes. He paused at the sight of that precious metal on his wrist. The Love bracelet. There was a reason he gave Fei Long that key. There was a reason he had kept the bracelet on him. What he felt, what they had, was mutual at some point. It had to be. He felt it too many times.

Strangely his body had stopped trembling and he had started to breathe more constantly. Fei Long had come to Moscow for a reason. He had to find out what it was before making any decision.

"Please, tell me you came for me." He murmured quietly with his eyes closed, gliding his fingers on the smooth platinum on his wrist. "Tell me you came for me and I will never leave you again."


	13. Chapter 13

The reception was held at the main ballroom of Arbatov's main residence in Moscow. The guest list consisted strictly of family members and people from the inner circle of the organization.

With her hand on Mikhail's arm, Feodora forced her smile as she accompanied him into the ballroom. The reception was held mainly to unofficially announce Mikhail as the new head of the family. It was important that he appeared at his best, which would never be a problem for someone like Mikhail Arbatov, but after seeing him in such a vulnerable state she couldn't help being concerned.

To her relief, he seemed to be calm enough to circle the room with a smile on his face. Though he was a bit more quiet than usual, it wasn't very apparent. Deep down inside she knew he was far from fine. She was more than anxious to know the truth behind it all and the only one who could give her answers seemed to be Alexei.

"Mikhail." Vladimir Arbatov acknowledged his eldest son with a brief smile to which Mikhail smiled back and lowered his head slightly in respect.

"At least try to get through the night like a son I can be proud of. Think you can manage?" He spoke with his usual expressionless face.

Feodora couldn't help being amazed at his father. He only had to take one look at Mikhail to know something was wrong. As much as he was a flawless leader widely respected by his business associates, he was also a loving father who knew his sons better than anyone. After all, he raised them with his own hands since their mother died giving birth to Alexei.

"Yes, of course." Mikhail replied in a whisper but with absolute confidence in his voice. "I am your son."

His father nodded slightly in response. "Here comes your brother." He said as his eyes averted to the entrance.

Mikhail watched with a heavy heart as Alexei walked into the room with Fei Long by his side. For once he was actually glad he had left his gun back in that room. Seeing that smirk on Alexei's face made his hand itched for one.

Gripping his hand tight in hers, Feodora fixed her eyes on the man in the golden cheongsam by Alexei's side. Was it really possible for a man to be so breathtakingly beautiful? Alexei had always loved pretty boys with an obvious female touch but this one was different. That flawless face was so beautiful she felt ugly in his presence. If that was all she wouldn't be so threatened by him but it turned out to be a very small part of what made every pair of eyes in that room focused on the man. He may look like a woman at first glance but was unmistakably a man, and a man of such elegance he screamed royalty in every step he took. This wasn't just a pretty guy Alexei picked up from a club. He was far too extraordinary to be common. This man was her equal in status if not above. She was sure of it.

A slight tremble from Mikhail's arm tore her from her thoughts. It was apparent now that Mikhail's sudden break down was caused by him. She swore she could hear his heartbeat quickened as that man drew near.

"Dad." Alexei smiled as he greeted his father whose eyes were obviously fixed on Fei Long. "Let me introduce you....."

"Liu Fei Long of Baishe." Fei Long held out his hand and introduced himself in perfect Russian before Alexei could utter another word. It was degrading enough to be known as Alexei's date when he arrived. To let Alexei introduce him would be to much of a disgrace for him to bear. "You must be Vladimir Arbatov."

Surprised to hear the name, Vladimir paused for a second and took a glance at Mikhail before he shook Fei Long's hand. "Your reputation does you no justice. Forgive my ignorance on your visit. I have not been told."

"It was inappropriate of me to intrude. For that I apologize." He said elegantly with his silky smooth voice, his eyes studying the man in front of him.

It was the first time in twenty years that he had seen Vladimir Arbatov who used to deal directly with his father. He was too young then to realize how extraordinary the man was. With reckless sons like Mikhail and Alexei, he had imagined their father to be somewhat similar. To his surprise, Vladimir was the complete opposite of his sons. He was calm, confident, and very dignified equipped with flawless diplomatic skills. His movements were gracefully slight and he speaks with the tone that shows no emotion. Vladimir held himself with such a dominating confidence that effortlessly earned him respect without having to say a single word. A truly magnificent leader, one he couldn't help but admire.

"It is my pleasure to receive you in my home." He nodded slightly then turned to Mikhail and Feodora. "You already know both my sons. This is Feodora Ivanova, a close friend of the family."

"My fiance." Mikhail spoke with absolute clarity, making sure his every word was heard.

Feodora startled as she heard Mikhail addressed her as such. She was under the impression their engagement was off and even before Mikhail was never so eager to let people know of their relationship. A sharp pain rose in her heart as she realized what was happening. She was being used, and for Mikhail to use her in that manner told her exactly who Liu Fei Long was. The very man who took Mikhail from her was standing right in front of her, shaking her hand.

To his surprise Fei Long looked at him and smiled. It was a strange smile, one slightly sarcastic and sad at the same time. He nodded lightly as his amethyst eyes met Mikhail's. Nodded as in acceptance, as in defeat.

It was the answer he was looking for, one he came to Moscow to find out. Mikhail had made it clear to him that night what he was, a distraction that no longer gave him the thrill. He felt like laughing at himself for coming all the way to Moscow just to confirm how insignificant he really was. Still, it was a chance he had to give himself, a chance to trust someone, to care about something, a chance to love, and be loved in return.

In the end he couldn't really say he failed. After all, he did trust Mikhail. He did care, enough to drag himself out here to be humiliated. Most of all he did love. Mikhail just didn't love him.

"Congratulations." He gave Feodora a sincere smile. "And I do mean it."

He turned to Vladimir and lowered his head slightly in respect. It wasn't something he'd do often but the man deserved it. "Anyway, you have guests to attend to. Don't let me keep you."

As soon as they left, he turned around and walked out the door. Alexei followed quietly through the hallway out into the garden covered entirely with snow where Fei Long paused underneath an old tree, admiring the leafless branches heavily covered in perfectly white snow.

"Beautiful." He murmured.

Alexei stepped closer and reached out for the fleck of snow that somehow got onto Fei Long's silky black hair. "Looks like I've won the bet." He smiled. Yet it wasn't one of his cunning smiles. If Alexei was capable of being sincere, this could be considered a sincere smile.

"I believe you have." Fei Long replied as if he couldn't care less.

"You really love him, don't you?"

It was a simple question, and the answer was just as simple. Only he never knew before. "I think I do."

Alexei laughed lightly as he heard those words from Fei Long. "You know, somehow I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be glad or pissed to hear it."

A brief smile swept across his face as he tilted his head back to look at Alexei. "What does it matter to you how I feel? All you've ever wanted from me was just sex.” He turned back towards the snow covered branches and sighed heavily.

“That was all everyone ever wanted, wasn’t it? This body, that you think is so beautiful." Those words would have sounded sarcastic if not for the way he said it. It was actually heartbreaking to hear, mainly because Fei Long actually believed it was true.

"You know, Mikhail used to tell me that I should curse myself for looking like this. I guess he was right.” He paused for a moment and smiled at himself. “I am cursed."

Alexei removed his jacket and placed it over Fei Long's shoulder. "Perhaps you are. Perhaps that's all I want from you." For the first time there was gentleness in Alexei’s voice. "And perhaps, everyone who looks upon you are cursed as well."

"I don't need this." He tried to return the jacket.

Alexei raised his hand and stopped him. "Don't get me wrong. I'm, just taking care of my prize. And I'm not staying out here to freeze to death with you." He said as he turned around and started to walk back towards the building.

"Alexei."

He just waved without looking back. "I'll tell them not to expect you at dinner."

 

***

Feodora excused herself after desert and left the ballroom. She could stand it no longer. The trouble in her heart prompted her to do something about it. It was true that she couldn’t be more thrilled to know Mikhail had an intention to marry her. For over fifteen years she had been by his side, loving him more than anyone ever could. Yet now she hesitated. Something told her it wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. Not to Mikhail, especially not to herself.

He loved someone else. That was the truth, the brutal truth that she had to live with. Even knowing so she would still like to keep him. But for what? So she could torture herself everyday knowing he’d rather be somewhere else? In someone else’s arms?

No. She was better than that. She was prouder than that. Even if she couldn’t have his heart, she would be a woman who deserves a man like Mikhail.

She stopped in front of the door and paused momentarily to make up her mind. There would be no turning back after this. She took a deep breath and knocked twice.

Fei Long was undoing his cheongsam when he heard the knocks. He left the first few buttons undone as he opened the door and saw the most unexpected guest in front of his room.

“Miss Ivanov?”

“Feodora.” She said without a trace of smile on her face. “I need to talk to you.”

He paused in surprise before letting her inside the room. She must have known about him and Mikhail to be visiting him like this. But how much did she know? And why was she here?

“You must be wondering why I’m here.” She asked as she sat down on the sofa.

“I’m curious, yes.” He answered calmly, his amethyst eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out the reason for her visit.

She paused and studied the man in front of her. Fei Long was truly stunning. Even now that he seemed a little pale he was still beautiful.

She took one deep breath and looked straight into those amethyst eyes. “Do you love him?”

That question startled him to the point of sending him slightly off his balance. “Excuse me?”

“Mikhail.” She clarified, her eyes told him she was determined to get her answers.

Completely taken aback by her bluntness he paused to collect himself and stared back into those beautiful blue eyes. Mikhail certainly knew how to pick his woman. Feodora was far from ordinary. Not only was she beautiful, but the woman had the guts to look him in the eyes and demanded his answers in a very regal way. “What difference does it make to you?” He asked calmly.

No matter how much she hated saying it, she had to force those words through her teeth. “Because he loves you.”

A sad smile swept across that beautiful face. Fei Long turned away from her and said quietly, “Somehow I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, believe it.” Her voice hardened. “You stole him from me.”

As if it wasn’t painful enough, she had to come here and threw it in his face, forcing him to say what had to be the hardest thing for him to admit. “He chose you.”

She looked at him, now with tears forming in her eyes. “No he didn’t.” Her voice started shaking as she clenched her hand into a fist. “It was a test. He used me to test you. Me! Do you understand?”

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to stop herself from trembling, yet her emotions overwhelmed her completely. “For fifteen years I have been there for him. For fifteen years I’ve loved him with everything I have. Just now I had to watch him break down in front of me over you. How could you just stand there telling me he doesn’t love you?” With her tears she poured out her heart. She had kept it in far too long. Fei Long listened quietly, giving her time to cry. If only he could cry like that. If only he was as honest with himself.

If only Mikhail loved him as she claimed.

Feodora wiped her tears as she tried to calm herself enough to speak. “You know, I would never let go of Mikhail, not unless it was for his own good. If you love him, even in the smallest measurement of your heart then I beg you, go to him and set me free. But if you don’t, then I hope that you will be decent enough to let him go.”

She rose slowly from the sofa and held herself regally as best she could. “That’s what I came to say.”

Fei Long escorted her outside the room with a heavy heart. As much as he felt sorry for her, he admired her for the courage to confront him about it. This was a woman perfect for Mikhail. Perfect in every way.

Just before she left she turned around paused for a moment as she glanced at his partially exposed neck.

“You have the key.” She made a gesture at the cylindrical pendant. “He gave it to you, didn’t he?”

Fei Long nodded slightly in response.

“He still wears it, you know?” She said softly. “The bracelet.” Her voice started trembling again and tears threatened to fill her blue eyes as she spoke. She never knew Mikhail bought the key with the bracelet. Now she knew the extent of his love for the man in front of her. “Everyday, Fei Long. Everyday.”

 

***

Mikhail took off his tie as he finished seeing the last guest out the ballroom. It was late and he was tired yet he knew wouldn’t be able to sleep. Alone in the ballroom, he grabbed a glass and poured himself some wine before sitting down at the grand piano and played.

“It’s a little late to be drinking, isn’t it?” A familiar voice sounded from the entrance.

Mikhail looked up and smiled sarcastically. “What the hell do you care what I do?”

Fei Long stepped out from the shadow and walked towards him. Facing Mikhail, he rested his elbow on the flawless polish of the piano and raked one hand through his hair. “Can we not do this?”

Mikhail stopped playing and looked up from the ivory keys. “Do what exactly?”

“This.” He looked into those blue eyes with absolute sincerity. “Hurting each other.”

“Each other?” He sighed heavily and chuckled. “I haven’t exactly gone off to fuck anyone else while we were together, Fei.”

Those words cut through his heart like a razor sharp blade. He wondered if Mikhail would ever forgive him for what happened in Japan. He wondered if he would be able to forgive himself.

“If it makes you feel any better, it wasn’t exactly enjoyable having my hands tied behind my back and his hands yanking at my hair.” He smiled at himself in pity. If Mikhail only knew how much he wanted to go back and change everything that happened that day.

Mikhail looked up at him with terror in his eyes as he realized what Fei was trying to say. “What do you mean?”

Fei Long just looked at him quietly in response. He didn’t want to say it. He couldn’t, not without bringing back the dreadful memory of that day.

He watched as Mikhail went through a series of heart-wrenching emotions. From anger to hate and then a trace of disappointment appeared in those blue eyes. “Yet you let him live.”

“Believe me, not a day goes by without me hating myself for it.” He said with a sad smile. Even now he may not be able to kill Asami. As pathetic as it seemed, it was actually true.

“I don’t deny that I have unresolved issues with Asami and until it’s been resolved I would never be able to kill him. But that’s me. And you should already know.” He stepped closer and stood right in front of Mikhail, running his hands through the golden curls he adored more than anything. “But this is also me, standing here in front of you, at my own will, asking you for one more chance at it. At us.”

He wondered if Fei Long knew he was ready to be on his knees just hearing those words, whether or not it was actually true. As hurt as he was and even knowing he would be subjecting himself to be hurt over and over again by Fei Long, he was more than willing to jump back into that relationship. Yet there was still one more matter that troubled his heart.

“And Alexei?”

“I needed Alexei to get me into your house. And you already know your brother.”

Mikhail smiled as he caught Fei’s wrists and kissed those elegant hands that were running lovingly through his hair. “I already know my brother.”

It was stupid to think he could ever leave Fei Long, stupid to ever think he could bear it.

Mikhail rose onto his feet and kissed those lips gently as his hands stroke the delicate cheeks lovingly. He closed his eyes and savored the right taste in his mouth, the taste he could never live without. “I’m addicted.” He paused and kissed again. “To this. To you.”

Fei Long gave him a gentle smile, one that filled Mikhail’s heart with delight, the smile usually reserved just for Tao. “Don’t ever leave me again.” He whispered as he pressed his lips onto Mikhail’s. He needed it. To be kissed by those lips, to feel Mikhail’s skin on his, to be loved, the way Mikhail loved him.

With one swift move, Mikhail lifted him up on the piano, his hands undid the buttons on Fei’s cheongsam hurriedly, as if he couldn’t wait a minute longer to kiss the skin underneath. To have Fei Long back in his arms was all he wanted.

Mikhail kissed the nape of his neck and earned himself a familiar moan that made him hard enough to come any minute. Being away from Fei Long was a bad idea. He was at his limits. Fei Long was no different, he could tell. He knew him too well. The body in his arms had become more sensitive than usual, shuddering violently under his every touch, moaning with the intensity that ripped him of his self-control completely.

“Mikhail.” Fei Long spoke under heavy, uneven breaths, his hands tugged at Mikhail’s shirt impatiently. “Take me.”

He buried his face in Fei’s hair, kissing and biting on the nape of that elegant neck as he tried to stop himself from tearing that beautiful body apart. The pain below his stomach was becoming unbearable yet he wanted to take his time with Fei, giving him everything he had, everything that would ensure his place in Fei’s heart.

“Goddamn it, Mikhail!” Fei Long pried Mikhail’s face off his body in frustration, his hands yanked at the those curls as he trembled uncontrollably from his own desire. “How long will you continue to torture me? I need you now.”

There was nothing more seductive than seeing how much Fei Long wanted him. He could give up the world for this, just to see that look on his face.

He pulled down Fei’s silk pants underneath the golden cheongsam as he sat down. His hands traced the smoothness of those long, elegant legs as he kissed the soft skin on the inside of his thigh, to which Fei Long cried out in agony. He could feel every muscle on the body tensed underneath his touch. He closed his eyes and immersed himself in the pleasure of hearing Fei Long moaned helplessly as he slid his fingers inside to prepare his lover.

Fei Long grabbed his hair and pulled him off the stool as he spoke through his teeth, “Now.” That beautiful voice was shaking with desire so strong he just had to give in.

“Ahhh..” He arched his back and moaned loudly as Mikhail entered with his full length. Mikhail kept his eyes on that beautiful face as he drew out and pushed himself in again and again. His hands wrapped around Fei’s erection as he watched that face twisted with increasing intensity every time he moved his hand with his thrust. Fei Long clung to him with arms around his neck and threw back his head as he came, crying the very sound that made Mikhail released just seconds later.

In the hallway outside the ballroom Alexei stood with his back against the wall and a Cuban cigar in his mouth, listening to the sound that had been reduced from loud moans as they climaxed to just heavy breathing from two people clinging to each other.

Alexei smiled as he inhaled the sweet scent of his cigar.

It wasn’t over yet. Far from over.

****  



	14. Cruel Intentions Chapter 14

The morning sun filled the room with soft golden rays that managed to escape through the curtains. Mikhail blinked a few times to adjust to the light as he lifted himself up slowly and felt something soft against his hand. Long silky black hair spread across the white linens of the bed like a delicate silk scarf. He found himself holding his breath as he reached out to touch it, fearing that what he saw might have been his illusion and would vanish right before his eyes at his very touch. Yet the soft strands he cradled tenderly in his palm seemed real. Fei Long was real, and right here by his side, sleeping on his bed.

He sighed in relief and smiled softly as his eyes admired the flawless face sleeping so peacefully next to him. That face...that beautiful face that he adored more than anything in his life was right here once more for him to behold. He wondered if Fei Long ever knew how much he loved looking at it, whether it was showing anger, frustration, sadness, or sometimes, very rarely, a glimpse of happiness. If only he could fill his life with moments like this, watching Fei Long sleeps by his side, waking up to the beautiful scent of his hair, being there to see his every smile, every laugh, and every tear, then his life would be complete. There was nothing he wouldn't give for it, nothing he wouldn't sacrifice.

At this point he was beginning to wonder, whether it was all an illusion he created, Fei Long's beauty, his adorable habits, and his perfection. Was Fei Long really this beautiful, or was he beautiful because he loved him so much? Perhaps he was an invention of a lover's dream that he seemed to be perfect in everyway through his eyes, especially at moments like this, when he could never take his eyes off him.

"Stop staring at me." That silky-smooth voice sounded from the man he thought was still sleeping.

Mikhail chuckled as he reclined on his elbow close to Fei Long. "I can't. I rarely get to watch you sleep. You always wake up before I do." He protested as his fingers stroke the softness of Fei's bare arm.

"I've been up for a while." He murmured.

"Yes, but today you stayed in bed." A soft purr escaped from his throat as he leaned forward and kissed Fei's shoulder.

"Where would I go? It's not exactly my house."

He trailed his kisses lovingly down that long, elegant arm as he said in a whisper, "but my house is your house."

"Of course, but it's still your father's house." A devious smile appeared on the beautiful face as he spoke.

Mikhail paused and looked up in frustration. "Oh for goodness' sake, Fei, do you have to ruin it every time? You're just plain cruel, you know that?"

Fei Long turned around to face him and smirked, reaching up is hand to pinch Mikhail's cheek playfully. "Oh, but you love me this way, you big bear."

In that moment he suddenly realized Fei Long was different. Somehow he was more relaxed, more at ease with himself. Something had changed in the way he spoke and now there was a trace of affection in those usually cold amethyst eyes. His heart skipped a beat as he recognized that change.

"I do love you this way." To him, it was impossible to do anything else but to kiss those lips he so loved over and over again. This new Fei Long was so utterly adorable it was impossible to get enough of him.

A soft moan escaped from Fei's partially opened lips as Mikhail slid his hand down the side of his thigh, nipping the nape of his neck at the same time. Mikhail did know how to touch him. How could he not crave those rough hands on him when they knew every inch of his body? How could he not love those lips that knew everyone of his sensitive spots and could read his mind like the back of his hand?

"You know, we really need to change the setting because doing this in the same place for the fifth time in a row is starting to get to me." He commented with a low, seductive voice that had Mikhail's erection grew harder in an instance.

"Sixth." Mikhail corrected as he kissed those lips again. "And I have just the place, for later."

 

***

The helicopter touched down on the snow-covered plane in front of the house. Fei Long stepped out slowly and stood in silence, stunned at the sight before him. Mikhail had told him they were going to his vacation home by the lake and he had imagined it as just another one of his luxurious villas. To his surprise it was a rather small log house compared to his other properties. The most extraordinary thing about that house was its location. Built among several beautifully aged trees, the delightful log house emerged as an incredibly peaceful and private sanctuary right before the frozen lake Baikal. It was a sight that took his breath away the moment he saw it.

"Like it?" Mikhail asked as he adjusted the cashmere scarf around his neck to keep himself warm.

"It's incredible." He answered slowly with his silky-smooth voice, his eyes still gazing at the surrounding.

A sweet, satisfactory smile appeared on Mikhail's face as he heard Fei's approval. He loved to spend his time here especially in winter when everything turned white and the enormous lake was frozen and covered with snow. He had been wanting to bring Fei Long here for some time but never had a chance until now, and to see that Fei seemed to like it as much as he did filled his heart with joy he never knew.

Strangely the house seemed more adorable than the last time he saw it. The lake seemed more beautiful than what he remembered. With Fei Long here by his side, everything just seemed better.

Fei Long raised his eyebrow when he realized the staffs that gathered in front of the house to welcome them started to get on the helicopter. "Are we leaving?" He asked.

"No, they are." The answer was way too short for him to understand what was happening.

"Why are the staffs leaving?" Seeing that they've just arrived, it seemed unreasonable that the staffs were leaving.

"Because I told them to." Mikhail answered with a slightly cunning smile on his face that made him understood immediately the motive behind it.

"All of them?" He wondered.

"All of them."

Once their belongings have been brought inside and unpacked, the last set of staff excused themselves and left. Fei Long took off his overcoat and looked around the house quietly, admiring the beautiful decorations that were chosen carefully in every detail in perfect taste. He had seen many luxurious log homes in his life, but none radiated warmth and coziness to the extent of this place. It was just the right size, the rooms were not too large that it felt lifeless, and not too small so that it seemed crowed in anyway.

The enormous glass window in the living room overlooked the frozen lake from a perfect angle. Completely stunned at the sight before him, Fei Long stood motionless, gazing out into the overwhelming snow-covered landscape. He had never felt so calm in his heart. Here, among the breathtaking beauty that nature had to offer and no other buildings or humans in sight, he felt like he could do anything his heart desired. No more obligations or worries. No more past or pain. Here he could almost forget anything. Almost.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind lovingly. Warm, steady breath reached the nape of his neck as he felt Mikhail's firm chest against his back.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He whispered. "I used to love to skate out there on the frozen lake when I was young. Sometimes we'd take the dogs out to sled and race each other for miles, Alexei and I. My father had to organize a search party to find us once. We were grounded for a month. Now that I think about it, it was kind of silly." He laughed lightly as he recalled the memories of his childhood. Even without a mother, his father had managed to raise them with enough memorable moments to last them a lifetime.

"And who won?" Fei Long asked with a teasing tone.

"Alexei." He sighed. "He used Alaskan huskies, they're faster. Mine were Siberian huskies, slower but absolutely beautiful dogs though." Mikhail explained, his voice full of affection as he described them.

Fei Long chuckled as he imagined young Mikhail Arbatov with a pack of dogs. "I'm surprised you didn't try to get Alaskan huskies just to beat your brother."

"I would never think of it. I loved my dogs. They were gorgeous." He said softly, burying his face in the soft silky strands of the jet-black hair, whispering into Fei's ear, "I'm addicted to gorgeous."

Fei Long could feel the warm breath on his neck quickened as Mikhail drew closer. Those lips brushed gently over his cheek as he felt Mikhail's heart pounding against his back. "As I am addicted to you." Mikhail whispered lovingly.

He turned around slowly to meet those beautiful blue eyes that looked at him with so much affection. It was in those eyes that he felt so secure. It was in these arms that he came to appreciate his existence, knowing he was wanted, needed, and treasured by someone to this extent, by someone he held close to his own heart.

For a moment everything seemed to have stopped, the chirping birds outside, the wind that blew against the window, the snowflakes that were flying in the breeze. There, in each other's embrace, they lost themselves in a gentle yet passionate kiss that was felt underneath every inch of their skin. The only sound left to be heard was the steady rhythm of their breathing and the sound of their hearts that, for once, were beating as one.

Fei Long buried his face on the masculine chest he had grown familiar with after breaking away the kiss. He loved to put his face against Mikhail's body like this, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, feeling the warmth on his cheek, and taking in the scent of that aftershave that seemed to relax him every time it reached his nose. They were rather simple things, yet it was these simple things that filled the void in his heart.

"Misha, can I ask you something?" He finally lifted his face and asked.

Mikhail smiled gently as soon as he heard the way Fei Long called his name. "Yes, sweetheart?"

It was inappropriate, he knew, yet he had to ask. "How the hell are we going to survive out here without a single staff?"

He just laughed lightly and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. "I'll manage. You won't have to worry about a thing."

With a criticizing look on his face, Fei Long questioned him to be sure, "You'll manage. Like you've ever washed dishes before in your life."

This time the accused seemed a little disturbed. "You really don't know me, do you?"

"Well, I wasn't really interested in knowing at the time." He explained, rolling his eyes and looked away for a few seconds only to turn around and saw a rather disappointed face before him. Feeling a little guilty, he reached up to ruffle those golden curls.

"Oh c'mon you big bear, be a man and start managing already. I'm hungry."

***

Fei Long lifted himself up and sat on the kitchen island, watching Mikhail carefully unwrapping the rack of lamb he took from the fridge. He couldn't help smiling at the sight before him. Mikhail must have noticed because he put down his knife and glared at him in frustration.

"What?"

"Nothing." He tried his best to fix his expression and failed miserably.

As he realized those blue eyes still glared at him in silence, demanding a straight answer, he just gave up.

"I can't help it. Mikhail Arbatov, the evil Russian mafia in his apron, cooking in his kitchen! It's priceless. I ought to take pictures." He said jokingly.

Trying not to imagine what he could possibly do if Fei Long was actually serious, he glared at that beautiful face for a brief moment. "Sweetheart, instead of just sitting there on your throne and making fun of me why don't you get your perfect ass down here and help me for a change?" He complained as he picked up the knife and went back to work on the meat.

He smirked at the suggestion. "Sorry, sweetheart, but I don't work for anything less than a million. You manage. I watch."

He lifted his knife and pointed at Fei Long in warning. "Then, your Highness, please just shut up and watch."

After deciding to be agreeable for once, he sat quietly and watched as those rough hands worked the knife, skillfully trimming away the fat on the rack of lamb like a real professional. His eyes narrowed as he focused on the task at hand. A few strands of those golden curls fell over his forehead disorderly, framing his perfectly sculpted face in a very casual yet adorable way. Mikhail really knew what he was doing, and he even looked good doing it.

"My God, you really can cook." He couldn't help saying that out loud.

A smirk appeared on his face as he looked up from the meat. "I don't just cook. I cook very well, thank you."

"How come?" It was surprising, of course, considering that he, himself, never had to cook before in his life and Mikhail's upbringing shouldn't be any different.

"Dad loves to cook. It's his favorite hobby. I helped around in the kitchen a lot ever since I was young." He said without looking up from the cutting board. There was always affection in those eyes when he spoke of his father. "He's most relaxed when he cooks and we love to be around him when he does. Alexei used to say, that dad is in his best mood with a knife in his hand." He laughed lightly as he recalled those words.

Fei Long listened quietly with tenderness reflected on his face. Despite his rather harsh reputation, Mikhail was actually very gentle and can be very loving. It was only then that he realized the affection from his father had a lot to do with it. Vladimir was truly a great man and he has raised at least one incredible son.

"Well, I'm impressed." He smiled sincerely with his compliment.

"I'm a man who can provide, sweetheart." Mikhail looked up briefly and winked.

"I'm not your wife."

He lifted his brow and spoke with mockery in his voice. "Of course, not. If you were you'd be cooking and washing dishes instead of me. Now will you pass me some rosemary please?"

Fei Long stared at the vegetables on the island quietly, wondering why Mikhail even expected him to know what uncooked rosemary would look like.

Realizing that he might be asking for the impossible, Mikhail sighed and pointed at the sprigs of rosemary on the plate. "The dark green, small, pointy leaf thing on your right. The one that smells like you."

Fei Long lifted a stem and held it to his nose in curiosity. "It does?"

"Yes, it does, sweetheart." He took the stem from Fei's hand and gave him a brief kiss on the lips. "Among other things."

After placing rosemary leaves on the rack of lamb and shoving it into the oven, Mikhail turned around and started making salad. "Fei, what dressing?" He looked up and asked.  
"I don't know. What can you make?"

"Anything. Actually, I think we have some blue cheese in the fridge." He turned to the refrigerator and grabbed himself a chunk of blue cheese and sour cream.

In less than ten minutes he managed to whip up the dressing without difficulty. Dipping his finger into the creamy white dressing, he turned to Fei Long. "Here, taste this. See if it's too sour."

Fei Long hesitated a little before taking the finger in his mouth, sucking the creamy dressing off his finger slowly and hearing a satisfactory moan from Mikhail's throat. "It's good." He commented, dragging his silky voice as he let the finger slid free from his lips.

"Are you sure?" He asked as his heartbeat accelerated by the minute.

"Taste it yourself." Fei leaned back on his elbow and peeked through his long lashes seductively.

Keeping his eyes on those warm, wet lips, Mikhail swallowed as he dipped his finger into the dressing, coating it with a thicker layer of the white, creamy substance. His breath quickened as he leaned forward and held his finger to Fei's lips in a gesture for him to accept it into his mouth.

"I said to taste it yourself." He protested quietly.

Parting those lips open slowly with his finger, he leaned closer and slowly licking the dressing off the soft skin around Fei's mouth. "Yes, but I want to know what it taste like in your mouth." He whispered softly, purring in between as his breath quickened. Just the thought of being inside the Fei Long's mouth could always make him hard.

Fei Long lifted himself up slightly to take Mikhail's finger, letting it slide deep into the back of his throat before drawing back and let Mikhail's lips pressed onto his instead. A soft moan forced its way out as he felt Mikhail's wet tongue entwined with his own, savoring the taste of dressing from every possible place inside his mouth.

Rough hands made their ways down to unbutton his shirt slowly as his lips followed, kissing him from the nape of his neck down to his chest. The warmth of Mikhail's quickened breaths on his skin and the softness of those lips pressing on his body had him twitching and moaning uncontrollably underneath the solid muscle of Mikhail's broad chest.

Fei Long bit his lower lips in anticipation as those rough hands slipped off his trousers and wrapped around his erection. With his free hand, Mikhail lifted Fei's chin up to face him, brushing his lips on his cheek as he spoke softly. "Let me look at you."

He could feel his heart pounding against his chest as he looked into those loving blue eyes. Mikhail could almost make love to him with those eyes alone. The intensity of his desire in them pinned him down with no hope of escaping that embrace.

"God must be showing off when he made you." Mikhail said softly, running the back of his hand down Fei's face in admiration. Keeping his eyes locked on that beautiful face in front of him, he began to stroke Fei's erection, pushing him closer to his limits with every move.

A few plates crashed down on the floor from his attempt to grab hold of his sanity as Mikhail took his erection into his mouth. No one knew how to push him to the edge like he did. No lips knew how to work his body as those lips. Nothing, and no one, could strip him completely of his self-control like having sex with Mikhail Arbatov, the one man extraordinary enough to have him completely wrapped around his fingers with so little effort.

Knowing he was about to reach his limits, he grabbed the soft golden curls in his hands and pushed himself further into the warmth of Mikhail's mouth, straining every muscle in his body and cried out the sound that was music to Mikhail's ears as he came.

"God, that was the best thing I've ever tasted in my life." He wiped the trace of semen from his lips and licked his thumb cleaned as if he was tasting a world-class delicacy.

A loving smile appeared on his face as he looked at his beautiful lover still trying to catch his breath, his flawless skin turned slightly red from the rush of blood in his veins. He reached out to tuck the silk strands of Fei's hair behind his ears gently as he spoke. "Tell me you enjoyed that as much as I did."

Fei Long chuckled and raked his hand through the soft curls he adored. "Misha, you idiot. Isn't it obvious? Now stop asking me stupid questions and get back to work. I'm still hungry."

"For once, Fei, could you at least try not to be so...." He paused to think of a word that best describe Fei's behavior then rolled his eyes and sighed as he gave up, "you." What was he going to do? Fei was always going to be Fei, and to love him was to love everything about him. "Oh hell, never mind. There are some Crème Brûlèe in the fridge. Grab some. Perhaps it will sweeten you up a bit."

After putting his shirt and trousers back on but leaving the buttons undone, Fei Long jumped down from the island and got himself the Crème Brûlèe. He leaned back over the edge of the island, facing Mikhail as he scooped the sweet cream into his mouth.

"Is that good?" asked ëthe man who provides.'

He paused for a moment before putting a spoonful of Crème Brûlèe in Mikhail's mouth.

"I love Crème Brûlèe." Mikhail moaned softly as the sweet scream reached his tongue and kissed Fei briefly on his forehead. "But being fed Crème Brûlèe by you puts me in heaven."

"Oh I'm sure I can do more than that." He said as he puts another spoonful in his mouth and brushed his lips over Mikhail's. "Don't you want to know what it tastes like in my mouth?"

The sudden rush of blood in his veins made him dizzy. His heart must have skipped a few beats just by hearing those words. The old reserved and rigid Fei Long was enough to put him on a leash, but this new agreeable and seductive Fei Long was almost lethal enough to finish him off with a heart attack with just a few words. Trying not to pounce on the beautiful being in front of him like a mad man, he restrained himself to kissing those lips passionately, devouring the sweet taste of Crème Brûlèe mixed with the unforgettable taste of Fei Long.

Slowly becoming overwhelmed by the raw desire for the exotic beauty in his arms, he quickly removed his own shirt. His skin craved the feeling of Fei's on his, the same way his lips craved to kiss every inch of that body.

Long elegant fingers reached up to his face and cradled it in his hands. "Misha, why are you holding back?" He could see it in those blue eyes, the raw desire that was burning him alive. The expression on his face was almost agony.

"Is it that obvious?" He asked under heavy, uneven breaths.

"I know you."

Those words were enough for him to bind himself to Fei Long for the rest of his life. Fei Long may very well be the reason he's alive, the one purpose he was who he was, where he was in the world, to meet him, to love him, and to be right here in his arms.

"I don't want to hurt you." He answered in a whisper, still trying to keep himself sane.

"You can't." Fei Long spoke softly in his ear. "You never did, and you never will." Mikhail always puts him first and foremost. Contrary to what anyone may have believed, he was more than capable of being that gentle. No one had ever loved him as much, no one had ever treasured him to this extent. "If you can't be yourself with me, then what am I here for?"

He leaned forward and kissed those lips with all he had, letting go of the very desire that threatened to explode in his veins. It was in that moment that he realized his feelings were understood, and his love appreciated. Strong, rough hands seized to possess every inch of the man he loved, thanking God for every moment that Fei Long was in his arms. Fei Long accepted his every touch, no matter how rough, and not caring that it might leave enough bruises to last him for a week.

When he could hold back no longer, Mikhail reached for the bottle of olive oil on the island and lubricated his fingers before sliding them inside to prepare his lover, earning him a soft moan from those beautiful lips. After making sure that Fei Long was ready he removed his fingers and pushed himself in as slowly as his sanity allowed him to.

Fei Long shuddered relentlessly with every thrust he made, moaning the very sound that sent Mikhail biting his lips to hold back his climax.

"Fei, if you make any more sounds I'm going to lose it for good." As if there was anything more erotic than seeing the most beautiful creature in the world writhing helplessly underneath him, Fei Long had to cry out the sound that threatened his sanity to no end.

Tilted his head backwards and hanging on to dear life, he felt like damning Mikhail to eternity. "What makes you think I'm not losing it myself?"

Perhaps the heater was set a little too high, or perhaps it was the vigorous act of sex that increased the temperature in that room substantially enough for tiny beads of sweat to drip down both their bodies. Mikhail leaned forward and kissed him as he thrust deeper and harder, sending them both on the edge of oblivion. Fei Long could feel drops of sweat trickled down Mikhail's face and made their way into their mouths as they continued to kiss. Knowing he was close, Mikhail wrapped his hand around Fei's erection and started to stroke with the rhythm of his thrusts. The beautiful body in his arms, now slippery from the mixture of both their perspiration, twitched violently and strained for a few seconds as they both came, that, accompanied by the sound that made Fei Long glad Mikhail decided to dismiss the staffs.

"Now you know why I had to dismiss all staffs." Mikhail said, laughing lightly as he tried to catch his breath.

Fei Long closed his eyes and wiped the sweat off his face. "I was thinking about that myself actually." Slowly rising up from the island, he looked at himself and sighed in disgust. "I'm a mess. I need a bath."

Mikhail smiled and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek. "You go ahead. I'm going to finish up here. I'm almost done anyway."

 

***

Stepping slowly into the oversized Jacuzzi filled to the brim with warm, soothing water, Fei Long rested his head down and closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the scent of calming chamomile infused bath that surrounded him.

"Fei."

He startled as Mikhail touched him on the shoulder. He must have drifted off for a while.  
"I exhausted you, didn't I?" Mikhail smiled gently as he took off his clothes and stepped into the Jacuzzi.

"It's the chamomile salt." Fei Long answered wearily as he made room for Mikhail to sit down behind him. "You're done?"

"I'm done." He sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around Fei's waist lovingly, nipping him on the shoulder as he spoke. "and you, sweetheart, are so mine now after this."

Fei Long snickered quietly in his throat. "You wish."

"Oh, but you're loving this though, am I right?" He kissed the nape of that elegant neck before him softly, wondering how Fei Long managed to smell so good all the time.

"I love a lot of things." He protested quietly, leaning back onto Mikhail's body behind him. It must have been the warm bath and the chamomile salt that made him quite agreeable.

"Like what?" Mikhail asked in a whisper as he reached for the sponge and squeezed the water onto Fei's upper arm.

After pausing for a moment to think of his answers, he went through his words slowly with his silky-smooth voice as he enjoyed the feel of warm water dripping on his body, "Books. Operas.... My afternoon tea....."

Even if he already knew all that, hearing Fei spoke of the things he loved with such tenderness in his voice was music to his ears.

"What else?" Rough hands brushed over the soft skin on his arms gently as he asked.

Fei Long paused for a few seconds before he continued with his eyes closed, imagining the things he loved as he described them. "The softness of silk on my skin.... Tao combing my hair."

Pressing his lips softly on Fei's shoulder as his hands continued to feel the softness of his lover's skin, he murmured, "...and?"

There was a few seconds of silence before Fei Long uttered the words that put butterflies in his stomach.

"....Your rough hands on me.... The soft curls of your hair around my fingers.... The scent of your aftershave." He lifted his chin and tilted his face to the side as Mikhail kissed him harder on the side of his neck. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes and let the words escaped from this throat in nearly a whisper, "Us. Now."

If there was such a thing as heaven on earth, this had to be the closest thing to it. Strong hands spun around the slender body in front of him and pressed it close into his embrace, trialing his fingers down Fei's back as he kissed those precious lips. "My turn?" He asked lovingly, cradling his lover's body covered with droplets of warm water in his arms.

"Your turn." Fei Long gave him one of his rare gentle smiles as he raked his hand through Mikhail's wet curls.

"My Lamborghinis.... Good wine..... Planes-I love flying." He went through his list slowly, pausing in between from time to time to kiss those lips he could never get enough of. "...Ella Fitzgerald.... Coffee."

"Almond Biscotti." Fei added. Mikhail laughed quietly and seized himself another kiss before he reached up and glided the back of his hand down Fei's cheek tenderly as he continued.

"You drinking tea.... The look on your face when you read...Your hair." He took Fei's hand in his and kissed it as he spoke. "Your hands in my hair."

Fei Long moaned softly as Mikhail kissed the skin below his collarbone as his hand trailed slowly down his back. "Your skin." He whispered. "The taste of you in my mouth." Mikhail said softly, pausing in between to treat himself with the taste of those lips he adored. "The sound you make when I kiss you."

Breaking free from the kiss, he cradled the beautiful face between his hands and looked into those amethyst eyes as he proclaimed, "Us. Now."

 

***

Vladimir paused for a moment before sitting down at the dining table where only Alexei was present. "Why is Mikhail not at the table?" A trace of irritation was present in his voice. It was expected that all family members join the table at dinner when they were around. Now that both his sons have just returned from years abroad, he was expecting at least that much.

Alexei gestured at the other empty place on the table that had been set for Fei Long and looked back at his father. "They left for the log house this morning. I don't think you should expect them for a few days."

A tiny crease appeared between his father's eyebrows for a split second which made Alexei smiled in content the moment he saw it. Vladimir Arbatov was known to never show his feelings. Even among his sons it took very careful observations for them to understand the mood their father was in or whether or not he found something pleasant. For the man that he was, a crease between his eyebrows meant something was about to be done.

"I had to organize all this to get him away from Fei Long. Then you brought him over. Do you want to explain yourself, Alexei?"

Alexei leaned back on his chair, drumming his finger on the table leisurely as he spoke. "You already know me, dad. I do what I want."

No one, not even Mikhail would dare say what Alexei implied to Vladimir Arbatov and gets away with it, except, of course, Alexei. For one thing it was his nature, but the fact that his father never had the heart to be angry with Alexei had a lot to do with how much he resembled his mother. That, and because of his playful nature which brought laughter into the house of Arbatov ever since he was young had soften Vladimir's heart too many times. If there was one thing he did wrong in his life, it was probably that he had indulged Alexei too much.

"Do you intend to ruin your brother's life with this, Alexei?" Vladimir asked calmly.

Pausing to sip his wine for a moment, he answered with his usual cunning smile, "I don't have a problem with Misha, Dad. But I do intend to get what I want, and if that ruins his life, it's his problem."

He looked straight into his son's eyes, demanding a direct answer. "And you want him."

"For now, yes."

Calmed and composed as always, Vladimir sipped his wine and asked, "and how does bringing him here help you in getting what you want?"

Lifting his chin up slightly, he narrowed his eyes and smiled cunningly, "Because it takes Vladimir Arbatov to make certain things happen."

Of his two sons, Alexei had always been the more cunning one ever since he was young. Mikhail was very intelligent, calculating, and wise which was why the family must go to him. But what makes Alexei special was his unfailing ability to achieve his goals. Nothing and no one, not even him, could ever stop Alexei from getting what he wanted. He knew exactly what to do and who to manipulate to get him the result he needed. If only taking over the family was what Alexei wanted and if only he were a little more disciplined, he couldn't help but wonder what a fine leader Alexei would make.

It wasn't as if he never mentioned it to Alexei, but his response was, 'Why should I suffer myself with such a burden when I can get everything I want without it?' He was blessed to have two wonderful sons he could leave his fortune with, and cursed in the way that neither of them seemed to be interested in it. Especially now that Mikhail who had always complied to whatever he wished for had found a new interest in life. If only it wasn't Liu Fei Long of Baishe, all he had to do was to get rid of the man and all his problems would be solved. Yet somehow Alexei seemed to have found a way to deal with the situation.

"What exactly do you want to happen?" He asked.

A triumphant smile appeared on his face as he realized he was one step closer to his goal. Listening to them having sex in that ballroom had left him quite irritated and impatient, yet the information he acquired from it turned out to be quite beneficial.

"I have reasons to believe there's a certain man who can turn this around for us." He explained.

"And who might that be?" His eyes narrowed in interest as he listened to what should be a very important piece of information.

A devious smile appeared on Alexei's face as he replied.

"Asami Ryuichi."

 


	15. Chapter 15

The room was completely dark, so dark that he couldn't tell where he was. The sound of heavy rain was deafening and the air was hard to breath. Suddenly, the sky flashed and lit up the room before thunder struck down violently. It was Mikhail's penthouse in Hong Kong, and Mikhail was standing by the large glass windows with his back to him.

He remembered it all too well, that night when he came back from Japan. All he wanted to do then was to rush back into those arms, to feel that warmth, to forget everything. Slowly, Mikhail turned around, his blue eyes were empty, and they looked right past him.

"Good bye." He said without one glance at his face before he walked away.

Suddenly his lungs constricted. He tried to call out his name but the sound never escaped his throat. Mikhail was disappearing through the door, and his heart was being ripped from his chest as he struggled to breathe.

In one swift move his body jerked up from the bed, his eyes wide open as he tried to catch his breath. He placed his hand over his heart as if to help settle down it's violent beating that shook his entire body.

A dream. He was having his nightmares again. Why did it feel so real? He held his breath as he turned around to look at the other side of the bed.

Empty.

Where is Mikhail? Those words echoed in his ears as he tried to gasp for air. His heartbeat quickened as he rose from the bed and stumbled through the door with his constricted lungs that were killing him.

"Fei?" A familiar voice sounded from the kitchen. Fei Long sighed in relief as soon as he saw Mikhail standing there with his coffee. He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. What was he thinking? Mikhail was right here. Why was he having nightmares in a place like this, at the log house, of all places, where they had spent the last few days in each other's arms?

"Fei?" Mikhail came up to him worriedly. Fei Long was still trembling all over. He suddenly realized he had seen him like this a few times before, when he had his nightmares. Nightmares about what happened seven years ago, about that man.

Ignoring the sharp pain in his own heart, he put his arms around the slender body and pressed Fei into his embrace, "It's that dream again, isn't it? What did he do this time?"

Fei Long listened to his heartbeat slowly subsiding. Somehow Mikhail could always calm him down the moment he wrapped those arms around him. He clung to the body in front of him tightly, as if to make sure that what he saw wasn't an illusion. Mikhail was really here. The warmth he felt on his skin was real. He wondered since when that Mikhail leaving him had become his other nightmare, one no less intense than those of Asami and his father's death.

"It wasn't about him." He buried his face into Mikhail's masculine chest, taking pleasure in the strong hands gently stroking his hair as his heartbeat quieted down. "It was about you."

Completely taken aback by those words, Mikhail froze momentarily and took a step back to look at Fei Long. "What do you mean? I give you nightmares now?" He could hardly imagine what he could have done to give Fei nightmares.

"I'm amazed myself." He chuckled as he reached up to touch the soft curls of his hair. "Don't ever get up before me." He said with a brief smile before pulling Mikhail down to a kiss.

Cradling his face between his palms, Mikhail kissed him back tenderly. The feel of cold metal pressed against his cheek, the love bracelet. Suddenly it reminded him of something that had been troubling him, of the question he had yet to ask.

"Mikhail." He looked into those blue eyes as he asked curiously. "Why didn't you tell me about taking over the family?"

The expression on Mikhail's face changed immediately as he heard those words. He paused momentarily before he answered, "I was going to."

A short answer like that told him Mikhail was reluctant to talk about it. But for whatever reason, he had to know. "When?"

Mikhail looked like he was choking on his own words. It was obviously difficult for him to answer, either that, or he just didn't want him to know. "When it's official. I hadn't made up my decision then."

"What decision? Whether or not to tell me?" He pressed on calmly but with determination in his voice.

Averting his eyes from Fei Long, he sighed heavily as he revealed what he was sure Fei would not be happy to hear. But to not give him an answer was not an option. Fei Long always gets what he demands, at least from him anyway.

With that thought in mind he sighed and gave up his answer. "Whether or not to take over."

Fei Long's eyes widened in disbelief as he heard those words. It was impossible for Mikhail to not want it. Impossible.

"Why the hesitation? Why now? You must have known it for a long time it was going to come down to you. You're the eldest son."

Somehow Mikhail seemed frustrated to hear it. His tone became immediately harsher as he spoke. "Does it ever occur to you that I might not want to leave Macau? That I don't want to be away from you?"

His answer stunned him completely. What the hell was Mikhail saying? That he'd leave such an opportunity just to stay in Macau? Without thinking he threw his words back in Mikhail's face. "Misha, that's not even a reason to give it up."

Suddenly those blue eyes became fierce, cutting through his heart like a razor-sharp blade as he spoke. "Isn't it, Fei?"

It was then that he realized what he'd just done. For him not to expect Mikhail to go that far for their relationship implied he wasn't going to do the same himself. And the worst thing about it was, that it was probably true. Leaving Baishe had never been an option, not even for Mikhail. The extent of Mikhail's love for him was beyond his ability to give back. There was no excuse for it.

Fei Long closed his eyes as he imagined how painful it must have been painful for him to hear those words, but what Mikhail may never know, was how much more painful it was to him. It was torture to know how much he was loved and not being able to offer as much love in return. How would he live with the fact that he could never give Mikhail what he deserves? The one taking advantage of the relationship was him, and the fact that Mikhail willingly lets him made him realize how undeserving he was for his love.

"Don't ever think about giving it up for me." A sad smile swept across his face as he spoke softly. "I won't allow it. It will work out, I promise you."

He often wondered why just a few words from Fei could always soften his heart, that no matter how many times he was hurt, he could always find it in him to forgive. After all, he knew how hard it was for Fei to open up to him and take the risk. It was wrong to expect more from him so suddenly. Just sometimes, only sometimes, he needed to know Fei was willing to try.

There was no answer from Mikhail, only a tender smile appeared on his face as he leaned over and gave him a kiss on his lips. What was in his heart then, Fei didn't need to know. All that mattered was that Fei understood how he felt, and that he was willing to accept what he was more than ready to give.

"Speaking of which, I have to leave soon." He didn't want to say it, but it was necessary. It had been almost a week since he left Hong Kong on such a short notice, and for that reason, no matter how much he wanted to, he could not stay for long.

He had expected Mikhail to pout and make a big fuss out of it as usual, but to his surprise all he did was nodded slightly.

"I'll call for them to pick us up tomorrow."

 

***

 

The helicopter arrived back at the Moscow resident early in the afternoon. Mikhail had been rather quiet since the day before, not upset, not sad, just quiet like he had something on his mind. He was never like that when they were together. Mikhail was the kind of man who knew how to take pleasure in everything he did and never once let anything trouble him enough to ruin whatever he was doing. Yet then something was definitely troubling him to a great degree. So much so that it showed through on his face, the way he breathed, and even the way he kissed. He had asked several times but the answers were always the same: nothing. Now it just seemed that there was no point in asking. Whatever it was, Mikhail didn't want him to know. He must have had his reasons.

What was even more unusual was that he disappeared for almost the entire afternoon once they had settled back in. Knowing he was about to leave, the usual Mikhail would have never left his side. At a time like this, he had also hoped that Mikhail would stay with him a little longer.

Later that afternoon Mikhail came back to see him. There was a relief in his expression, as if he had done what he needed to do and finally gotten it all over with.

"Let's go to dinner." After all that time he disappeared, it was all he said before dragging him out the door. No explanation. Nothing. He was still curious, but at least his troubles seemed to have disappeared.

"You're okay?" Fei Long asked as they walked down the hallway towards the dining room.

Mikhail paused for a moment and smiled. Reaching his arm behind the slender waist, stroking Fei's lower back lovingly with his fingers, he said softly, "You're worried about me? How sweet."

Sweet? That word had never been used to address him before, and it'd better not be used, period. Fei Long snickered as he replied, "Worried? No. You freaked me out." It was true, the reserved and quiet Mikhail was rather freaky. Even now that he no longer seemed troubled, he was still a bit down and certainly not in his best moods.

He turned to look at Mikhail who suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. Those blue eyes intensified as he stared at something in front of him. The look he saw on Mikhail's face was something he'd never forget for the rest of his life, one so threatening that sent a shiver down his back and automatically forced him to retreat in fear of the man next to him. Yes, fear. That wasn't the Mikhail he knew. It was someone else, someone cruel, cold-blooded, vicious, and brutal enough to make him feel threatened.

"Fei Long?" A familiar voice sounded from down the hallway, the only voice in the world he dreaded to hear. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine that it was all a bad dream that he had not woken up from. He wasn't ready for this, not here of all places, not now that he and Mikhail just understood each other.

How does he face the man who had raped him, here, in front of Mikhail?

He turned around and confirmed his fear. "Asami."

It was Asami Ryuichi in the flesh, walking down the hallway with Alexei. Blood drained from his face as the memories of that day rushed through his mind. That dreadful memory that he thought he had managed to lock up somewhere came back to him with the force that almost knocked him off his balance. He didn't know if it was pain or anger he felt, but it hit him with the intensity that made him sick to his stomach. Unconsciously, he found himself reaching for support.

Blood rushed through his veins as his heartbeat accelerated. He could barely feel Fei Long's hand on his arm as he looked at the man who had now became his most hated enemy. Uncontrollable rage consumed him as he recalled Fei Long's words on what happened in Japan. Even now he could still see the bruises on that beautiful body, bruises that he originally thought resulted from acts of pleasure. The red marks around those elegant wrists he adored remained in his mind. A trace of dried blood on the inside of his thighs was still vivid in his memory.

The fire in his heart consumed him as he imagined what might have happened that day. It must have hurt like hell. He could just see that flawless face twisted in pain, he could imagine Fei's screams echoing in his ears. His Fei, his beautiful Fei that he treasured and adored more than life itself, made to suffer and tainted by the hands of this man.

"What the fuck are you doing here in my house?" Mikhail said quietly through tightly gritted teeth, trying his best to get his explanations before reaching for his gun so he could shoot the fucking bastard in the head once and for all.

As always, Asami had the usual smirk on his face, only now those golden eyes became intensified and acutely alert knowing full well he was under serious threat. It wasn't often that he felt like cursing himself over anything, but the fact that he came unknowingly of Fei Long's presence here made him do just that. Moreover, he was under the impression that they had split up as he had planned. But since Fei Long was here they must have gotten back together, and that irritated him enough to make him do what was considered unwise given the situation.

Walking right up to Mikhail, Asami blew the smoke from his cigarette and spoke in almost a whisper, "It's your father's house. And you're only living here, just as you're using something that belongs to me."

In a blink of an eye Asami's body flew across the hallway, smashing into the walls. Just seconds later a gun went off and put a hole in the wall right next to his ear. That Russian bastard aimed right at his head and missed by just an inch. Instinctively he reached for his gun and was ready to aim. Yet what he saw before him managed to freeze him dead on that cold floor.

There, in that hallway, Fei Long stood firmly right between him and the Russian with his hand on Arbatov's gun. That shot didn't just miss. Had Fei Long not interfered he would have been dead by now.

But why?

"Move." Mikhail's voice deepened as he stared into Fei Long's eyes with deadly determination. Those blue eyes that used to be full of affection when they looked upon him had turned furiously cold. Mikhail was serious. There were no warning shots, no hesitation. That shot was aimed right at his head. Mikhail meant to kill, and kill he would without a second thought if he hadn't interfered.

"Fei. I mean it." He repeated quietly and calmly yet with the tone that sounded more dangerous than the bullet itself.

Fei Long swallowed the bile in his throat and stared back at him. "I can't do that." He said firmly. "You will have to shoot me."

No matter how much he dreaded Asami, and no matter how much it would hurt Mikhail, he couldn't let Asami be killed. Not right now. There were things he needed to know, unfinished business he had to finish, and things in his heart that needed answers.

The pain he saw in those blue eyes was as if Mikhail had been shot himself right at that moment. And in a way he had. Shot in the heart by the man he loved enough to kill for, by the very man he tried to protect.

A sharp pain pierced through his heart as he watched Mikhail take the situation that practically destroyed him right before his very eyes. How could he ever forgive himself for what he did, for protecting Asami? All Mikhail ever did was love him. Yet pain was all he ever gave Mikhail. And pain was all he had to give.

"That's enough. Put your guns down. I will not tolerate this in my house." Deep, dignifying voice sounded from behind him. No one seemed to know how long Vladimir had been standing there, but as soon as he had spoken, the whole room seemed to obey. After all, it was Vladimir Arbatov, the one man who could always attained his respects by just being there.

Mikhail took one look at his father before putting his gun away and left in complete silence. Just as Fei Long was about to follow, Vladimir stepped in front of him and blocked his way. "There is something I wish to speak to you about if you don't mind." He addressed him politely.

Fei Long took a deep breath before nodding quietly and followed Vladimir into his study. Perhaps it was better to give Mikhail some time alone, and perhaps he needed time to collect himself before facing Mikhail.

After watching Fei Long disappeared into the study with Vladimir Arbatov, Asami pushed himself up slowly.

"You ok?" Alexei asked as he offered Asami his hand, which was naturally ignored.

"That was close, wasn't it?" He added with the usual cunning smile on his face. "You have to be much quicker than that, dealing with my brother. He does that a lot, you know? Shoot you with no warning."

After being shot at by the older Arbatov and practically commanded by their father, Alexei somehow managed to get on his nerve the most. After all that life and death situation, the damn brat had the nerve to just stand there and watch with that amusing look on his face, which could only give one explanation.

"You've planned all this, haven't you?" He asked, reaching inside his pocket for his cigarette case.

"What exactly do you think I've planned?" Alexei smiled as he helped himself with one of Asami's cigarettes, pausing to ask after and not before, "Do you mind?"

"No." He answered as he lit his own joint and tossed Alexei the lighter.

"Let me guess," pausing for a moment to draw in the smoke and filled his lungs, Asami continued, "you want Fei Long."

Alexei smiled cunningly as he casually replied, "Don't we all?"

He had underestimated the younger Arbatov completely. For a young man who never had a hand in the underworld dealings before, Alexei had potential.

"Smart move." He had to compliment the kid. "But if you think you can manipulate me to get what you want, think again, boy. The underworld isn't a place for you to play." Vicious golden eyes glared at Alexei as he casually warned the arrogant brat.

With a devious smile, Alexei stepped in front of Asami and blew smoke on his face. "Well, I've got you exactly where I wanted, haven't I? And you've done a marvelous job of what you were brought here to do. I’d call that an accomplishment, wouldn't you say?” He said with his usual playful tone before walking away. He wasn’t about to waste any more time with a pawn that had been put in place and completed its job.

"You're on dangerous grounds, young Arbatov. Watch your back." Asami said in irritation, his hand itched for his gun. Luckily his conscience stopped him. It just wasn't wise to get into a feud with the Arbatovs. The Russian mafia was too powerful and he had much to profit as an alliance than their enemy.

"Oh please, you're scaring me." Unaffected by any threat as always, Alexei waved his hand in the air without turning around. "And wipe that blood off your face, will you? Grandpa?"

 

***

"Please take a seat." Vladimir stood waiting for Fei Long to sit down. Despite his seniority, Vladimir had always given him the respect he deserved as a leader of equal position. He seemed to know exactly who and what he was dealing with.

"I'd rather stand, thank you." He declined politely. It wasn't the time he could sit down and relax, not after what just happened. Besides, one should always be alert and on guard when dealing with a man like Vladimir Arbatov.

Vladimir nodded silently and looked straight at him for a moment before he decided to speak. "You know, I remember you when you were just a boy. And then I thought, what a charming boy you were. If only my sons would learn to be so graceful." He recalled.

"And you've grown rather beautifully,” he said in admiration, “enough to catch both my son's eyes."

Fei Long smiled as soon as he heard the last sentence. So, Vladimir was worried, after all. Not that it surprised him in anyway. He had expected it the moment he arrived in Moscow.

“And that bothers you.” Fei Long asked with his silky-smooth voice.

"I don't have a problem with my sons' sexual interest, Fei Long." He paused to study the expression on the young Baishe leader's face for a moment before he continued. "But I do have a problem when it threatens the wellbeing of my family."

At this point he was quite sure Vladimir recognized the problem between the brothers. Still, it wasn't something their father should be talking to him about. "I'm afraid you will have to talk to your son about it, your younger son to be exact." He said respectfully.

"Alexei is not a problem. Mikhail is." Vladimir drew his breath and sighed with no change in his expression. It was always difficult to tell how he felt. The man controlled his emotions extremely well.

"He asked me to let Alexei take his place today."

Those words stunned him into complete silence. A violent surge of mixed emotions flooded him with the force that sent him grabbing the back of a chair to keep from trembling uncontrollably. Mikhail was serious. And he had decided on something this important without even talking to him about it.

"I see it's also a surprise to you." Vladimir said calmly, watching his every reaction with razor-sharp eyes.

"He hasn't told me." He replied quietly, trying to think of what to do. One thing for sure, he was about to have a serious talk with Mikhail about all this.

"Mikhail has been raised to take over the family. He had been carrying that responsibility all his life. It has always been painful to me that I could never give him the childhood he deserves, and I would have been happy for him that he found someone he loves. If only it wasn’t the head of Baishe he chose."

For once, Fei Long could see a brief sadness in those eyes. The sincerity in his voice told him it wasn't a lie. It was as difficult for him to say these things as it was for Fei Long to listen to it.

"I will not let him give it up, Vladimir." He said with determination in his voice. He would never let it happen.

To that, Vladimir only smiled. "It's not for you to say." He declared. "Mikhail loves you. I have never seen him looked at anyone the way he looks at you. Which is why I'm not surprised that he was willing to go as far as to give up everything for you.” He paused and stared into Fei Long’s amethyst eyes for a brief moment.

“The question is, Fei Long, are you willing to go that far for him?"

Vladimir knew exactly where and how to strike him. That man had seen through it all, his problems, his insecurity, as well as the trouble in his heart that made their relationship vulnerable. Whether it was a calculated measure to get him away from his son, or that it really stemmed from the love of a father, the old man couldn't have handled it better.

Completely speechless from trying to organize his own thoughts, he looked away as Vladimir rested his hand on his shoulder.

"Let him go, Fei Long. You know as well as I do he deserves much more than this. By keeping him you will strip everything that is good from him, and that feud with Asami will put him at risk." The gentleness in that voice squeezed at his heart mercilessly. He closed his eyes as Vladimir's words embedded in his mind.

"You," He emphasized. "put him at risk."

 

***

There, in his room Mikhail stood motionlessly facing the window. The silence in that room made his heart constricted, knowing full well that Mikhail was aware of his presence yet refused to acknowledge it. He kept his distance and waited quietly for him to initiate the conversation. There was no excuse for what he did, and Mikhail had every right to be angry. Perhaps Vladimir would get what he wanted without him having to do a single thing.

That body by the window swayed a little before he finally uttered his words. "You know," he paused for a few seconds to draw his breath. "All I could think of then was why you were standing there and not by my side."

It would have been better if Mikhail was furious. Yet he was far from angry. Those words were spoken with heartbreaking calmness, as if it was something he had come to accept as a part of everyday life.

Fei Long stood in silence, listening to every word that cut through his bleeding heart like a sharp blade.

"And then I realize I already know the answer." He said quietly, raking his hand through his soft, golden curls. His blue eyes still gazed out the window as he spoke softly, as if he was talking to himself, repeating to himself what he had always known.

"The worst thing about it is, that no matter how pride-swallowing this becomes, or how much it tears at my heart, I just don't know how to leave you."

Fei Long closed his eyes and tried to suppress the pain in his heart as he heard those words. He walked up to Mikhail with a heavy heart, wrapping his arms around the warmth of that body from behind and rested his forehead on the strong shoulder that he had come to love.

For once in his life, he was glad to be alive. Glad to have known what it felt like to be loved by someone to that extent. It was a memory that would last for a lifetime, even if that love would soon be lost, even if he had to let go.

 

*****


	16. Chapter 16

Long, elegant fingers twirled the soft, golden curls that wrapped around it lovingly, taking great care not to disturb their owner from his sleep. Fei Long smiled gently as he rested on his elbow, watching the man who still held him tight with both arms around his waist sleep so peacefully. There was a certain comfort in Mikhail's embrace that he never realized until recently. Somewhere along the way it had become something he craved each morning, to be right here, to feel this warmth against his skin, to see that face smile at him and those blue eyes sparkled as they looked upon him.

If only he could keep all this, keep those arms around him, and keep these soft curls wrapped around his fingers....

He brushed his fingers softly on the handsomely chiseled face he had come accustomed to, slowly imprinting each little details in his mind, golden lashes that were even longer than his, the roughness of his cheeks where he failed to shave that tickled when he kissed, the perfect shape of his nose that nudged the nape of his neck lovingly when they made love, and those lips that always kissed him with so much affection.

"I love you." He said softly, hoping that what he never had the courage to say out loud would somehow be heard in his dreams. "I've never once told you that, have I?" He wondered if Mikhail ever knew, if he would ever know. The silky-smooth voice trembled a little as the sound dissipated to a mere whisper. "I do." He closed his eyes, trying to control the sharp pain rising in his heart. "I really do."

Slowly pushing the arms that held him away, he rose quietly from the bed and put on his clothes. His suitcases were still packed from the trip back from the log house. All he had to do was walk out that door. Yet somehow it was the hardest thing in his life, the hardest decision he had ever made.

"Fei?" A low, throaty voice sounded quietly from behind. Fei Long froze at the realization of what he was about to go through. "What are you doing?"

He closed his eyes as he drew himself a deep breath before turning around to look back in the direction of that voice. Mikhail was now sitting up on the bed, half awake, waiting for him to make his response.

"I'm leaving." He replied, his hand closed into a tight fist.

Mikhail raked one hand through his hair and tucked away his curls. "So soon? If you can wait a few more days I would go back with you." His father had not yet approved of his decision, and even if it wasn't important, he would need a few more days to get ready.

"You." Fei Long said as his eyes met Mikhail's. "I'm leaving you."

Crippling silence flooded the room for a full minute as their eyes locked together. It was as if time stood still in that moment of revelation. His lungs constricted as he anticipated Mikhail's reaction to his decision.

"What?" Mikhail's voice barely escaped his throat as the meaning of those words finally hit him.

That moment he knew the look in those blue eyes would haunt him for the rest of his life. They stared at him with frightening sadness and pain that ripped his heart to pieces that day. He had planned to leave without such confrontation, without having to see Mikhail take it right in front of him.

"Your father told me." He said in an expressionless tone. "Do you really think I would let that happen?"

Mikhail sighed heavily as he realized what might have caused Fei's unimaginable decision to leave. Those blue eyes narrowed as he spoke firmly, "It's not up to you, Fei Long." His eyes demanded that his words were taken seriously. It wasn't for Fei to decide. This was his decision, his life.

"I know." He swallowed the bile in his throat with difficulty. "And that is why I'm doing this." The piercing pain in his chest accumulated to the point that it had became difficult for him to breathe much less to stand still. He had to leave that room. Leave, before everything falls apart, and he could no longer find the strength to walk away.

Mikhail rushed in front of him, grabbed his arm and spun him around violently. "I am not letting you walk out that door." The intensity of that voice told him he was furious, his hand gripped his arm with the force that made Fei cried out in pain momentarily.

Mikhail had never used that tone of voice with him nor hurt him physically like this. He had driven an affectionate and gentle man into a corner that it was no longer possible for him to be gentle. To see him in that state was more than he needed to curse himself over it for the rest of his life.

"Mikhail." He said halfheartedly. "You know this isn't easy for me."

Strong hands seized him and pushed him against the wall. As if it wasn't hard enough for him to leave as it was, Mikhail had to give him the kiss that could always put him into submission. He didn't need to feel it again. Not this. Not now.

Mikhail's body was trembling, though not too different from his own. Torn between his own desire to stay in that embrace and his own conscience, Fei Long struggled with the poor excuse of the strength he had left in his limbs.

"No." Unconvincing words of rejection escaped his lips, each time being forced back into his throat with Mikhail's kisses that aimed at his tortured heart.

With the last measurement of strength that was left in him, Fei Long pried those rough hands off his body, tearing out his own heart with it. "I'm not going to let you ruin your life for me."

Unable to control the rage in his chest any longer, Mikhail shoved the slender body hard against the wall. "It's my life! Don't you dare tell me how to live it." He was screaming. Mikhail Arbatov, the one man who had always been cool and in control, was screaming, at him. The agonizing pain in those eyes was more than enough to show what state he was in. He wished he wasn't there to see it. He wished he wasn't there to witness a strong and extraordinary man like him being completely destroyed right before his eyes, by his own hands.

He had never been prepared to see Mikhail breaking down like this, never once thought he would be standing here, saying these words to the man who loved him. He took a deep breath and tried to collect himself. Yet no matter how hard he tried, his voice did not fail to tremble. "I'm not telling you how to live. I'm telling you to do so without me."

Dark amethyst eyes looked right into his with unwavering determination. Whenever there was that expression on his face, Mikhail knew no force on earth was going to change his mind. As much as it seemed impossible for Fei Long to reconsider, it was also impossible for him to simply let go. All his life he had never thought he would care so much for someone, or that he would need someone to this extent. Fei Long had become everything to him, a part of life that made life itself worth living.

No. He would not let go. Not even if Fei Long tear his heart to pieces. Not even if he had to suffer for it 'till eternity.

He rested his head on Fei's shoulder, trying to hang on to whatever hope there might be left. "What is it going to take, Fei?" He asked in a whisper, with a voice so shaken that almost brought tears to his eyes if only he could cry, and he would gladly cry for this man and this man alone. "You want me to stay here, I'll stay. I'll take over the family. We'll see each other three times a year if that's all you can give me. Just don't do this." Those blue eyes looked right at him as he pleaded. "I need you."

I need you.

Those words stabbed him like a hundred needles piercing through his heart all at once. He closed his eyes and swallowed the bile in his throat before saying the only thing left that would convince Mikhail to let go, the truth that he had refused to admit for seven years.

"I'm not over him."

Fei Long could swear he saw a glimpse of tears forming in those blue eyes as they looked at him with such profound sadness. But what hurt the most were the words that followed. "You don't think I already know?" He said with a sarcastic smile that wasn't just sarcastic, it was pride swallowing and heartbreaking to see.

"It's because you know that I can no longer do this." He said softly as his hand grasped the cylindrical pendent on his neck and slowly let it sank down on Mikhail's palm. It was the very thing that brought them back together, a symbol of love, of possession, and now of sacrifice that for once, he was the one making it in place of Mikhail.

"Take this as my answer. You know what it means. Whatever bound you to me is no more." There was a strange calmness on his face as he touched and held Mikhail's rough hand for a few seconds before letting go and walked away.

He closed the door behind him and stood in front of the room momentarily. What he was leaving behind in that room wasn't just Mikhail Arbatov, it was a part of him that had learnt to trust someone, to want someone, and to love like everyone else. But a normal life he had not been given the privilege of. And such love was more than he deserved. It was the right decision, the only thing he had to give the one man he had come to love: A chance of life without this much pain. Mikhail will find someone to love that proves a better lover than he was, someone else who deserves to be loved by him.

Mikhail stood in silence staring at the small object in his palm, trembling at the thought of what just happened. Fei Long had left him. All that he had tried and endured up to this day had lost its meaning. At first it was anger that filled his heart. Anger, that was a result of his incapability of making him stay. But what else was there to do? He had offered everything he had to offer and spilled his heart until there was nothing left a secret, until there was nothing left of his own heart.

His relationship with Fei Long had always been fragile, but this time it was different. Everything was out in the open. There was no miscommunication, no misunderstanding, no secrets from either one of them. Fei Long simply wanted to end it and the look on that beautiful face told him nothing would ever change his mind. It was a decision carefully made with reasons, not one out of some emotional rush. Yet no matter how reasonable it might have been to leave him, he couldn't help but feel the intense anger in his chest.

He knew Fei Long never treasured their relationship as much as he did, but he was willing to live with it and the fact that the Japanese bastard would always be between them. It was all he asked for, and Fei Long wouldn't give him at least that much.

A violent surge of pain pierced through his heart and sent him whirling the pendent against the wall. No matter how hard he tried, it just wasn't good enough. His goddamn heart wasn't good enough to replace that man. Not even good enough for Fei Long to even give it a try.

"I would have never given up on you." He murmured, burying his face in his palms, overwhelmed, for the first time in his life, in defeat and despair. "Never."

 

***

The sound of the jet engine roared as the plane ascended from the runway. Fei Long sat quietly, looking out the window to the snow covered mountains of Siberia. The memory of those few days at the log house flashed in his mind. He was glad it happened here and not in Hong Kong. Whatever happened here should stay here, along with the part of him that belonged to Mikhail Arbatov. He wished it was that simple, to cut out a part of his heart and leave it behind.

In search of a relief to the intense pain in his heart, he got up to get himself a glass of wine. Red. Italian. Full bodied, potent and yet a little sweet, the way Mikhail liked it, the characters he saw in Mikhail Arbatov.

He closed his eyes and bit down on his lips as he realized what was in his mind. Since when did he begin to like wine so much? Since when that everything he did seemed to remind him of Mikhail?

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" A familiar voice sounded right behind him. "Getting drunk while being stuck with me on the plane?"

Alexei. He had forgotten he had asked Alexei to take him back to Hong Kong instead of waiting a few more days for his own plane to pick him up, and forgotten, that Alexei had got on the plane with him. Strangely nothing seemed to get to him, not Alexei's irritating words, not him being there.

"Looks like my plan works after all." He said with the same cunning smile he always had.

"You brought him here?" It wasn't that he couldn't guess who the mastermind behind Asami's arrival in Russia was, he just wanted to know if he was right.

"It wasn't hard to convince my father to share a few trading routes and gaining a new partner for the sake of his favorite son." He replied casually, as if it was something absolutely normal. Still, it was no surprise. This, after all, was the cunning Alexei Arbatov who seems to be able to justify every action no matter how wrong or immoral as long as it gets him what he wants. But that he was so damn straight about it did make the justification sounded convincing.

"You have no shame, do you?"

"Not when I want something this bad." He said with a low, throaty voice, his green eyes shamelessly undressing the beautiful body in front of him. "And I do want to fuck you badly."

Those words coming from someone else would have sounded unforgivably rude but not from Alexei. There was a certain sincerity that Alexei radiated, and when he spoke of such things there was never a mockery in his voice. He was just straightforward. For that reason what would have sounded rude turned out to be something that was rather erotic. And instead of feeling angry he would often find himself a little embarrassed by those words.

"You simply think I would let you fuck me just because I have broken up with your brother?" It was a ridiculous idea, and one he never thought Alexei would assume.

"No. I simply think the only thing keeping you from fucking me is my brother. Now that you're no longer bound to him there is nothing to stop you from it." He said bluntly, reaching out to take a few strands of the jet-black hair in his hand and played with them sensually with his fingers.

"You forget, that I would actually have to want you for that to happen." Fei Long reminded him. He wouldn't deny that Alexei was someone he would strongly consider taking to his bed had they met before Mikhail, but now he just wasn't comfortable with the idea of being with anyone else, especially not the man who was Mikhail's brother.

"How about a little convincing?" He said seductively with the signature moan-like sound in his throat, his fingers caressed the soft, flawless cheek before him.

"Take your hands off me." Fei Long slapped his hand away in a calm, controlling manner. He didn't want to be touched by anyone else. At least not right now.

To his surprise Alexei caught his arm and forced a kiss on him, a kiss that had weakened his knees once before. No matter how straightforward he was and how many times he had made his intentions clear, Alexei never once tried to force him into submission. But now those arms wrapped around his body so tight he could hardly breathe. And those lips took his with the force that knocked him backwards against the window. Alexei pinned him to the wall with his weight as he devoured greedily the taste in his mouth, sucking away his self control with every thrust of his tongue. Alexei was too much for him to handle. He had been kissed countless times in his life, but none had ever threatened his self-control as much nor made him feel so defenseless against.

"Now tell me you don't want me." He whispered and purred in Fei's ear, still not loosening his grip on the slender body in his embrace that constantly struggled to break free.

"Get off...." His voice trailed off into short, uncontrollable breaths as Alexei brushed his lips over the side of his neck before sucking hard on his skin just under his ear, earning what would have been a satisfying moan had Fei Long not bit it back down his throat.

Pinning him in place with his larger frame, his hand started to undo the buttons on Fei's shirt quicker than he could have prevented it in that state. Alexei was attacking him with no intention of backing down. And it would have been an attempt at rape had his whole body not responded so sensitively to his touch that he found himself lacking the determination needed to break free. Especially when he could have done so physically with not much difficulty. Alexei didn't boast. His sexual capabilities were beyond his words.

He didn't know if he was holding his breath from anticipation or from fear of losing control when Alexei moved from his neck down to his chest. "Don't..." It was near impossible to utter words of resistance when he could hardly breathe as it was. Those lips skillfully pressed onto his body like they could penetrate his skin. It took him a tremendous amount of strength to hold back the cries of pleasure that were forcing their ways through his throat as he took his nipple in his mouth.

Alexei smiled. He could feel he elegant body in his arms straining forcefully even though he made very little sound. What Fei Long didn't know was that his intense struggles at restraining himself made him even harder than if he were to surrender more readily. It wasn't everyday he gets to take down a breathtakingly beautiful and defiant leopard like Fei Long, which turned out to be extremely exhilarating and certainly worth getting into a feud with his brother for.

"No." He gathered whatever strength was left in his limbs and pushed the bigger man away.

This isn't happening. He wasn't going to do this to Mikhail.

Alexei caught his arms and spun him around. Fei Long struggled but the other man being much stronger made his effort a complete failure. He was back in his arms, with Alexei holding him from behind, whispering in his ear, "Your body wants it. And you know it."

He cursed himself in his mind as he realized he was about to be forced into an act of unforgivable crime against the man he loved. Strangely, it was as different as it could be from what Asami did to him. Alexei wasn't physically violent, he was seductively violent, and that unimaginable skill of his made bondage an absolute unnecessity. It was rape and yet far from the simple definition of rape, mainly because every inch of his body called for it. Still, it was unforgivable of him to want it, even more unforgivable of Alexei to initiate it.

"He's your brother." He cursed under uneven breaths, hoping that there might still be a way out of this.

"And you've left him," He pulled Fei back hard against his body, relentlessly sucking the skin on his neck as he whispered, "or haven't you?"

No matter how true it was, or no matter how much he needed to forget Mikhail, "It's not that simple." It definitely wasn't. Mikhail meant much more to him.

"It will be. Allow me to cut that bond for you." As if those hands hadn't already made him completely defenseless, that seductive voice unique to the man himself made his heart raced shamelessly in anticipation.

"I can and will fuck you into forgetting him." He promised as his hand traveled down to slip off Fei's trousers. "In that way, I am doing you both a favor."

He could feel every muscle in his body tensing as Alexei's hand wrapped around his erection, forcing him to grab and dug his fingers into those arms to keep from losing his sanity.

"Give in to me, and I will make you scream like you've never screamed before." He whispered, his hand stroking the length of Fei's erection with the motion that sent him searching desperately for something to hang on to. In his heart he cried for Mikhail, yet every inch of his body betrayed him and ached for Alexei's touch. And in the end, his conscience had lost the battle. A loud moan escaped his lips as Alexei's hand brought him to the edge of his sanity.

 

Knowing that Fei Long was close, he reached into the wine glass and coated his fingers with the succulent red liquid before trailing his hand down to nudge on the tight opening. Fei Long wasn't the only one being brought to the edge. That beautiful moan made him rock-hard and unusually impatient. He had wanted to take more time with his prize but the need to take that beautiful creature in front of him was too overwhelming. If Fei Long could make such a pretty sound at the stroke of his hand, he couldn't help but anticipate at what gorgeous sound he would make once he was inside.

To his satisfaction, he could feel Fei Long pushing back against his hand as his fingers entered him. That beautiful face twisted in agony cried out a sound that caused Alexei to moan and drowned in his own excitement.

Unable to stand the anticipation any longer he pushed himself in slowly but forcefully into the tightness that sent the slender body in his arm flailing rather violently and crying the sound that ruined the pleasurable memory of every other moan he had heard in his lifetime. He was starting to understand why it was so hard for Mikhail to let go. How in God's name does a man part with such unimaginably beautiful and erotic creature so unrealistically perfect in every way?

Knowing full well that his inability to control his moaning was encouraging Alexei to push him for more, it was impossible for him to resist. With every thrust he found himself weakened in his limbs and slipping through those strong arms, causing Alexei to grab hold of his hips to support his weight. He had never felt so helpless in his life. With Mikhail he was always in control in some ways due to the man's gentleness, but being taken by Alexei stripped him completely of control, emotional and physical alike. Perhaps it was the intensity of his forceful thrusts, or the perfect skills of his hands, and even the sound he makes when he breathes that showed he was equally aroused, a reaction that was rare from the one taking control.

He flung his head backwards and arched his back as Alexei's fingers dug deep into the flesh on his hips, telling him that he was as close as he was. With a few more thrusts and stokes from his hand they came together with the sound that changed both their lives.

And he did scream, like he had never screamed before.

***


	17. Chapter 17

Fei Long stood in his study with his arms behind his back. The Monet oil on canvas that hung above his desk was a true masterpiece, one that used to bring him peace and tranquility every time he looked at it. Only now all it did was bring back memories that he didn't want to be reminded of, memories that he wished had been just a dream. And in a sense, it had been: a dream of a life with happiness, one that he had managed to fool himself would last.

They had known each other for less than a year. Even so Mikhail knew him almost as well as Tao when it had taken the boy years to perfect the knowledge. It takes time to get to know someone. One has to pay close attention to do so in a short period of time. And if there was one person who cared enough to pay that much attention to him, it was Mikhail Arbatov.

He never mentioned he liked Monet. Mikhail had not been to the museum with him to know he had spent hours looking at that painting. But occasionally he would pause to look at its prints when they walked pass them and without his knowledge he probably smiled. Mikhail must have picked it up somehow and bought him the painting as a surprise. It was always like that with Mikhail. He only had to look at something and smiled and the next day it would arrive on his desk, neatly wrapped and signed, 'Yours, M. Arbatov.'

Yours.

The word had been written over and over again with absolute certainty. Mikhail had always gone out of his ways to make certain it was clear to whom his heart belonged even when the favor was never returned. Yet what lied in his own heart was a secret that had been left untold, the secret that if he ever had to choose to belong to someone, he would not regret it for the rest of his life to belong to Mikhail.

A few knocks on the door announced the arrival of his plans for the day. Yoh let himself in after receiving his master's permission. "Fei Long-sama." He paid his respects as usual before approaching his master who still stood in front of the painting with his back to him. "Shall I brief you?"

Fei Long nodded quietly, still looking at the painting as if his mind was somewhere else. It had been four days since he arrived back in Hong Kong, and he had been in that state ever since. Liu Fei Long of Baishe never talked a lot, and a smile from him was rarer than a full moon that probably would never happen if it weren't for Tao. With Mikhail Arbatov around in the past few months, things had been improving gradually. But ever since he came back from Russia even Tao had not been graced with a smile, and now he could hardly remember his master's silky-smooth voice. He wasn't eating well, and he had let his tea turned cold far too many times.

"You have a meeting at ten about the Macau casino investment. The head of the five families will be there, and they expect your decision today." Yoh said with his usual formal tone as he went through the list in his hand. "Your cousin Hong, arrived from China a few days ago and he's expecting to see you over lunch before he leaves tomorrow. After that your afternoon should be free for you to make other arrangements. And your sifu would like to know when you would like your training to start."

He wouldn't blame Fei Long's kung fu master for asking. Something was definitely wrong when the man who insisted on training everyday even when he had just returned from an exhausting business trip simply skipped four days of training without even mentioning it. By now everyone in Baishe knew something happened in Russia. But who would dare ask what?

"Will you get rid of it?" His eyes were still on the painting as he spoke in almost a whisper.

"I'm sorry?" He didn't quite get what his master was talking about.

"The painting."

It was Mikhail Arbatov. Now it has been confirmed. For Fei Long to want to get rid of the painting meant they were no longer together. It was the only explanation. Yet even though he had suspected it so, he never thought the Russian would ever let him go.

"You want me to destroy it or sell it, Fei Long-sama?" No matter how much he wanted to know the truth, it wasn't his place to ask. But the answer to his question would tell him how bad the situation was.

"Just lend it to a museum somewhere, Yoh. And send Tao to help me get dressed please." He said quietly.

So it wasn't a bad break up. Fei Long wasn't angry. He merely didn't want to be reminded of the Russian. Even though the state he was in wasn't as bad as before he left for Moscow, it was still painful to see him this way. But the worst thing about it was, no matter how much he wanted to, he wasn't in the position to help. And even if he was in the position to do something, it would probably mean nothing to Fei Long. All it would do was making their relationship more complicated and making Fei Long uneasy around him, which was the last thing he needed. For now, all he could do was to stay by Fei Long's side, and do what he could to relieve at least some troubles in his heart.

Before he was about to excuse himself, Yoh glanced at the table and saw his breakfast remained untouched. The sight of that would send tears to Tao's eyes if he knew.

"Will you have some breakfast before you leave? Tao is worried sick about you. He has been crying for the last few days." If there was one person in the compound that could make Fei Long do things against his will, it was Tao.

"Thank you, Yoh. You may leave." He said coldly and kept his back to his trusted bodyguard until he heard the door closing behind him.

Yes, there was still Tao. He was everything to the boy, at least for now. One day Tao would grow up to be a man. And he would give Tao the freedom he deserves, even if it meant he has to be parted from the boy.

Slowly, he walked to the table where his breakfast sat waiting and picked up his tea. He still had Tao, and would spend whatever time he had left with the boy well. Whether or not it was possible with less than half the heart he had left, he would try.

 

***

The meeting was held at one of Hong Kong's most luxurious hotel. Yoh opened the door and accompanied his master into the meeting room already filled by the heads of Hong Kong's and Macau's families in power. Liu Fei Long of Baishe was always punctual. But he also liked to make a point that everyone understood his authority by arriving last, especially when it was a meeting of this importance.

There were six people on that table when there should have been five excluding him. He paused for a few seconds when the sixth man in power was a chestnut-haired, green-eyed young Caucasian man that he would rather not see. Alexei Arbatov was seated opposite to him. Why didn't it occur to him before? It was a Macau casino investment. To not let the Arbatov family who practically owned more than half the underground business in Macau in on it would be disrespectful enough to start a war. And Alexei was the one in power now that Mikhail had gone back to Russia. He had to be there.

Alexei smiled at him openly as he sat down across the table. Those green eyes never failed to stare at him in the most inappropriate manner. He had been avoiding a meeting with Alexei ever since he got off the plane four days ago. But in contrast to his persistent brother, Alexei never bothered him more than once since that day, and that invitation he had turned down without a second thought. He couldn't help imagining that had it been Mikhail who sat across the table, there would have been an obvious longing in those eyes. But there was no trace of it in Alexei's. Those predatory green eyes stared at him like a wolf enjoying the sight of the next prey it was about to hunt and devour. Mikhail's persistence was annoying when he didn't want to be bothered. But Alexei's determination sent a chill right down his back far too many times. He never knew what unthinkable thing Alexei would say or do next, and this man had yet to fail in getting exactly what he wanted with that approach.

The meeting commenced with the details of investment and profits for each family. Fei Long listened quietly as usual, calculating his risks and studying carefully the faces of those who might become his business partners. Liu Fei Long doesn't just arrive last at meetings, he insists on being the one who speaks last if he chooses to speak at all. A single word spoken could tell people what was on his mind. And in the world he lived in, it was crucial to tell one's enemies from one's allies first before that happens, that is, if one wishes to live long enough to accomplish something in this lifetime.

All the while Alexei, too, sat in silence. The same cunning smile was always on his face as he continued to sexually assault him from across the table with those eyes as if what went on in that room was insignificant to him. Either the man was exceptionally good at bluffing or he was truly spoiled and couldn't care less. But whatever it was, those eyes made him uncomfortable enough to want to walk out of the room just to breathe better. It wasn't easy being leered at that intensely for a long period of time when he wasn't able to escape. At the most inappropriate place and in the most inappropriate time, Alexei felt it was appropriate to undress him with his eyes, making him feel stark naked in front of all those people.

Fei Long shifted in his seat as a violent surge of pain rippled through his body. Seeing Alexei had brought back memories he had tried to forget, memories of betrayal and the guilt that was killing him, memories of his own weakness that made him despise himself enough to hate looking at his own reflection in the mirror. It was nauseating. He could still feel Alexei's hands on him. He could still hear the unforgivable screams of pleasure he granted Alexei on that plane. And to make the matter worse, even with all that guilt and self-hatred that threatened to explode in his chest, he was yet again, aroused by those green eyes.

It was unforgivable yet at the same time inevitable. Alexei's sex appeal was unquestionable. But there was also a part of him that needed Alexei, the part that was aching for Mikhail and would make him run back into those arms at the earliest opportunity. While the only thing strong enough to stop him was the unforgivable crime of betraying Mikhail with none other than his own brother. No matter how much he wanted to go back to him, under the circumstances, it was impossible. He could no longer look into those blue eyes the same way he did before. One day Mikhail would find out, and it would destroy him and certainly their relationship.

Alexei did what he promised. He severed the bond. Or at least destroyed completely the path that would lead him back to Mikhail. In that way, the unforgivable sin became the right thing to do. But even knowing so, it was still difficult for him to accept, and it still made him sick to his stomach every time the memory of that day on the plane came back to him.

"May we have an answer from the Arbatov family?" Someone voice shook him from his thoughts and reminded him he was still in a meeting. It seemed everyone else but them had agreed to an equal share, it was Alexei's turn.

Alexei smiled and tapped his fingers on the table playfully, his eyes were still on the beautiful face across the table as he spoke, "I'm in if Baishe's in." The answer shook Fei Long out of his cold and reserved appearance for a moment, but not as much as his next statement. "And it's going to be twenty percent cut for both of us."

It was true that their powers alone deserved more than equal share. Arbatov's protection in Macau was crucial, and his own power in Hong Kong and China could pull strings none of the other five families could have pulled even with their powers combined. But no one would be insane enough to request something like that without showing any intention on explaining himself. Especially when he was young and new in power. And it certainly disturbed more than half the people in that room.

"Perhaps you are new in position, young Arbatov. It's a lot you're asking for." An elderly commented in a respectful tone.

Alexei smiled and answered casually. "With all due respect, it's money. And I happen to have enough of it so I don't have to get out of bed for anything less than a twenty percent cut. And unless Baishe's in, I'm just not interested enough to get out of bed at all."

The man had guts. He had to give it to him. Moreover he understood the art of negotiation. But given the fact that both their sexual preferences were secretly known, it immediately gave the impression that they were fucking each other, and even when he was actually thinking of the same figure, that irritated him enough for him to itch for his gun. But since it wasn't an option, he sat quietly without protest through the commotion that went on in that room.

"It is simply out of the question. I'm afraid we must ask you to reconsider." Someone finally protested openly.

"In that case, gentlemen, I'm afraid you have been wasting my time." And with that, Alexei left the room.

That was not some silly, spoiled kid with no experience. Alexei knew exactly what he was doing and what he was worth. In a little over an hour, he had managed to make everyone in that room realize he wasn't a kid to be pushed around, something that most people takes months or even years to accomplish.

And since Alexei had practically closed the deal for him, he had no further reasons to sit in a room full of old men complaining to themselves when it was most likely that they would just have to agree to the cut in the end. "I stand at twenty. And I'll be waiting for your decisions. So if you'll excuse me, I have other things to attend to." He said politely and paid his respects before leaving the room with Yoh following right behind him.

Outside the door Alexei stood waiting with a cigarette in his mouth, leaning against the wall casually. "I need to talk to you for asecond." He demanded as if he had nothing to be guilty about, which made Fei Long even more irritated than he already was. But at that state when his body was already somewhat aroused by Alexei's attempt at molesting with him with those eyes during the meeting, it was not a good idea to confront him and so all he did was glared at him and attempted to walk away without saying a word.

A strong hand caught his wrist and stopped him before he could go further. Fei Long stood in place, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down as to not make a scene in front of all the bodyguards that surrounded the meeting room.

"Considering I've just closed the deal for you without you having to say a word, I think a few drinks is in order, wouldn't you say?" He asked smilingly. The man really had no clue how pissed he was.

"Don't cross the line, Alexei." He warned with a deadly glare. "Just because I was your brother's ally it doesn't mean I'm yours." He said quietly but with a clear intention to make known that he was far from joking. His dark, amethyst eyes stared right into Alexei's as he jerked back his hand violently.

With no intention of letting go, Alexei tightened his grip on his wrist as he quickly dragged him into the room nearby, slamming the door shut before Yoh could get to them.

"No…." He pushed hard against the masculine body as Alexei began to kiss him with the intensity that threatened to crush him into unconsciousness against the closed door. Every time he struggled to pry those hands off the back of his head, they seized him back to be devoured over and over again. His cries of rejection were mercilessly silenced by Alexei's lips as he forced his hot tongue through his mouth toward the back of his throat, sucking and depleting the air from his lungs.

There was an undeniable fire in Alexei that burned him alive every time he was captured into those arms, the fire that burned him out of his conscience and rendered him completely helpless. He had never been afraid of anyone in his life except for this man alone. Alexei possessed the power to force him into submission without having to earn his trust or his love like Mikhail. And instead of resenting it, a part of him seemed to enjoy losing that control he had been forcing on himself ever since he could remember.

Fei Long was panting heavily when Alexei broke free from the kiss. He bit down on his lips as Alexei's pressed his thigh against his growing erection, swearing in his mind at himself for granting this unimaginable bastard the satisfaction of knowing he was aroused. "Enough, Alexei." He said quietly through gritted teeth, knowing full well that anything said louder than a whisper would be heard by Yoh who was right on the other side of that door, banging it and calling his name in deep concern.

"Still haughty, I see, my beautiful Fei Long." He whispered and moaned in this throat before pressing his lips on the elegant neck just below his ear, and sucking it until the body in his arms shuddered at the pleasurable sting sure to leave a mark for days afterwards.

"I am not yours." He protested through heavily gritted teeth, trying his best to keep his voice down as well as the sound of his heartbeat that he was sure Alexei could hear.

"Very soon you will be." He whispered, wetting the back of Fei's ear with his tongue, earning himself another twitch from that beautiful body in his embrace. "Before my mark on your neck fades, I guarantee you."

Before he could utter another word, Alexei flung the door open, making him stumbled backwards and crashing right onto Yoh. Fei Long swore if he wasn't Mikhail's brother he would take so much pleasure in killing the man and wipe the cunning smile off that face. But even more irritating was his own fear that what Alexei said could be true, given his situation with Mikhail, and the fact that his body reacted the way it did when Alexei touched him.

"I'll see you around." He said before walking away.

 

***

Fei Long lied on his bed fully awake after endless hours of his failed attempt to force himself to sleep. He hadn't slept more than a few hours since he came back from Russia. There were simply too many things going on in his mind, too much trouble in his heart, and something increasingly painful was building up in his chest so much so that it was becoming difficult for him to breathe.

Yoh didn't say a word to him for the rest of that day. He must have known about Alexei. The man didn't get to become his most trusted bodyguard for nothing. As if the guilt in his heart wasn’t painful enough, Yoh's knowledge of the matter made him nauseas. To have someone he trusted, a subordinate, and a man who had practically confessed his love to him see his shameful behavior was something he didn't want to handle on top of everything else. The weight in his heart was becoming unbearable, and the only man who could always melt away his troubles he had left back in Russia.

Fei Long closed his eyes as he recalled the memories he should try to forget. One affectionate look from those blue eyes could always make him feel secure. One kiss from Mikhail could always lighten his heart.

The pain in his heart grew each day that passed by. Ever since he left Russia Mikhail hadn't made one attempt to call him. It was what he wanted, and the way it should be. Had Mikhail called he wasn't sure he would not run back to him in a second.

Why did he think it was possible for him to go on living normally without Mikhail in his life? How did he do it back then when they didn't know each other? It had been only four days since they had broken up and he was already breaking apart knowing he might not see that face again. Four days and his heart was already crying for Mikhail.

He sat up on the bed and buried his agonizing face in his hands. It had to stop. He had to give up Mikhail. Really give him up.

But how?

His face jerked up from his palms when his cell phone rang. Who would dare call him at this hour? He went for the phone and looked at the unidentified number for few seconds before deciding to pick up the call. Perhaps it was something important. He wasn't asleep anyway.

"Wei?"

"Where are you?" The man on the other end of the line asked with no introduction.

Fei Long held his breath as he slowly recognized the voice on the other end. "Alexei?" His voice sounded different on the phone, but the unique accent gave it away. "Where did you get this number?"

"Never mind where I get it. Come out have a few drinks with me." He asked casually as if they were life-long friends.

"It's almost three in the morning. And you know my answer."

"Well, you're not sleeping. And no, I don't know your answer until the night's over. I'm at the Felix. I'll see you there."

Fei Long stood in awe at the sound of the line being cut off before he could say another word. Unbelievable. The man dared called him at three in the morning, demanding him to go out, and assuming he would, after all that happened. And yet he found himself holding his breath when he heard that voice. Emotionally, he didn't feel anything for Alexei, but Alexei's presence certainly had an effect on him. Apparently he was the only man who could break into his conscience and perhaps he was the answer to his previous question: How does he give up Mikhail?

He had to do it. Whatever it takes, he had to do something. Even if he had to cut out his heart and do the most unimaginable thing, he just had to let go of Mikhail. He did this, and the least he could do was see it through.

He took one deep breath before pressing the speed dial on his phone.

"Yoh, I need a car in thirty minutes. I'll drive."

 

***

Fei Long's sleek silver Aston Martin DBS stopped in front of the Peninsula Hotel's entrance. He stepped out of the car graciously and gave the key to the valet before heading up to the bar on the 28th floor.

Pausing for a few seconds at the entrance, he tried to collect himself before strolling through the glamorous Philippe Starck décor of the famous restaurant and bar that offered breathtaking view of the harbor. It usually closes at two, but apparently the bar was still packed from what must have been a special event.

Across the room full of people Alexei stood out from the crowd in his dark silver silk shirt that was opened down to the third button, revealing enough skin to make the boy in his arms craved for more as he pressed himself closer against the handsome Russian and ran his hand down the masculine chest. The boy was very pretty, and they did look quite good together. But if Alexei thought it would disturb him he couldn't be more wrong. He had never been jealous of anyone all his life. He never cared for anyone enough to be jealous. If it were Mikhail, however, it would be a different story. But then Mikhail never even looked at anyone else while they were together. In fact it was difficult trying to pry Mikhail off him. It was in that sense that Alexei differed from his brother. The cunning wolf pursued him while promising absolutely no trace of commitment. Though he had to admit, that was a part of his charm.

Fei Long stopped in the middle of the room and smirked as their eyes met, to which the Russian nodded and kissed the boy briefly before walking towards him.

"Let's go." He grabbed Fei Long's arm and urged him out the door with no explanation whatsoever.

"Go where?" He was under the impression that they were going stay here to drink.

"My suite."

The answer had Fei Long stopped in his tracks and stared at Alexei's yellow-green eyes, demanding an explanation.

"It's too loud to talk here. You're not afraid of me, are you?" He asked with the tone that made him want to slap the smirk off that face. But there was no way he was going to lose his cool over this and give Alexei even more satisfaction.

"Watch your mouth, Alexei." He warned, shooting a deadly glare at the Russian to make his point.

Alexei moaned quietly in his throat as he spoke in a low, seductive voice. "Oh, how I love it when you're mad." If Fei Long only knew how those beautiful amethyst eyes made him hot every time they glared at him. Breathtakingly beautiful yet deadly, a combination that made his mouth water every time he sees that flawless face. "Shall we?" He insisted.

The private elevator opened into the infamous Garden Suite located on the rooftop of the building with its own private garden terrace more than five times the size of a standard hotel room. Large, floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked the stunning view of Victoria harbor. Fei Long paused at the sight of champagne sitting in an ice bucket accompanied by two flutes on the table and bit his lips with irritation. How he hated being a forgone conclusion.

Alexei smiled a little to see the expression on his face and went to pour the champagne while Fei Long stood close by and watched quietly, questioning himself why he had let himself be brought up here in the first place, or why he even thought about coming to meet Alexei to begin with. He was far from ready. And the awkward silence in that room didn't help.

"So," Alexei said with his usual, playful tone. "Shall we do it here or the bedroom?"

The question had Fei Long grab hold of the edge of the table to keep his balance. Alexei had always been blunt, especially about sex, nevertheless it caught him off guard. He took a deep breath and tried to deal with the image of them together in that room that popped up in his head. "What makes you think I'm interested?" He asked calmly when he was nothing but calm in front of this man.

Alexei smiled knowingly and replied, "You came here for a reason, didn't you?" He twirled the champagne in his flute as he looked straight into Fei Long's eyes. "You need to forget him, and I'm the only one who can help you do that, aren't I?"

Even if it were true, he couldn't help feeling appalled by the way Alexei suggested it with no trace of conscience. "You're a prick, you know that?"

Unaffected by his remarks, Alexei laughed amusingly. "Perhaps I am for trying to fuck my brother's date. But you're also using me as an excuse to stay away from him. What does that make you?"

Those predatory yellow-green eyes pierced right into his soul. It was the part of Alexei he hated the most. The man seemed to see through everything and never failed to show his nerve by saying the brutal truth out loud without difficulties.

"And that doesn't bother you?" Fei Long asked as he stared back into those eyes.

"Why would it bother me?" He said casually, leering openly at the elegant body before him, already imagining his hands taking off those clothes. "I want you for sex, and I seek no commitment. You want to use me to forget my brother, and you're not willing to commit. We make a fine pair, you and I." He exclaimed, stepping closer to Fei Long and lifted his chin slightly with his fingers.

It was amazing how honest Alexei was. Yet even if it were true, that they could feed off each other with no guilt nor trouble that often occurred with normal couples, it was still hard for him to just walk into that relationship this quickly.

"Perhaps I made a mistake coming here tonight." He said before turning around to leave.

"It's annoying, you know? That conscience of yours." The insulting remarks stopped him as he turned around to face Alexei again in irritation. "Your constant struggle to do the right thing when it was the opposite of what your heart desires. But then again, it's what makes you extraordinary. Here, let me make it easier for you." He said smilingly as he drew a small, clear bag of pale blue pills from his jacket and held a tablet between his fingers.

"You know what this is, don't you?" He asked with a devious smile.

Fei Long flinched a little at the sight of the butterfly mark on the blue pill. Even though he was smart enough to never get himself addicted to drugs and ruin his business, he was after all, a drug lord among other things, and would naturally recognize it immediately.

Slowly, Alexei stepped closer and paused just inches before his face. "Let me help you, Fei Long. What do you say?" He whispered sensually before parting his lips slightly and placed the pill on his tongue, waiting, for the exotic flower in front of him to take the offer.

Fei Long looked deep into those green eyes for a moment and made up his mind. Long, elegant fingers tugged at Alexei's collar and pulled him down to a kiss, preparing himself for whatever was about to happen as he let the blue pill slid down his throat.

"There, your perfect excuse." Alexei said quietly as he broke free from the kiss.

Fei Long swallowed the bitter taste of Ecstasy left on his tongue and looked deep into those yellow-green eyes. "No commitment, Alexei." He said firmly. He no longer had the desire commit to anyone, and even if he wanted to, he wasn't capable of it. Alexei had to know this before they go any further.

Alexei smiled and wrapped his arms around the slender waist, forcing Fei Long closer into his embrace.

"I've never committed to anyone in my life and I don't intend to."

 


	18. Chapter 18

"Come with me." Alexei gestured towards the outdoor garden with a satisfactory smile on his face. As usual, he didn't wait for answers. He grabbed the champagne and stepped outside without one glance back whether or not Fei Long was going to follow.

It was always like that with Alexei, so confident and self-assured. He didn't seem cold. Alexei showed a lot of emotions. He always smiled and laughed freely and never seemed to care about hiding his expressions. A person like that should have been warm, yet there was nothing warming about Alexei. He simply didn't care about anyone or anything. The man seemed to live by his impulses, totally free from obligations and guilt. And his interest, one can never guess, because he seemed to change his mind every few minutes or so, depending on the situation. Even if Fei Long didn't ask him to promise there would be no commitment, there was no way a man like Alexei would commit to anything. And that gave him some relief. The last thing he needed was to go into another relationship like the one he had with Mikhail, not that Alexei could replace him in that way anyway.

No. He wasn't looking for someone to replace Mikhail. He wasn't looking for something to replace those memories. It was distraction he seeks, something to keep his mind off those loving blue eyes, someone to relief his needs when his body cried for that man. Alexei was perfect. Even though he was Mikhail's brother, he reminded him nothing of Mikhail. Alexei could touch him very differently and still satisfy him even when what he craved wasn't something close to it. He was right, they could feed off each other without having to commit to anything, without the risk of hurting each other.

Still reluctant, he stepped outside into the garden terrace. He had heard of the famous Garden Suite but has never stayed there. Just the sheer size of the garden was already extraordinary. There was an outdoor Jacuzzi among the lush tropical garden with a beautiful backdrop of Victoria Harbor view to complete the picture. It sure lived up to its fame. And it would have been perfect, if only Mikhail was here.

Fei Long paused in his tracks when his eyes caught the sight of Alexei in the Jacuzzi, drinking is champagne, and completely naked. He flinched at the thought of what was about to happen. Obviously the drug had not taken effect.

Alexei stared at him and smiled cunningly, playing with the flute in his hand. "Strip." He demanded casually while his eyes were already doing the job.

Fei Long looked straight into his eyes in disbelief. Did Alexei really think it was normal for him to undress in the middle of an outdoor terrace? He had never even done it for Mikhail.

"There is nothing I haven't seen, Fei Long. Or do you need my help?" He said smilingly and put down his flute, ready, to 'help'.

Dark, amethyst eyes almost turned red at the comment. "I can take care of myself, thank you." Fei Long said irritatingly. He wasn't going to let Alexei think he was some kind of weak and inexperienced triad leader. He had gotten himself into this, at least he had to see it through with dignity. If Alexei was going to make a sex toy out of him, then he might as well make one out of Alexei. What the hell did it matter anyway? They were both men, and it was just sex.

Slowly he recalled his life when Mikhail wasn't in it. How he would occasionally take those boys back to hotel suites like this for his sexual needs. He kept telling himself this would be no different than before as he slipped off his clothes one by one, throwing them onto the floor in complete confidence.

Confidence? In truth he was far from being confident. It wasn't because of Alexei or that he was nervous. But every piece of clothing he took off in front of Alexei was the remaining ties that was left between him and Mikhail, and the pieces of his heart that could still love someone. What happened on the plane that day wasn't his choice, what was about to happen here was solely his decision, one harder than any he had made in his lifetime.

And there he was, standing in front of Alexei clad in nothing but his own skin, watching Alexei trailed his eyes down his body hungrily like a predator fixing its eyes on the next prey. He reached back for the tie in his hair and let his hair loose, keeping eye contact as he watched Alexei's change in expression and the lust in those green eyes that was burning like fire. If Alexei thought he was the only one who could drive people crazy with his sex appeal, he'd better think again. This Liu Fei Long of Baishe had conquered that territory far too long to let himself be played with. He may have been confused and vulnerable lately, but he was no helpless prey. Especially now that his head was clearer, and his decision definite.

Slowly he stepped into the Jacuzzi, feeling the warmness of the water on his skin as his heart started to grow hard and cold. There was a time when he felt safe behind his own walls that surrounded his heart, before Mikhail came into his life, and before those arms became his sanctuary. If only he could go back to that place then, his life might go back to normal once more.

Alexei found himself swallowing hard at the sight of the beautiful creature in front of him. He had to admit, Fei Long had a way of stunning him every time they met. His appearance alone could already make any man hard, but the way he carried himself so delicately elegant made it nearly impossible for anyone not to try to jump him at the earliest opportunity. And that was in his normal state. Should Fei Long needed to seduce, the man could possibly have even him at his feet.

As unbelievable as it seemed, given that he already had the taste of Fei Long, he was still impatient. He thought the resisting Fei Long was delicious, but now he couldn't help imagining the agreeable Fei Long in his arms.

With the sudden urge to take down the gorgeous leopard before him, he reached across to grab the slender yet strong wrist and pulled Fei Long swiftly into his embrace. Those elegant arms pushed against his shoulder violently in an effort to keep the distance, while dark, amethyst eyes glared at him with fire that made him grew even more impatient. It was different than before. Fei Long wasn't resisting, he was struggling for control, and that made his mouth water with extreme excitement.

"You will touch me when I say you can touch me." He said firmly through tightly gritted teeth as he yanked his wrist back from the iron grip that had no intention of letting go. He would have Alexei know he can't be played with without his consent. If they were going to play this game, it would be under his rule.

"That will be a problem." Alexei smiled cunningly before tightening his grip and tried to force a kiss on him, to which Fei Long grabbed his hair and yanked his head backward.

"Never without my permission, Alexei." He warned, continuing to push back and resist with full strength. It was a fight for dominance that he wasn't about to give in that easily, at least before that drug kicks in and made him lose his conscience.

Suddenly he felt Alexei's legs wrapped around him and tripped him off balance. A strong hand seized him by the neck and pushed him underwater before those lips came down upon his with the force that could easily break his neck. He struggled hard against the iron grip of the man who was substantially bigger and stronger, choking on the warm water that threatened to flood his lungs. Just when he thought he couldn't hold his breath any longer, Alexei pulled him up to the surface.

In his attempt to grasp for air, he couldn't help but curse the Russian bastard. "You….son of a…." Alexei's lips attacked him again before he could finish the sentence. Hot, wet tongue twirled around his viciously as his arms closed around his waist so tight he felt like being broken in two. He flung his head back and cried out in both pain and pleasure as Alexei move down to bite his nipple.

He couldn't help moaning himself when Fei Long started crying out the exotic sound that heightened his sensitivity threefold. He was rather amazed at how strong Fei Long was in reality. The slender body that seemed almost fragile struggled and attacked him with the surprising force that required all his strength to hold him in place. Even though he must have been taken so many times by his brother, the dragon of Baishe must have never submitted to anyone. It was obvious he wasn't struggling to break free, but rather to gain control of the situation. Unfortunately, he wasn't someone who would let himself be controlled. And Fei Long's effort, even though useless against his strength, excited him to the point of going mad.

Fei Long's slightly long fingernails dug deep into his flesh like a leopard's claw trying to tear its hunter to pieces. Alexei growled and spun him around, holding him from behind tightly. A mixture of warm water and perspiration dripped down their entirely exposed bodies as they both paused to gasp for air. At that point Fei Long had quieted down a little, perhaps due to exhaustion or perhaps the drug had taken effect. Even then, the defying leopard still occasionally tried to jerk his body free from captivity.

"Shhhh….You're not going anywhere, my vicious dragon." Alexei whispered as the body in his arms tried to jerk itself free once again. His strong hand glided down the delicate arch of Fei Long's back to the tight opening that he was rather impatient to enter while his other arm held him tight across the front of his waist.

Fei Long bit down on his lower lip as his self-control started to drift away and moaned openly to Alexei's finger entering him forcefully. His consciousness was completely intact, but the will to struggle was somehow fading, along with the last bond that held him to Mikhail. The strong arm around him tightened and pulled him back against the fingers that thrust into him mercilessly. No matter how rough sex got with Mikhail, there was always gentleness in him that made it more than sex. Alexei was an animal that aroused him in the way that was breaking him into pieces. It wasn't anything more than sex, yet it definitely wasn't just sex. It was sex in its most ravenous form, deliciously raw and intense that even the pain it caused was somehow pleasurable.

The delicate line of Fei Long's back curved backwards as he entered slowly but forcefully. A loud cry that escaped through those refined lips forced him to sink his teeth into the flawless skin of Fei Long's shoulder to keep his control, earning him another groan that made him thrust deeper and harder.

Helplessly holding on to the edge of the Jacuzzi for support, he twitched violently as Alexei's hand started stroking his erection slowly, too slow to make him come but enough to push him to the edge of madness. He tried to push forward into Alexei's grip to finish himself off, but the bastard was enjoying himself too much seeing him tortured and in pain that he tightened the arm around his waist and held him firmly in place.

"Not so fast." Alexei whispered, relentlessly sucking the soft skin on the side of his neck as he took his time with each thrust. "I'm not finished with you yet." He proclaimed under his own uneven breaths.

Fei Long closed his eyes and cried out the sound of his sanity being ripped apart as Alexei entered him slowly but forcefully with the clear intention of keeping him on the edge yet deliberately preventing him from reaching his orgasm. It was becoming unbearable. But apparently the drug wasn't enough to make him beg for it.

A sudden squeeze from Fei Long sent Alexei moaning rather loudly. He bit down on his lips as he realized his own control was becoming fragile at the attempt to wring him dry by the man he thought he had under control. Just the sight of Fei Long at that point was already enough to make him climax. Long, jet-black hair drenched with water clung to his back as he flung his head back, struggling and moaning the sound the made him want to devour him whole with his every thrust. He was already close to his own limits faster than he wanted to, and Fei Long was determined finish him off.

"Fei Long, stop it or I promise you will regret this." He said through his gritted teeth, tightening his grip around the slender body in an effort to keep him still.

Another squeeze rippled down the length of his manhood and shattered his control altogether. Alexei closed his eyes and slammed into him violently, with one hand gripping around his neck so hard he thought it was going to die and his body broken into pieces. The brutality of it was making him lose his consciousness little by little, but it also made him come without a single stroke from Alexei's hand. He didn't remember the sound of his own cries as he released, his consciousness drifted away somewhere in the middle of it. And he could hear nor feel anything afterwards.

 

***

Four days earlier.

 

Vladimir stood in silence by the window of his study, gazing out to the snow-covered garden his wife used to love wandering around for hours. She was a very beautiful woman, with light chestnut hair and stunning green eyes just like Alexei's. And he loved her more than anything he had ever loved in his lifetime.

It was that memory of such love that brought meaning to his life that he was starting to wonder if what he did was the right thing to do. There was unmistakable love in Mikhail's eyes for the Baishe leader. It would be a lie if he said the fact that Fei Long was a man didn't bother him at all. Just like every father, he had hoped for grandchildren. Alexei's interest in men had always been apparent, and Mikhail had become his last hope. Still, he was not a man selfish enough to ruin his son's happiness for his own needs.

The presence of Liu Fei Long screamed trouble for Mikhail. The feud between brothers, the trouble with the Japanese yakuza, and the danger of such relationship for men in their positions was already enough for him to want it to end. But deep down inside, what really did bother him was the extent of his son's love for a man who didn't seem to be able to give it in return. Mikhail would kill and die for this man who stood by his enemy, and that, he could not live with if he didn't interfere. With Alexei he could turn a blind eye. He knew his younger son too well that he would not commit to anyone or anything easily. And once he'd had his way with the new toy, Alexei usually moved on. Mikhail, however, likes to commit himself in everything he wants, whether it'd be cars, business deals, hobbies and of course, love. If only it wasn't Liu Fei Long of Baishe he had chosen, they would have had his blessings. It was for the best, he was sure. What he wasn't sure of, was what it would do to his son.

A few knocks on the already opened doors tore him from his thoughts. He turned around slowly to see his visitor leaning against the doorframe with a cigarette in his mouth. Vladimir nodded slightly for him to enter.

"Mr. Asami, apart from yesterday's incident, I hope you stay has been pleasant?" His deep, dignifying voice resonated across the room.

Asami felt it was appropriate to put off his cigarette on the crystal tray by the door before entering the study. It wasn't that he felt dominated by Vladimir Arbatov or anything, but somehow the man's presence demanded respect in every sense of the word. Vladimir gave off the dignifying aura similar to Liu senior, but in a more charming and powerful way. He was well mannered, reserved yet friendly, confident and always calm. His facial expression never changes, but his eyes gave off a clear message he was not the man to play with. His sons may be brats, at least one of them, but the father was a man to admire.

"It's a very cozy place you have here." Asami complimented casually. "But I take it you didn't invite me here for vacation?" A few days ago he was rather surprised to receive an invitation from the great Vladimir Arbatov himself and came under the impression that there was a business opportunity to be discussed, or at lease some kind of alliance to be formed. Baishe had always worked with the Arbatovs. He wouldn't deny that he had been rather curious about the depths of their relationship. But above all, it really didn't hurt to get himself another powerful ally. But what was beyond his expectation was that all this might have everything to do with Fei Long with whom he had been making a point of not getting involved publicly. To think that he may have been used as just another pawn infuriated him enough to make the Arbatovs his enemy but first he had to know the truth.

Vladimir paused for a while and calculated his approach of the subject before he started. "No, Mr. Asami. You happen to have something I want and in return I have much to give."

"This is about Fei Long, isn't it?" He asked bluntly in an effort to force Arbatov senior to get to the point quickly.

Vladimir nodded slightly. "I believe you have in your possession the information on the whereabouts of Liu Yan Tzui?"

The question almost made him jump off his own skin. Not only did Vladimir knew Yan was alive, he also knew he had something to do with his disappearance. "What does Yan has to do with all this? He is no longer in power." Asami asked curiously. What could Vladimir want with a man who has disappeared off their world for over seven years?

"Leverage, Mr. Asami." The old man said calmly as his blue eyes glowed like the devil's "Leverage."

Asami sneered at the thought of what the man in front of him was capable of. If anyone was a threat too Fei Long, it would be his brother who had his full rights to the throne of Baishe and the only legitimate son of Liu's blood. Seven years ago he had gone to lengths to keep him out of the way for Fei Long to become the head of Baishe and now without backup Yan became powerless against Fei Long in taking back Baishe. Yes, 'without' backup. Should Vladimir offer such alliance, Fei Long would be facing the biggest enemy of his lifetime. Despite his dignifying and respectful presence, the man was indeed Mafia.

"And if I do have that information?" Asami asked knowingly.

"Then I may call upon you in the future for a favor if need be. If you agree, you may count on us as your ally, Mr. Asami." The old man said and held out his hand. "What do you say?"

Asami kept his hands in his pocket and smirked. Vladimir overlooked one important factor, he was no enemy of Fei Long, even if Fei Long considered him one. "When that time comes, you will have my answer. For now I must speak with Fei Long." It was about time they had a talk. Thing were starting to get out of hands.

A gentle yet slightly cunning smile swept across the face of a man wise with age before the offered hand was dropped slowly to his side. "Very well then. But I'm afraid Fei Long has left for Hong Kong early this morning."

The news took him by surprise, someone like Fei Long would never run away so fast, even if it were him he had to confront. Something else happened. "What did you do?" His golden eyes narrowed like a hawk's as he studied Vladimir's face. The old man had something to do with it for sure, not that he would mind, he didn't like seeing them together either.

Vladimir smiled very slightly as he answered. "What every father would do for his son. Good day, Mr. Asami."

***

Feodora paid her respects as Vladimir entered the drawing room. "You wanted to see me uncle Vlad?" She asked curiously. It wasn't often that she received an invitation from Vladimir Arbatov in person. She wouldn't deny that she had rushed here knowing it had to be something about Mikhail.

Vladimir placed a hand over her shoulder gently and smiled. "I have something to ask of you. Will you join me for an afternoon tea?"

"Of course." She replied and followed him into the tearoom.

The smell of peppermint tea reached the tip of her nose as she entered. The room had always smelled of peppermint somehow. She had been told it was Mikhail's mother's favorite place to spend during her afternoons there and it had been kept exactly the way it was for decades. It was a room they were not allowed to play in when they were little. But children were children, and Mikhail had sneaked her in several times to see his mother's portrait that hung in the middle of that room. She was a beautiful woman with curls in her hair just like Mikhail. It was a pity he wasn't old enough to remember his mother. He would have loved that memory.

"Take a seat." Vladimir made a gesture as he poured some tea and handed a cup to the young woman across the small table.

"Thank you." She said sweetly as she carefully took the cup. "So? How may I be of service, uncle?"

Vladimir paused for a while before raising his question, "How are you and Mikhail these days?"

Those beautiful eyes grew sad the moment she heard his name. "He's in love with a man more beautiful than I am, how do you think we are, uncle Vlad?"

"And if he's no longer in the picture?"

"What do you mean?" Feodora asked curiously.

"Fei Long left yesterday," He told her calmly, pausing to sip his tea, "for good."

Completely shocked to hear such news, she averted her eyes to the cup of tea in her hand and thought for a while in silence. She had practically given Mikhail to him on a silver plate. What could have happened to them in just a few days?

"Will you marry him if that's the case?" The old man continued.

She took one deep breath and looked into his eyes with complete confidence. "I am a noble woman, uncle Vlad. I don't marry a man who thinks of me as second best. But I do love him. Should one day his heart returns to me then I will take that offer with no regrets. For now, I'm afraid my answer is no."

She had her pride. It was the one thing that separated her from those common women that surrounded him, the one thing he used to love her for. Used to. Those words cut through her heart every time she thought of it. If only she had pressed for marriage before he left they might have never met each other. But then again, she had always known the extent of Mikhail's love for her never ran as deep. As always, fate had a way of changing people's lives.

"You are indeed a noble woman, my dear. My son doesn't deserve you." He complimented with sincerity. It was a shame Mikhail did not choose her. She was a woman made for a king.

"May I see him, uncle?" She had to admit she was worried. If there was one thing she knew, Mikhail loved that man enough to ruin himself over him.

"Perhaps it's a good idea that you do. I believe he has been in his room all day."

She had suspected Vladimir must have something to do with it. But there was a hint of sadness in that voice. She had known this family since she was young. Vladimir couldn't have been a better father. Whatever he did, he must have done with regrets and out of love.

"I'm sure everything will be ok, uncle Vlad." She said knowingly and smiled before leaving the room.

Feodora paused in the hallway by the opened door to the guest room Fei Long had stayed in and peeked inside. The sheets were still undone. She remembered the scent well when she first entered that room. The man had a certain sweet smell about him that was rather captivating. But now the room was filled with a mixture of that scent and Mikhail's. She closed her eyes as the pain in her heart intensified and turn away swiftly from the bed. In the corner across the room her eyes caught a sight of something shiny on the floor. Her heart skipped a beat as she stepped closer and realized what it was.

The Love key….

Slowly, she picked it up and cradled it in the palm of her hand. The key to Mikhail's heart. If only it had belonged to her.

The sound of the balcony door swinging opened by the wind tore her from her thoughts. The snow was blowing into the room through the partially opened curtain. A tall shadow appeared behind the curtain out on the balcony as she stepped closer.

"Mikhail." She called softly to the man standing still in the snow. He must have been there for a while. His brownish gold robe was almost white. "You're going to catch a cold." She reached up to brush the snowflakes from his golden curls.

Mikhail stood there with a blank expression on his face. His icy blue eyes weren't sad, they were simply cold. And his skin was as pale as winter itself. It was scary to see him that way. Mikhail had always been full of life, whether he was happy, mad or even sad he would always showed his emotions. Now he was just cold.

"I heard." She said lightly as she stepped up to stand beside him.

"News sure travels fast." He said sarcastically yet there was still no emotion in his tone.

"Your father called for me. He's worried about you." She confessed. Mikhail should know his father's good intentions.

"The old man sure knows what he's doing, doesn't he?" He sneered at the thought of how victorious his father must feel right now.

"Your father loves you." She reminded.

"Of course he does." He said with a strange sincerity in his voice. "I can't blame him for my own failure."

Yes, his failure, the failure to convince Fei to stay, the failure to replace that man in Fei's heart. All his father did was showed him the reality of it all.

"I'm disappointed in you." She said as she crossed her arms over her chest. "My Mikhail who always gets what he wants, admits defeat? It's not like you." It was true. She would rather see Mikhail with someone else than seeing him turned into someone so cold. A big part of what makes him charming was his persistent nature, his way of living that made life seem so exciting. The Mikhail she knew would never give up.

“My patience has limits Feodora.” He said firmly. “And I have my pride.”

It was killing him, but he was ready to throw it all out the window. Enough was enough. Fei Long was never his and never going to be his. And it took him beatings after beatings to realize the truth.

Feodora sighed heavily as she heard those words. His heart was turning cold, and she was about to lose the Mikhail she loved.

“Your father asked me today if I would still marry you.” She said casually, pulling together her wool jacket to keep herself warm. “I told him I would never marry a man who will take me as his second choice.” She paused a little to look at the sarcastic smile that crept over Mikhail’s handsome face as he heard those words from her. “But I’m still here, waiting for you to come to your senses.”

It was true. She was still waiting. Somewhere along the way she might find someone new, and if that were the case she would be lucky. But for now he was the man she loved and she would wait, even if nothing good comes out of it. It's always a privilege to have known love, even when it's one-sided it was still precious.

“We all take pride in the things we love, Mikhail." She turned to him and smiled sadly, touching his cold cheek with her delicate fingers. "Without it, what is there to be proud of?”

She didn't know their story. She didn't know exactly what happened between them. But she knew Mikhail. He wasn't the kind of man who would give up on things. She loved him that way, and she wanted to see him like that always, whether or not he was with her.

"It's really a question of what you're willing to do for your pride." She said as she took his hand and placed the content of hers on his palm.

The gold pendent in his hand seemed to weigh a ton. Seeing it was already hard for him. But holding it again, deliberating what to do with it was harder than anything he had imagined.

Feodora forced his palm to close around the pendent and smiled.

"How far would you go for love?"

 

***

  



	19. Chapter 19

It must have been late in the morning when he finally opened his eyes. Strangely he felt numbed from the tip of his fingers to his toes. Numbed, to his own nakedness against the fine linens of the bed, to the sound of Alexei breathing in his sleep right next to him, and to his own existence in that room. And it was then that he knew, his life had gone back to normal. Normal, like the way it was since he woke up in the hospital seven years ago, when everyone he loved had died, and the one man he trusted had betrayed and deserted him. Normal, like the way it was before Mikhail Arbatov came into his life.

Life was easy back then when he didn't feel much, or rather, when he didn't allow himself to feel much. It wasn't so different. There was nothing else to feel but pain then, there is nothing else to feel but pain now. At some point in life, shutting out one's heart was simply the way to survive. For seven years he had perfected it. He simply had to do it again.

Quietly he rose from the bed, put on his clothes and looked for his belongings as if nothing had happened the night before. Nothing really mattered anymore, not the scent of sweat on his body, or the bruises on his skin.

"Leaving already?" The voice he didn't feel like hearing sounded from behind.

Fei Long didn't answer. He didn't even turn around to look.

Still lying comfortably on the bed, Alexei's eyes traveled up and down the elegant form of the man who managed to ignore him completely. It was a strange sight for him, seeing his date leave before he did. But even stranger than that were his own feelings towards the man who was supposed to be his. Supposed to, yet not quite. No matter how many times he tried to leave his imprints on this glorious being, there would be no traces of it left the next day. Even after collapsing helplessly in his arms merely a few hours before, Liu Fei Long remained someone unconquered. There was always a certain thing about the Baishe leader that was unattainable, something that was always out of reach. It pissed him off somewhat, but it kept him wanting more.

"At least stay for lunch." He offered.

The answer was firm and delivered without hesitation. "I have no reason to stay."

"How cruel." Alexei protested in a playful tone. "You could at least make up an excuse."

A slight smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth. "Don't kid yourself, Alexei. I don't care for you nearly enough to make excuses." What they had was just sex. Nothing more. Alexei should know.

"He called, you know?"

The sentence nearly made him jump off his skin. There was only one phone call he was waiting for, one call he shouldn't be anticipating nor had the right to expect. Without thinking he flipped opened his cell phone.

Impossible. "There was no missed call."

"Of course not." Alexei said carelessly, lighting a cigarette that was left by the bed. "It wasn't missed."

Suddenly realizing what Alexei was trying to say, he found himself swallowing hard to the unforgivable truth that must have been revealed.

"You unimaginable bastard." He gasped as the tips of his fingers turned ice cold.

"Am I?" The Russian smiled. "It was you who wanted to cut the ties. I merely did you a favor." He knew he was risking his neck for picking up that call. Mikhail must be furious enough to kill without hesitation knowing what he had done. But if that was the last thing that kept Fei Long from being his, it was worth it. He had never failed in getting what he wanted, and he wasn't going to.

Without another word of response Fei Long rushed out from the suite. Alexei was right. He wanted it to turn out this way. He desperately needed a reason to keep him from running back to Mikhail. And now even if he did, Mikhail would never forgive him. It was as it should be, except the fact that it left him wounded enough to make him feel like he was choking on his own blood.

'Get over it.'

For a hundred times he repeated those words in his head as he paced through the hotel lobby and waited for his car to be brought to the entrance. Just the vision of how much Mikhail would despise him now made him nauseas. But the mere thought of how Mikhail must take the news struck him with the pain he had never before experienced. How could he do this to Mikhail, to the one man who genuinely cared for him, to someone so tender? It was he who was the unimaginable bastard. Not Alexei. It was he who deserved to be hated.

On that day he knew, whatever bond there was between them had been broken beyond repair. Whatever trust they had was destroyed, along with the last remaining bit of his heart that could still love someone.

***

Mikhail stood still over his cell phone lying on the floor. It wasn't everyday that he'd lose his temper enough to try to smash a $10,000 Vertu without thinking. He could still feel his blood boiling in his veins as he replayed Alexei's words in his head.

'He's asleep. I must have exhausted him.'

An extreme surge of pain and anger knocked him out of his senses as he heard that voice. The whole world suddenly went blank before his eyes. He didn't remember what he said, or whether or not he did say anything at all. Just moments later he found himself standing here, breathing hard as if he had been holding his breaths for the last half hour. Breathing, like he's choking on them at the same time.

Fei Long had never really been his. He had known that fact for a while. But it never hit him that he might become someone else's. It never hit him that he might have to see Fei with someone else, least of all his own brother.

Another flood of anger filled his chest as the thought entered his head and he found himself grabbing a chair for balance. Just hours ago he told himself he'd had enough. And now just the thought of Fei Long in someone else's arms was burning him alive. Fei Long has just slipped through his fingers, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Nothing.

"Fuck, No!" Immediately he held himself back up and headed to the door.

Fei Long was his and his alone. If Alexei thought he was simply going to back down and give his precious Fei to him on a silver plate because of this he'd better think again. It's about time he takes back what belongs to him.

***

Vladimir Arbatov looked up from his dinner plate and out the window at the sound of a helicopter getting ready for lift off and back to one of the butlers attending his table inquisitively, "Is someone going somewhere?"

"I believe it's for master Mikhail, sir." The butler replied formally. It wasn't something out of the ordinary. Vladimir Arbatov had always let his sons do whatever they pleased ever since they turned eighteen, especially Mikhail, who had been given more responsibilities from early on.

It wouldnít be out of the ordinary to see his son leave without telling him his plans and he usually wouldnít interfere. But the situation then wasnít exactly ënormal.í

"Do you know anything about this?" He turned to Feodora who had been invited to join him for dinner, to which she shook her head slightly. She knew her words may have led him to try talking to Fei Long, but for him to leave so suddenly meant that something had gone wrong.

Just then Mikhail appeared from the drawing room. Feodora took one glance at him and immediately knew his destination. There he was, completely wrapped up in his fine vicuña wool overcoat and scarf, his hands covered in his best lambskin gloves. While some people who had been rich all their lives never cared too much about what they use or wear, Mikhail would accept nothing less than the best the world had to offer. And that often reflected in his choice of women... or men.

When she met Liu Fei Long she immediately knew how much Mikhail would treasure the man. His beauty was unparalleled, and his grace was beyond compare. There was only one reason for Mikhail to dress in his very best given the situation, and that was to appear worthy of the prize he was out to obtain.

His quick, hurried pace showed he was ready to leave that instance without any intention to stop and say a word to his father or his guest. Just before he was about to disappear again through the dining room door Vladimir stopped him.

"You're going somewhere?" He asked calmly, though with the tone that could stop a lion in his track.

With his back to this father, Mikhail merely looked over his shoulder in response. His blue eyes flashed red, fierce, and determined as he answered fearlessly, ìHong Kong.î

At that point Vladimir knew, no force on earth could have stopped his son from going back to the Baishe leader. None, but that one last card he possessed in his hands.

He paused for a second before delivering the one sentence even a man like him found hard to utter, one fact that would settle this issue once and for all, "Tell me. Do you know who Liu Yan Zhui is?"

The last card did its job the way he had expected it to. Mikhail paused dead right in front of the door and turned around. "You mean 'was'....?" His voice trailed off into almost a whisper. Fei Long had never told him about his past, but that doesn't mean he did not try to find out by himself.

"Is." Vladimir confirmed. "Liu Yan Zhui, the rightful heir to the throne of Baishe, the only son of Liu's own blood is still alive. " He went through his words slowly yet clearly, taking his time for the facts to sink in." Powerless, defeated, but alive."

"And your point is?" Mikhail narrowed his eyes and stared at his father who was still sitting on the dining table, twirling the glass of wine in his hands.

"The thing with power, Mikhail," He paused a little and looked into his son's blue eyes that were growing fiercer by the minute, "is that with the right influence, it changes hands all too quickly."

He had known his father to be cold and cruel at times. The great Vladimir Arbatov didn't get where he was being kind and righteous. Yet until this day he had never known him to use such unspeakable means to give him control over his son.

He never thought he had to say it, never once imagined he had to go as far as begging. But it was the one thing he could think of that might change his father's mind. "I love him."

"Of course you do." He responded with no mercy in his tone. "I'm actually doing you a favor."

Vladimir paused and studied his son's face for a while before he continued. "He would be forced to give up Baishe, and the only place remains for him to run is into your arms. And then you can have him. Really have him. Is that not what you want?"

It was true. Without Baishe there would no longer be anything to keep them apart. Without Baishe he had a chance to be the only thing left for Fei. "You... would do all this for me?" He asked hesitatingly.

Vladimir smiled. "I have no problem with you and Liu's son. But it becomes a problem, when my son is willing to give up his whole life for someone who is not willing to do the same." He meant it with the utmost sincerity. If Liu Fei Long would be willing to go as far, he would not stand in their way.

Mikhail sneered at the very thought of his father's plan. It was his father's best move yet and possibly his cleverest test of all. But above all that, he just had to congratulate the man for his despicable cruelty, for saying such things and knowing full well what his answer would be.

"You know I would never do that to him." He said quietly, smiling at himself in pity. For the first time I his life he had never felt so powerless. "What do you want from me?"

"I will not interfere if you swear to give him up and never see him again in that manner."

His blue eyes held his father's in an attempt to say that it was out of the question. To give up Fei Long completely and never see him again was an option to cruel for him to consider.

"Or you can marry, settle down and take over my business as I have planned for you. And what goes on in your personal life is no longer my concern."

Once more Mikhail smiled to himself, "You're not leaving me with much of a choice, are you?" Either way, he loses Fei Long. While getting married might have worked out best for most people, a man like Fei would never agree to accept him in that position nor would he dare try to degrade Fei Long down to a status equivalent to his mistress. His father knew all this too well. His every option seemed to be requiring Fei Long to sacrifice something. Unless he agrees to abandon what lies in his heart, he himself would be a threat to Fei.

"That's all the choice there is." Vladimir stated with absolute certainty. "You let me know."

***

  



	20. +Epilogue

It was a relatively short meeting, shorter than most of the important ones he usually attended. Fei Long sat quietly as usual. Everyone knew the leader of Baishe does not give his opinions openly. He simply listens and decides. Only this time he wasn't really listening. His fingers stroke the keys on his cell phone as his mind wandered off somewhere else that seemed impossible for him to gather.

It had been two weeks since that day, and yet he still found himself waiting for the call that never came. So much so that he found it difficult to switch off his phone during meetings. Every time it rang his heart skipped a few beats. Every time it did he cursed himself for it.

What was he waiting for? What did he dare wait for? It was his decision to leave. It was his decision to cut that last bond between them. Yet why was he still waiting? Even Mikhail wouldn't endure that much. No one would.

Yoh who was standing right behind his master for protection kept his eyes on the man across the table. It was a surprise to see Alexei Arbatov at that meeting. Seeing how the man rarely appeared unless it was one of those events that would make him lose something if he didn't. He wasn't sure if Fei Long noticed, but every few minutes or so those yellow-green eyes would stare at him as if to pry out some kind of truth from his master's expressionless face. The problem was that he knew exactly why Alexei was there and what he wanted to know. It was a mistake to suggest Fei Long to come to the meeting that day. Alexei could ruin everything. Before the meeting ended, he should come up with a way to prevent it.

"Fei Long-sama," he whispered as the meeting concluded. "We should leave early to avoid traffic. You have another important meeting after this."

Fei Long nodded. He couldn't wait to leave the place anyway. It was customary to stay a while for a little conversation, but that day he was in no mood to pretend. Just when he was about to leave, one of the leaders stopped to greet him personally.

"We'll be seeing you again next week in Moscow then?"

"I'm sorry?" Fei Long asked curiously as he turned to look at Yoh for answers. He wasn't aware that his schedule required him to be in Russia.

"I'm afraid Liu laoban will not be able to attend that event." Yoh replied reluctantly.

"What a shame. " The older man sighed. "Seeing how close you were, I thought you would surely attend the engagement party."

"We really should leave." Yoh rushed to his master's side and tried to push him to leave.

It was strange. Yoh never tried to rush him as much as to cut conversations. "Whose?" He asked, trying to think which of his close acquaintances could be getting engaged in Moscow.

"The older Arbatov's?" The man answered in a curious tone. He was sure at least everyone in that room had been invited.

Still unable to comprehend, a puzzling look appeared on Fei Long's face as he asked, "I was under the impression Vladimir has only two sons...." His voice trailed off into a whisper as he turned to look at Alexei and realized what he was being told. His mind went blank for a full minute before he could open his mouth and uttered the hardest question he'd ever asked. "Mikhail's?"

He didn't have to wait for answers to know he was right. It was as if lightening had struck him right there in that room. For a moment there he thought his heart had stopped beating. How could he not see it coming? Mikhail had chosen the best way to deliver him a message. It was all over. While he was struggling to leave it all behind, Mikhail ended it with absolute certainty, once and for all.

"You haven't got the card? It must have gotten lost." Alexei stepped in and grabbed Fei Long's arm. "Excuse us."

Without waiting for his consent, Alexei led him out of the room. He had wondered what Fei Long's reaction would be when he heard the news but never thought he'd get to see it happening right in front of him. In truth he should be celebrating, but for some strange reasons, he was pissed. Somebody should have told him much earlier and not let him find out this way, in front of all those people.

"Alexei. Stop." A faint protest escaped those delicate lips as he yanked his arm free from Alexei's grip. "I have a meeting to attend." He said calmly.

At that moment both Yoh and Alexei paused to look at him in question. Fei Long was standing there with nothing more than the usual cold and reserved expression on his face as if nothing had happened.

"You're not going to ask me anything?" Alexei asked. He had expected to see something else, at least some reaction, but not this. Fei Long may seem to be cold, but not this cold, especially when it had to do with Mikhail. One thing he was certain of, Mikhail meant a lot to him.

"Please congratulate him for me." A faint smile appeared on Fei Long's lips as he said it. It wasn't an attempt at being sarcastic. He said it with sincerity. Mikhail deserved nothing less.

Without one more word spoken, Yoh escorted him to the car. For seven years he had been by Fei Long's side yet now he didn't know what to say. Under the circumstances, he wasn't sure if Tao would either. But despite Fei Long's unusual calmness, the silence in that car was suffocating.

"We received the card a few days ago. I thought I'd tell you when there's less on your mind." The actual truth was, he didn't know how. He had suspected that they had broken up when Fei Long came back from Russia. But for Mikhail to decide to get marry in such a short period of time came as a shock to him. Having been that close to Fei Long as his trusted bodyguard it was impossible to not see it. There had never been anyone more persistent in gaining his master's affection than Mikhail Arbatov. No one had ever come close nor made the always cold and reserved leader of Baishe laugh or smile quite like him. How in God's name could he have told Fei Long that man had deserted him?

"Yoh." Fei Long interrupted, his face turned away to the window.

"Yes?"

"Don't ever keep things from me again." That silky smooth voice was as cold as ever, but there was something more to it that made Yoh felt like beating himself up for not telling him the truth from the beginning.

"Yes, Fei Long-sama." He replied. "Should I cancel your meetings today?" That was the least he could do. Underneath that expressionless face, he thought his master must have needed some time alone.

"Why?" Fei Long asked, still looking away.

"Nothing. Sorry." Yoh apologized and kept quiet for the rest of the journey. If there was something that could be done, he wasn't the man to do it.

_'Why?'_

Fei Long repeated his own word in his mind as he stared out into the busy streets of Hong Kong.

Why should he be surprised? After all that he had done, it was understandable. It must have hurt like hell for someone like Mikhail to strike him back this way. He didn't have the right to be angry, didn't even have the right to call it betrayal. Under the circumstances, he might have done the same, if not more. For once, things were exactly as they should be.

_Hate me, Mikhail._

_At least then I can forgive myself._

 

***

_Moscow. One week earlier._

"You should already know my answer." Feodora confirmed with certainty.

"I don't have a choice, Feodora." Those blue eyes held hers with honesty. "You may hate me for eternity for asking you this much. But I will not be able to bear this if it wasn't you," Mikhail said with shame in his tone. He'd made a decision. And if he had to be a prick to see it done he would.

"That had to be the lamest proposal I've ever heard." Feodora protested.

"I'm sorry." It was all he could say. There was no excuse for it. Feodora had been nothing but kind to him and all he had ever done was hurt her over and over again.

"Will you not try talking to him?" To her it sounded simple. Fei Long should understand.

Mikhail smiled at himself in pity. "I would lose him just for mentioning it." There was one thing Fei Long treasured above all else. And that was what's left of his father: Baishe.

"Then find Liu Yan Zhui and get rid of him." She said with the tone that told him she was not joking.

He had no choice but to stare at her in awe. They grew up together and she had been a close friend of the family, but she was never one of them. "You really start to sound like my father." Or Alexei for that matter.

"You kill indiscriminately." If he thought she didn't know then surely he had been underestimating her. Mikhail may be kind and gentle to those he cared about, but he was far from innocent. "Why not?"

Mikhail can shoot someone in cold blood and walk back to enjoy his dinner with the gun still on the table. She had never questioned him. Business was business. And Mikhail had always kept it strictly separated from his personal life. So why not kill Liu Yan Zhui when it would solve all problems?

Mikhail looked at her with the expression that showed he had more than once considered that option. "You're telling me to kill his brother."

"They're not even related." She protested.

"Still a brother to him and his only family." He wasn't sure about their relationship. In truth Fei Long was always reluctant to talk about it. Every time he brought it up Fei would brush it aside with a trace of pain on his face. His sources told him they quarreled just before Fei Long met with Asami and that Yan Zhui was probably the reason why he wanted to leave Baishe then. It didn't sound like they were on good terms. But until he knew for sure, he wouldn't dare risk walking the path that would forever turn him into Fei's enemy.

"I am not that Japanese bastard." It disgusted him to even say that name. He was quite sure by now Fei Long had some idea about his brother being alive. And if he didn't make a point at getting rid of this threat then he must have had his reasons. That was between Fei Long and his brother. It wasn't his place to interfere.

"Besides, if you think that will stop my father, then you don't know him at all." It was true. Vladimir Arbatov was not a man who gives up easily. Should he choose to strike things will surely end up in tragedy.

She couldn't help but sighed heavily at the thought. By now she had no doubt, Mikhail's love for that man was genuine. If only Fei Long knew how lucky he was. "Wouldn't you still lose him over this?" She asked.

Those blue eyes dimmed a little when he heard the question he had secretly feared.  
"Perhaps."

In truth he knew he would. Who was he kidding? It was the proud Liu Fei Long of Baishe, not some common whore. He wouldn't be surprised if Fei would want to shoot him in the head the next time they meet. For whatever reasons, him getting married was still betrayal. If there was one thing Liu Fei Long does not forgive, it was betrayal.

At least it was the best choice he had that would stop his father from being a threat to Fei because of him. And then he would be free to do what he wanted, whether or not Fei would ever accept him again.

The problem was, it made him a bastard to Feodora.

"I understand if you have to say no. But I do wish it would be you."

She couldn't help but admire his courage and his sincerity. No matter what he had done, no matter how many people he had killed, and even when he was standing here asking for the unspeakable, the man in front of her was nothing short of someone full of pride and honor.

"You know," She reached up to caress his cheek softly, "as much as I want to say no, how do I let you marry someone else?" Knowing Mikhail had already made that decision, she too had no choice. If he wasn't going to marry for love, then she would rather die than see him marry someone else.

"Besides, the Russian GQ man of the year wants to marry me. How can I refuse?" She said jokingly as Mikhail caught her hand in his. It must have been even harder for him to go through this. She knew he didn't want to put her in this position. And he had to do it while letting go of the one man who meant more to him than anything or anyone ever could. But still he smiled, sadly, but tenderly. That was how extraordinary he was. Who would ever imagine, that a powerful, cold-blooded Russian mafia who kills for a living could be so warm and possessed a heart that can love someone to this extent? She was lucky enough to have this man as her own. Mikhail loved her, just not the most.

 

***

For nearly a week Fei Long had worn himself out with work. When he didn't work he trained. And not even Tao knew if he really slept at night. It was as if he would go mad if his mind wasn't occupied. And of all that time he hadn't said a word about the engagement. He didn't ask who, not even when. The card Yoh finally delivered to him was still on his desk. Unopened. Untouched.

Apart from that everything was normal. At least everyone else thought so. Except for him and Tao who could feel that suffocating tension rising everyday. Though neither could do one thing about it. Fei Long pretty much kept to himself and bluntly refused to be addressed on the subject.

Yoh sighed heavily and took one deep breath before he entered the study. Knowing it was going to be another day he had to endure that sight. Fei Long's study had not changed one bit, except for the missing Monet. But lately he had come to dread walking into that room. It was luxuriously decorated, yet it felt like an empty prison cell Fei Long had locked himself into.

And there he was, sitting quietly as usual, reading the pile of paper that accumulated on his desk as Yoh watched with concern. Those lean and delicate shoulders carried more weight than any man should have to handle. Yet the mighty leader of Baishe carried it faultlessly. Here, in this room, Liu Fei Long had been bearing that burden single-handedly for more that seven years. Alone.

How many would ever know what that flawlessly beautiful face had been through? How many men would break if placed in his position at such a young age? It wasn't hard to understand why his men stayed loyal to him. It wasn't just loyalty, it was admiration. No one had ever doubted his ability to rule. Yet no one ever could break into the depths of his heart. Except, perhaps, one man. And just like everyone else he had ever cared for in his life, that man had deserted him.

"Fei Long-sama." Yoh greeted him quietly. "Your mail."

Without raising his head to look at yet another pile of letters Yoh carried in his hands, he simply nodded. "Just leave them there."

Seeing that Yoh was reluctant to leave the room, he asked with a slightly annoyed tone, "Anything else?"

Yoh paused for a few seconds before handing him another small piece of mail. "This came for you this morning with no sender's name. I'm not sure if you want to take a look."

Sensing something rather strange in Yoh's voice, he reached out for the letter. It was a small, white envelope neatly sealed and with nothing but his name written on it in English. Yet it was enough to make him drop his pen as soon as he saw it.  
He had come to know that handwriting by heart. And just the sight of it sent his hands shivering as he opened the letter slowly.

He paused for a full minute when he saw the content of that small envelope.

Inside was an object, small, and familiar. An object he thought he would never see again. He reached for it and cradled it gently in the palm of his hand before picking up the small piece of paper that accompanied the cylindrical pendent, in it written with black ink by the same handwriting:

</i>Yours,  
M. Arbatov.</i>

It was a short, simple message that couldn't even be considered a message. And yet they sent small beads of tears rolling down his cheeks as he recalled the meaning of that key.

_You are my possession, and I alone hold the key to your heart._

_You, my friend, hold the key to his heart._

He almost didn't want to wipe those tears from his eyes. Those long forgotten tears, shed for the one man who deserved them.

_Yours..._

It wasn't until then that he realized what it really meant, and why Mikhail insisted on repeating it over and over again. One word, that wasn't even 'love'. One word that was more than enough to tell him what a fool he had been to ever doubted it.

***

The sound of the private elevator opening made Alexei dropped what he was doing and turned around to see the unexpected guest.

"Fei Long?" It was beyond unexpected and it left him speechless.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Fei Long couldn't help chuckling in his throat.

"I'm not sure I haven't." The news of Mikhail's engagement must have been a shock to him. Still, it was more than unlikely that Fei Long would be inviting himself in like this.

"Under what extraordinary circumstances would you go so far as to visit me in my penthouse?"

"I'm not here to visit you." He didn't think Alexei would still be here. "And it's not your penthouse. It's Mikhail's."

"You came here just to tell me this?" Alexei asked with a cunning smile as he lit a cigarette.

"I came expecting you to have left already for the engagement."

"I'm leaving soon. I suppose you're not coming."

"No." He answered in his usual tone as he stepped out onto the balcony and stood by the pool quietly.

Fei Long was dressed in one of his usual suits with no tie on. It wasn't anything he'd never seen before. Yet there was something different about him that one could obviously feel from his presence. The leader of Baishe was always an eye candy in whatever he wore. But that day he found himself unable to take his eyes off him. Fei Long had a presence that made his heart raced like never before.

"What happened?" He couldn't help asking. Something definitely did.

"What do you mean?"

"You're different."

Fei Long smiled slightly in response. "Am I?"

It might very well be the first time Alexei saw him smile like that. "Yes. And you haven't told me why you're here."

Long, elegant fingers rubbed the white paint on the back of the chair that had been moved away from the pool gently. "I left something here."

"Did you?" Alexei said as he stepped closer. The sight of that man in front of him made him impatient. That was a different Fei Long he'd never tasted. He had been wanting this man for himself for a while, but never this much. Fei Long was never this appealing.

"Really. What happened?" He spun that elegant body around into his embrace as he bent down in an attempt to capture those delicious lips.

In a split second Fei Long brought a switchblade to his neck. "Take one step closer and I swear I'll gut you alive." He said with a perfectly innocent smile, yet the firm hand on the blade said he certainly wasn't kidding.

"My God in heaven." Alexei licked his lips. "You and a knife. I'll die a lucky man."

"You will die before you get lucky." Fei Long said firmly, pressing the blade closer to his neck. "Hands off, Alexei."

The young Russian paused for a moment as his eyes traveled down to Fei Long's opened collar. "You have got to be kidding me." He couldn't help staring at the jewelry around that long neck.

Realizing what Alexei was staring at, he backed up quickly. For a few seconds there those cheeks flushed a little crimson.

"So that's why." He immediately understood what caused the change in the Baishe's leader. "Wonderful. The man cheats on his soon-to-be fiancée just days before their engagement and you called me an unimaginable bastard." He had to give it to them. His damn brother just does not give up no matter what he did.

"Come to Moscow with me. It'd be fun." He couldn't help asking. It sure would.

Fei Long sneered at the invitation. "Your idea of fun is far from sane. Besides, I'm leaving for Tokyo in a few days."

"Tokyo?" Of all places. Mikhail would not take this news lightly knowing who's in Tokyo.

"I have unfinished business that's long overdue." Seven years to be exact. He had been running away from it far too long. It was about time he puts an end to this mess.

"You suddenly have the urge to confront him? Why now?"

Those amethyst eyes saddened a little as he stared out into the bright blue sky ahead of him. It was the blue he had always loved: the color of his eyes.

"It has cost me far too much." He replied quietly.

That past had been haunting him far too long. More importantly, it had taken from him the one thing he had come to hold dear. Mikhail must have been forced into that marriage for some reasons. And undeniably it was partly his fault that made things turned out the way they did. It was about time he dealt with it no matter how much of a mess it would turn out to be.

It was the reason that brought him back to this place. If anything, Mikhail had taught him what he needed to move on.

He took a deep breath and inhaled the scent that still lingered in that space, reliving every kiss and every warm embrace that had been etched ever so clearly in his mind.

Here was where it all began. Here was where he found his strength. He wasn't sure whether the separate path they walk would ever meet. He didn't know if sixty years from now he would still be the owner of the key he had around his neck. Yet one thing remained certain. Whatever happens, the memory of how Mikhail had changed his life can never be taken away from him.

***

Epilogue

 

The engagement party was held at the Arbatov's main residence in Moscow. The guest list alone could have filled a decent book let alone the number of press that swarmed the house. That was his father's idea of what the heir to his throne deserved. He didn't want to imagine the wedding. Not that he looked forward to it anyway.

Mikhail stood quietly out on the balcony of his study, alone, away from the suffocating atmosphere created by the crowds down below. A glass of red wine sat empty in his hand. It must have been his fourth, perhaps fifth. Whatever that number was, it didn't do its job quiet the way he wanted.

"Here, take this." Alexei who had somehow sneaked into the room unnoticed handed him a smoke.

As much as he wanted to beat the crap out of his brat brother, he was in no mood to pick a fight.

_Perhaps later._

As soon as the smoke hit his throat, Mikhail cursed and took a good look at what he thought was a cigarette. "What the fuck is this?"

"Weed." Alexei answered with his usual tone as he lit one for himself.

"You gave me weed on the day of my engagement?" He didn't even know why he was surprised. It was like Alexei to think of such things.

"What? You want coke?" Those yellow-green eyes looked genuinely puzzled.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." Mikhail gave him a deadly glare, still partly amazed at his brother's ability to get on his nerve endlessly.

_Perhaps now is the time to beat him up._

Despite the deadly tone his brother threatened him with, Alexei simply laughed. "I have a very good one." He paused to take another hit on his joint before he continued. "Should I tell my soon-to-be-sister-in-law that you sent him that pendent?"

How Alexei knew about it, he didn't want to know. But it was his turn to laugh. "She already knows."

"How lucky for you." He just had to compliment his brother. Sincerely. Not only did he manage to secure the heart of Liu Fei Long, he also managed to get a woman of high profile to marry him knowing he's in love with another. Not to mention, that he was also now the man in power. Mikhail Arbatov is far from stupid.

"Am I?" Mikhail murmured as he continued to smoke. On the night when no one seemed to know how he felt, strangely enough, Alexei was the one who understood what he needed: 'something' stronger than alcohol.

"With all that money and power, I can't even afford to have one of the most basic things in life. You call that lucky?" He should be thankful for such a privileged position. But 'lucky' was the one word that couldn't be further from the truth.

"Life's sarcastic, isn't it?" Alexei smirked at the thought. "Here I am, free to do as I please and still I can't seem to get my hands on what I want. You possess the one thing I desire and yet you're not allowed to have it." His brother may not know it, but with all his frustrations, he needed 'something' as much.

A puzzling look appeared on Mikhail's face, "I was under the impression that you have what you want." As much as he wanted to forget, it wasn't easy.

"Let's just say I want a little more than I already have." Alexei smiled sarcastically as he answered. The truth was he didn't really know what he wanted. To him, commitment was still out of the question. But there was something about Fei Long that left him with the kind of hunger he'd never felt. The kind of hunger that sex wasn't able to fill.

That sounded like Fei Long all right, Mikhail thought to himself. His poor brother had no idea what he was getting himself into. He himself didn't know either. "To tell you the truth I'm not sure I have what you want."

"I think you do." Alexei said casually as he made a gesture with his hand just over his chest. "He wears it right here, you know?"

Just over his heart.

Mikhail's hand that was holding the smoke paused in midair just before it reached his lips. His blue eyes lit up as he realized what it meant.

"I swear I'd never seen him blush like that. Makes me want to pin him on the floor right then and there." Alexei explained with a big grin on his face, imagining what it'd be like if Fei Long was blushing over him instead and how much more delicious he would be.

"Alexei." Mikhail glared as he grabbed his brother's collar and threw him against the wall. "Don't. Ever. Touch. What's. Mine. Again."

Unaffected by the threat as usual, Alexei just laughed. "Hey, considering I've just delivered the best news in your life. You should at least raise my allowance on top of not killing me."

Mikhail sighed and let go of the collar. Alexei did have a point. After all, the man did just play cupid for him. "Get the hell out of here before I change my mind."

As he was leaving the room, Alexei turned around and left a message. "That was your engagement present, by the way. I'm not always this generous." It was true. Under normal circumstances he would have never told Mikhail this little fact. But what difference does it make anyway? The man was, in a way, out of the competition.

Under the golden moonlight on that balcony, Mikhail stood in silence as a gentle smile slowly appeared on his face. Perhaps Alexei was right. Perhaps he is a lucky man in spite of all this. For at long last Fei Long has accepted him. At long last he finally had a place in Fei's heart.

 

The End.

*****

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you've enjoyed the first arc and whether you want the next. This is possibly the least angst-y one of the trilogy so if you're moving on to the next, please be warned. Thank you for reading it this far. I hope it wasn't a total waste of time ^^!


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